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Desc:Enjoy supermarket pizzas with the most terrifying panda ever to walk the earth.
Category:Advertisements, Horror
Tags:pizza, panda, mommy make it go away
Submitted:Daniel Striped Tiger
Date:09/11/08
Views:1797
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Comment count is 27
PlushJake
Were they playing Dragons Lair?
Caminante Nocturno
If your parents can't afford to take you to Chuck E. Cheese's...
BHWW
There's just something about low-rent places that cater to parents who can't afford (or are just too cheap) to take their kids to a place like Chuck-E-Cheese or Peter Piper Pizza or other "family pizza restaurants"
I recall a place like this in a small city where I used to live for a bit. It was in a slightly rundown neighborhood and housed in a long, low cinderblock building where the owners had had murals painted on, featuring pizzas, rocketships, basketballs and other random crap. It looked really half-assed and slapdash.

BHWW
I should add I actually went inside this place on one occasion, invited to a younger cousin's birthday and it was pretty much what I expected. The games area covered with paper-thin drab gray carpet and the rest of floor was skanky yellow linoleum. A bank of beat-up looking arcade games, some ball games and a ballpit crammed into one corner almost as an afterthought. School cafeteria quality pizza, a staff mostly made up of surly teens and adults almost zombielike in their movements. It was not a good place to be.

Daniel Striped Tiger
Sometimes low-rent can be fun. I remember a place called Treasure Forest, it was a mom n pop restaurant/arcade. I enjoyed it very much. They had skee ball, and batting cages, and sold Orange Whips, and Reuben Dogs. They also had a delivery service, but no car, so mom would make deliveries on a bicycle. They were located in a little valley, so every time she had to make a run she would have to hump it up a 45 degree incline on what looked like a Huffy they bought at Wal-mart. If you stayed and watched her going back and forth long enough she started to look like a zombie decaying in the sun. Beat that floor show Chuck E Cheese.

Hooker
Wait, wait. There are families that are too poor to go to Chuck-E-Cheese?

panipuri
Well now this place is strip mall suburbia. In the 80's I don't think that it was more local in character as were most area's of Buffalo. I would prefer the Pizza Planet any over the TGIFriday's that is at 6860 Main St now.

panipuri
* I mean I think it was more local in character in the 80s

FISTFULLofSOUL
Oooh those dead eyes!
NoCode
Sylvester Stallion.
Xenocide
You can't escape the panda. He'll hover over you while you eat pizza. He'll follow you into the ballpit. Then when you go home and go to bed, you'll wake up the next morning and there he'll be, standing over your bed, staring right into your eyes.

STARING.
Mostly Pi
"next to Denim World" is what really tied the entire experience up nicely for me. Makes me think of a vast beige conglomeration of store fronts with a shared muddy brown roof, spread out lazily over 3000 square feet of the corner of an industrial district by the interstate. The sky is slate and drizzling. Germans and little old ladies are coming in and out of Denim World. I'm turning 10. As I stand there in the cold, hand in hand with my parents, staring out across the trash strewn parking lot at Pizza Planet I realize how cheap and shabby beneath the veneer of anticipation my best experiences are and something breaks inside that I can never mend.
bang to buck ratio
Stars for you


haole
Mostly Pi, are you secretly J.D. Salinger?

Mostly Pi
I could be, if that's what you want *wink wink*

DK1987
I grew up near Rochester during when Western New Yorks economy was destroyed and I remember going to places like this, but me and others didn't mind, because we didn't know anything better. And yeah everything was cheap and the food wasn't as good but for the people there that was all that they could afford.
I still remember it as a place where the adults always looked saddened and drained of will, but the kids who didn't know any better grew up happy albeit with a soul devouring panda bear...

Bort
The depressing thing is, some kid probably DID have his best birthday party ever there.
HURF BLURF DUH
You made me sad. I hate you.

StanleyPain
Awesome all around, but at least a few stars for the phrase "the most terrifying panda ever to walk the earth."
Daniel Striped Tiger
RAAHR! I'MA GONNA KILL YOU THEN EAT SOME BAMBOO! CAUSE I'M A VEGAN! OOGA BOOGA!

minimalist
That panda is the fucking UNDEAD. The way it emerges from the curtain, fixing you with its eyeless, undead gaze... that is my every childhood nightmare, compressed into one primal image. Jesus jesus jesus.

Postureduck
Next to Denim World!
baleen

What the hell is a Buffalo Stallion soccer ball.
DMKA
Wasn't Pizza Planet from Toy Story?

In before lawlsuit.
RomancingTrain
Neckfaces, the lot of 'em.
PeteyCruiser
what a deal
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