"Everybody pretend you don't have blood!"
i just really really hate twilight, and the fact that it exists. any reminders thereof, even parody or mockery, is painful to me. SO SUE ME.
RiffTracks: Get on this shit already.
Twilight would have been a lot better if it had been directed by Jess Franco.
Lurchi, nothing can save Twilight from itself. The source material is fundamentally flawed.
Five stars for "I like Jell-O" at the end.
In a perfect world we'd be watching this on real tv. :~(
|Man Who Fights Like Woman |
"Level five smug alert!"
Having ignored the Twilight Phenomena since it's beginning, i have found myself wondering why the Vampire (who is clearly pale, as though he has never seen the sun), is plainly walking about in daylight, attending a high school cafeteria?
I mean... shouldn't he be spontaneously combusting? Or is he wearing REALLY good sunscreen or something? (I'm guessing that, based on the caliber of writing that i've heard attributed to the series- that the Vampire character is saved by the power of his mary-sue sparkles.
No, no. You see, the book is set in Forks, Washington, which is the cloudiest North American city or something dumb like that and is also a complete shit-hole which the author did not bother to research before she set her lame book there.
Also, these vampires don't melt in the sun. They sparkle.
You think I'm kidding?
Let me clarify: They JUST sparkle. That's it. There's no other consequence for daywalking. Just sparkles.
Seriously? Motherfucking SPARKLES? This book gives twee and precious entirely new meanings, doesn't it?
These vampires are made of diamond. They're not like, regular undead guys with a blood fetish. They're rock vampires.
|Spit Spingola |
There's something weird about hearing both Crow voices in the same clip.
The first thing I noticed wrong with this clip is that all of the natives that actually live in Forks and the rest of the Peninsula have been replaced with Asians. There are very few Asian families out on the Peninsula and most of them run Chinese, Japanese, Thai restaurants.
The Olympic Peninsula is really a beautiful place in the spring/summer. You can watch the whales, climb mountains and look out at the sea/straight/Canada. Twilight has come along and utterly fucked it up by interrupting these views with fat goth beasts.
| Register or login To Post a Comment|