thanks to poetv today for unearthing so many memories of my fat, nerdy middle school years.

P.S.: someone from "Growing Pains" was in this game.

Wasn't this the game with the bacon-colored cowboy that'd take your items?

Someone made a game about my dad?

FUCK YOU FOR READING MY MIND!

I was planning on submitting some Zork stuff and here you go.

I could never get past the spider that I think leads you to Flood Control Dam 5. Anyone else ever figure it out?

+5 for failing hard at arson

The only things I remember about this game are the dwarves, psycho bipolar vulture guy, and the chick's bursting chest.

It looks like the next episode of Half-Life 2 is going to take the game in a bad direction.

-3 because video game videos are boring, +2 for the hillbilly music played on what sounds like an ass-tuba

The only other stuff I could find from this horrible, horrible game were this, a walkthrough-lookin' thing in Japanese, and a French Canadian guy (the same dude who submitted this little gem, apparently) reviewing/bitching about it for HALF A FUCKING HOUR.

knowfuture, i love you. i've honestly considered tracking down and buying an old system or parts so i could play games from this era. dosbox don't cut it.

LOZOZZO

Yeah, hilarious. Congratulations for digging out the most boring moments of my childhood. God those games sucked hard.

-1 for not being as awesome as the text based zork games.

As soon as I read the title of this video "Want some rye" I immediately went back in time 15 years and the words "COURSE YOU DO" flew from my lips. This was the most ridiculous and nonsensical adventure game ever. It took the most impossible combinations of items and talking to people to do the puzzles. My brain was too young to solve its retarded mysteries, but oh how we all tried because dammit, this was all there was back then.

This made me squirt soda out of my nose

OH FUCK I WORKED ON THIS GAME
but only peripherally -- the Windows version of the movie player, in between finishing my first projects and taking over Mech 2. RTZ development was going on when I first started at Activision. Hearing that FUCKING CLIP ("Want some rye?") over and over and OVER for at least ten hours a day was enough to drive anyone batshit.

There were some puzzles that got cut, but sound bites that were clues to their solutions were left in. Activision was trying to beat "7th Guest" to market, and didn't make it.

From where I'm sitting, I can see a "Return to Zork" poster that I have mounted on foam core and hanging on the wall.

Yes.

Yes, I do want some rye.

Here's tae us!

Does it sound like he talks in two different voices?

"Wahnt some rye?"
"COURSE YOU DO!"

YES! I never made it very far in this game (because it made NO GODDAMN SENSE and was incredibly easy to put in an unbeatable state without knowing it) but Rye Guy is an important part of my childhood.

I still own, and play, this game. It's a nightmare getting it to run on Windows XP, but it's worth it for me. Oh, nonsensical Zork puzzles, how I adore you and your requirement that I walk around with rotting meat in my inventory.

Incidentally, the bartender in Zork: Grand Inquisitor has the same line. "Want some rye? 'Course you do!"

zork isn't supposed to have graphics

This game plagued me as a child. One year ago, I went back and finally beat it with the help of a walkthrough. It wasn't nearly as triumphant as I thought it would be.

Pouring out the glass while the old man stares at you doesn't seem the sneakiest thing to do.
AND THEY'RE ALL DEAD.

I never owned this game, and only saw the scene once at a friend's house in 5th grade. Suffice it to say, I remember it perfectly.

Return to Zork never ran this fast on my old computer.

I wish my CD wasn't all scratched. :(

My uncle did the sound for this game, during his heavy stoner Seattle dude experience. Sadly Sometime within the past few years he got stoned and Barely escaped a fire he set with a joint or something and quit and is now a conservative sigh