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Desc:This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Halo Wars.
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:Halo, zero punctuation, Yahtzee, escapist
Submitted:Caminante Nocturno
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Comment count is 29
-5 stars for not actually murdering the unskippable guy

+4 for righteous ire at arbitrary time limits
You know the unskippable guy was actually skippable right?

alright, cool. but look at it this way: it took up probably 1/5th of the video so I'm giving it 4/5ths the score as a normal Yahtzee video

I think that's fair. That guy is boring and stupid and I hope he dies. Maybe he could be eaten by snapping turtles.

Fact: British accents can make things funnier.
Also after playing the game, I can safely say that every single character is an unlikeable asshole. The Commander is bland, and that's as good as it gets. Even the AI whines and insults rather than doing her job. I was really hoping the game would end with everyone dead.

Fact: Canadian accents are adorably dorky.
X-Blades? You'd have to cut a morbidly obese grandmother's legs off to find a slower-moving target.
I want to be like Yahtzee too but that doesn't mean we can make far flung, long winded comparisons all willy-nilly anytime we want to be cool.

Ah, yes, I remember well the day Yahtzee invented the simile.

Fuck that
Syd Midnight
4 stars because 1/5th of it is unwatchable. And that's after I took Yahtzee's challenge and watched the "Unskippable" short, which was 95% skippable MSTing. He wants you to watch it because it starkly proves that he is funny and the other guys aren't.

the only unskippable that's even remotely funny is the one they did for "The Bouncer"

Syd Midnight
I should have given him a 5th star for how bad he made the other guys look on "Unskippable", 'cause he was actually kinda funny.

What arbitrary silliness
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Dude hates games.
This one was weird.
Caminante Nocturno
The main character in X-Blades is wearing assless denim shorts.

And that's not even the most embarrassing thing about the cover.
Michael Houser
The contrast was STARK.
Never have I so welcomed a British man -- not since pledge-drive on PBS.
Minus one star for the unskippable guy.
Plus on star for the imp
Wonko the Sane
"hey lets run away from home and fall off a tree" is quite possibly the cruelest thing Yahtzee has said to date.
Caminante Nocturno
It took me a while to remember what he was referencing to, but yeah.

Sudan no1
"The controls were stupid. I don't like this genre. There was this really stupid frustrating part. This game is unoriginal and creatively bankrupt. Video games are for nerds anyway."

I will never play this game and I am sure it deserves to be mocked, but Yahtzee's act is tired. It was funny for a while, though.
Jeff Fries

Sometimes he's on, sometimes he's off for me. I still find him consistently funny enough to tune in each week.

Also, he's already explained that no one likes it when he actually does give a good review or is being "nice", so he doesn't do that anymore.

Syd Midnight
Call of Duty 4 was one of the few times he really liked a game AND gave a well-liked review.

Terrible marketing all around, on The Escapist's part for assuming that the reason people don't watch all their crappy videos is because they just don't know about them, and on Bungie's part because the entire time I assumed their game was an MMORPG.

Still 5 for the Battle Royale collars and my ability to replace people's voices with other, better people's voices in my head.
I find it kinda cute how seriously ya'll take to rating Yahtzee's videos.
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