|Oscar Wildcat |
All my stars for this man's amazing discovery of the TSA and Homeland Security only 9 years after their founding. But of course, he is a traitor and a terrorist for making these comments, and should be rendered to Egypt for torture. Or perhaps forcibly gay married to Joe the Plumber, as is the style of the times.
He starts off with a point I totally agree with, but phrases it in the most profoundly stupid way possible. Its like his superpower is the ability to distract and annoy people with headslapping inanity.
"C'mon boys, there's only a few minutes until the cops get here. Lets make take this last bag of money and just shoot the witnesses. You start with the... Wait, who's that? Oh no, its Angry-Confused-Talking-Points Man!"
"HEY DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TAKING MONEY OBAMA GAVE TO THE BANKS AFTER TAKING IT FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! ITS LIKE HE'S RAPING US AND PAYING HIS PIMP! IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO YOU, YOU'D WANT TO KILL THEM! THAT MONEY SHOULD BE GOING TO WALL STREET, YOU LOT WILL JUST SPEND IT ON GAY MARRIAGE"
"Argh! Jesus Christ my head is bleeding! Let's just run!"
I was promised 120 seconds, but with the intro and outro I only got 97 or so.
Look, he's not stupid. He can take an entire world of facts and remake them into anything he needs for the argument at hand. Did Obama make the TSA and Homeland Security? HE DID NOW! Does wikipedia say different? LIBERAL CONSPIRACY!
For all the energy maintaining this level of dissonance requires, I'm amazed he's so fat.
It turns brain cells into fat cells.
This man is very confused.
One of my favorite internet stock characters is the fat shut-in who tries to act like a tough guy. Another favorite is the guy who thinks screaming for no reason equals comedy. Combine them, and you've got quite the tasty failure sandwich.
I'd be really interested in a video where he talked about the manliest things he's ever done, seeing as how assaulting airport employees would be high on the list for our President.
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