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Comment count is 38
The Mothership - 2010-03-14

She keeps it real.

BIlly Mays Here - 2010-03-14

"I wanna lose weight, but I can't stop stuffing my goddam face with this delicious mass-produced slurry designed to override my conscious mind with quantities of fat and sugar found beyond anything found in nature!"

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-14

I have had dreams where people at Taco Bell were eating out of one giant trough. I'd just thought I'd add that in.

unknown rebel - 2010-03-14

Truly you have seen the majesty of the Land Beyond.

StanleyPain - 2010-03-14

I could see a Taco Bell diet working, actually, since your body will undoubtedly start cannibalizing itself from the malnutrition.

TeenerTot - 2010-03-14

Or the tapeworms. Don't forget the tapeworms.

splatterbabble - 2010-03-14

Ass geysers

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown - 2010-03-14

Hey, water *is* pretty heavy.

Nikon - 2010-03-14

Better avoid the other stuff like cinnamon twists and fountain drinks ...

Samisyosam - 2010-03-14

"7 items under 9 grams of fat


Urburos - 2010-03-14

Results not typical = People normally don't have this happen to them.

Squeamish - 2010-03-14


posertom - 2010-03-14

Michael Ian Black got us again, guys.

unknown rebel - 2010-03-14

...then I died of scurvy.

splatterbabble - 2010-03-14

Scurvy comes from a deficiency of Vitamin C. Tomatoes have Vitamin C. There's tomatoes in the Fresco Meals. Ergo, you won't get scurvy if you only eat Fresco Meals.

Thanks Aristotle.

Explodotron - 2010-03-14

Not in Taco Bell's tomatoes.

Still, I have a funny image in my head of starving 18th century sailors forcing tacos down their gullets while the ship's surgeon looks down upon them, smirking.

unknown rebel - 2010-03-14

Yarrr mehearties, 'tis better to die of the pirates' wastage than wrestle thy guts with the cruel Mistress Belle.

BorrowedSolution - 2010-03-14

I bet her shit smells AWFUL.

Cube - 2010-03-14

Normal people eat fast food three or four times a year.

TheQuakeSoldier - 2010-03-14

Where do you live, Cuba?

Also: Evil.

Cube - 2010-03-14

Just not in America.

Hooker - 2010-03-14

Okay, I really want to know where you are getting this from, Cube. Where do these results come from and how are they defining "normal people"?

jaunch - 2010-03-14

As a red blooded American, I can assure you that the average person here eats fast food AT LEAST once a week*. Now, I have no idea what its like in the other Western nations, but I would assume its close to that figure.

*results are from an intensive study I conducted in my mind.

unknown rebel - 2010-03-14

Yeah, averaged out across the entire planet and combined with the speculated population of several planets that don't even have food.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-15

I haven't had fast food in ten years. Most of my friends are afraid to eat it.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-03-14

That's not funny.

IrishWhiskey - 2010-03-14

Intestinal parasites and diarrhea are great ways to lose weight.

YakooMarkTwo - 2010-03-14

I always imagine meetings at fast food chain headquarters where the CEO is pounding on the desk, yelling "We need a JARED! Where are we on getting our own Jared!!??"

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2010-03-14

The claims are sensible. Cut 500/cal a day for 2 years and you too can lose weight.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-14

Assuming you aren't already eating 1000 cal/day more than you should be.

Camonk - 2010-03-14

I... thought this was a joke. These are the people who tried to introduce a fourth meal to the day.

revdrew - 2010-03-14

meal is a low fat food.

Angel Carver - 2010-03-14

She is literally shrouded by beach grass and weeds in the "After" pic. What are you hiding Taco Bell?

APE_GOD - 2010-03-14

"i wanted to be realistic. I didn't want to give up fast food."


pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-14

FWIW I lost a fair amount of weight while eating that stuff. It's not ideal, but you don't always have time to cook. Certainly I didn't eat it every day, or even every week. And like they show in the fine print, you have to reduce your daily calories.

"Conclusions Reduced-calorie diets result in clinically meaningful weight loss regardless of which macronutrients they emphasize."

The shitty thing is that it's cheaper to eat fast food than to buy produce.

Koda Maja - 2010-03-14

5 stars for the horn-honking.

gmol - 2010-03-14

5 stars for taco bell simply just throwing there hands up and saying

"Yes, before and after pictures are always faked. So we took a real one and just made it obvious we are covering things up with grass and asking her to put her hands in front of her stomach. At least we are obscuring honestly."

twinkieafternoon - 2010-03-14

Taco Bell is a decent company in an indecent time.

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