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Desc:A super-creeps guide to kissing, courtesy of Everything is Terrible.
Category:Educational, Humor
Tags:90s, Kiss, dating, Everything is Terrible, bad boy
Submitted:C. Eloi Marx
Date:10/09/09
Views:3277
Rating:
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Comment count is 38
FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
A BASE FROM WHICH YOU CAN LAUNCH OTHER KISSES

THE MUSIC KISS

FEASTING ON YOUR LADY'S SWEET, JUICY EYEBALLS NOT RECOMMENDED ON THE FIRST DATE

TAKE BREAKS TO SWALLOW

Also, shitty CGI says 90s to me, not 80s.
C. Eloi Marx
You're right. Done.

C. Eloi Marx
Really, I must have had a mental block that these types of instructional videos died in the 80's; because the "fashions", the hairdos, the power point graphics all point towards the Clinton years.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
That's because you're not taking breaks to swallow.

Mouth all cartoonishly overflowing with foaming saliva,.

baleen
This actually succeeded in making me nauseated.

BOOSH
"The tip of your tongues, flickering them like a snake"


Enjoy
Is THE MUSIC KISS real? Has anyone tried it and did your partner participate or complain?

poetry publishing guide
Tnis is actually one of the most insane things I've ever seen on POETV. Like, this is more insane than the schizophrenic guy ranting about helicopters and boy scouts at the city council meeting


The Townleybomb
The "Teasing Kiss" reminds me of that video of the one spider trying to get laid by doing all kinds of inexplicable frenetic things with its pedipalps while the other one just sits there.
Comeuppance
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=14230

thebaronsdoctor
"Remember; if a man pulls out a cartoonish bottle of breath spray and eyes you lustily while using it it's a good sign he wants to kiss...Or rape you"
Caminante Nocturno
Was this produced by androids with only a basic understanding of human beings?
BHWW
Footage from an instructional video for Martians or some other kind of damn spacemen.

Hooper_X
WHAT IS THIS THING YOU CALL "KISSING," HU-MAN?

StanleyPain
Business Kisses
Riskbreaker
The "bad boy/good boy" graphics made it for me.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Which goes to show nice guys finish last, hence TFL.

pastorofmuppets
Bill's a good boy but a bad human.

Toenails
actually, the "boys knowing when to kiss" and "boys not knowing when to kiss" graphic made it for me.

Really world? 91% of dudes don't know when to kiss??

The Mothership
2:33 to 2:37 makes this.

Also, love the pie charts.

Enjoy
Tim and Eric had nothing to do with this but I am giving my 5 stars to them.
phalsebob
What, no fat person noisy sucking kiss?
mashedtater
i enjoyed the lip o suction.

because it is safe, opposed to the music kiss which may cause whiplash.
poetry publishing guide
Yeah, I mean are there really that many people suffocating or half-suffocating during kissing??

B_Ko
Try that shit to DRAGONFOOOOOOOOOOORCE.

Testicles of Doom
5 for the mongoloid mouthbreather who's 2 centimeters from the girl's face in the very first shot.

Invisible additional 5 for grossing me out a little bit.
Rafiki
Suck all the air out of her mouth and lungs. Place your hand firmly behind her head to prevent her from pulling away. Pinch her nostrils shut. Hold on tightly until she goes limp. Carry her off to a secluded area and begin living out your wildest fantasies.
oddeye
That reminds me of a true story I read as a child about a serial killer who killed one of his subjects by forcing her to deep-throat him till she suffocated. Really wish I could remember the name now.

Bort
Five Teasing Stars for Rafiki.

cognitivedissonance
CAN'T YOU SEE THEY'RE IN LOVE?!
JimL2
The phonekiss boy has a DOS 6 reference book on his shelf. This is entirely appropriate.
Rudy
Remind me never to vacation in the Trobriand Islands.
Sudan no1
practice on candy and ice cream everyday, and you'll be french kissing people in no time.
athodyd
HOW WAS THIS MADE

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN

TEASING KISS
crote
Lots of good tips here.
THA SUGAH RAIN
IVE BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG ALL THESE YEARS? WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING?
Maru
Not funny enough to make me not have a boner.
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