Perhaps the young lady could look where she's walking.
|THA SUGAH RAIN |
Do you want the shoe back?
Fuck no I dont want the shoe back, its been marinating in sewage, you moron.
|Man Who Fights Like Woman |
Not so much.
WHAT THE FUCK
I WAS WALKING ALONG AND THIS LAMP POST POPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND BRAINS ME ON THE HEAD
PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS
A lightpole is right in front of your field of vision, this is different. Have you ever stepped on dog shit or gum? People are blaming her because she was doing that hip new thing Kids These Days are doing.
That hip new thing is falling into shitholes?
Actually, I'm blaming her because she was stupid.
Gum is small.
Dogshit is hidden in grass.
This is a giant black circle on a long white line. It's hard to think of something that could stand out more.
So she was dumb for text-walking. But the city workers clearly fucked up by opening the cover and then walking away from it. Lawsuit-worthy? Maybe.
Stop giving your spawn stripper names yall.
Alright fellas give it up, now up next on the main stage is Alexaaaaa. *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts playing*
This is you, isn't it TeenerTot.
Oh please. I was falling into manholes before this girl was a glint in her daddy's eye.
How long would this girl last in a rain forest?
That would depend on whether or not she's got phone service.
Civilization is supposed to protect us from natural selection. This creates a stupid, but cheerful, populace. These people failed to save her from herself, which is socially irresponsible.
I know another hole that's dark and smelly!
You guys can fill in the rest.
No, god, you pervs. No. It's a comfy armchair.
I got somethin that could fill the rest
It's a penis with an anus attached to it
Perhaps she should go wash up.
|Robin Kestrel |
You know, however much I want to make fun of her and her mom, they are right: the cones should have been out there first.
Heaven knows if there had been orange cones to protect her that giant, gaping black maw of the sewer hadn't opened to swallow her into its stomach full of our raw sewage. Those cones would have seen her coming and said, "Look out miss or the sewer will eat you!"
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I like how fake sad the announcer is able to make himself sound. That is some quality acting right there.
I hope next time she texts herself into something even more dangerous.
You know, there's only one accent in the world that I really, honestly fucking hate. All NEW YAWKERS MUST DIE.
She managed four texts before being pulled up from the sewer.
MEDICAL BILLS ARE MOUNTING AND SHE HAS LOST A SHOE
Extra stars for having the most unattractive accent in the world.
If I'm reading a book and I walk into an open manhole, it's no fucking issue: I'm to fault. I should have been watching where I was walking, because walking down the fucking road without looking is fucking stupid. Orange cones or not: if I'm pottering along the road and fall into an OPEN SEWER because I'm more interested in Prof Snape, I was injured by my own conceit. I chose to be willfully blind in an environment of speeding cars, cracked pavements and holes in the goddamn ground.
This girl does the exact same thing and it's an INTER-GENERATIONAL ISSUE because it wasn't a book, it was KID'S TECH.
That's stupid. She acted stupidly, the city workers stepped away from the hole for a few seconds and now she wants big money pay-outs.
I hope she gets a really important text on a farm. WASN'T MY FAULT I WALKED INTO BARBED WIRE, THERE SHOULDA BIN CONES.
Leave it to local news to take the fun out of what should be a joyous event. An event deserving of celebration.
Needs Schadenfreude tag
Well the comments here played out pretty much how I would have expected them to.
I respect any technological revolution that makes the news sound more like cartoons.
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