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Desc:I wrote you a big, sexy hook
Category:Classic TV Clips, Humor
Tags:Michael Bolton, Andy Samberg, the lonely island, jack sparrow
Submitted:oswaldtheluckyrabbit
Date:05/11/11
Views:1113
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Comment count is 20
snothouse
For pure commitment.
IrishWhiskey
It's very funny, but I get annoyed at "mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga". Tortuga was the ordinary pirate port they regularly stop into with no problems. If anything they quested 'away' from it.

Yeah, I'm that guy. It's a burden.

dorje
the movie narrative is the mystical quest to the isle of tortuga

IrishWhiskey
Because I'm that guy: Please explain.

fatatty
You do realize they just wanted Michael Bolton to say "Tortuga" right?

Paracelsus
Most overexposed Disney character of all time? Definitely ruined the ride at the park, which is now all Jack Sparrow all the time, with a LIVE SHOW of Jack Sparrow's fucking antics outside as if you couldn't possibly get enough.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
There's another obscure Disney character you might not have heard of called MICKEY FUCKING MOUSE

Paracelsus
Nah, Mickey's all right.

cognitivedissonance
Apparently you don't go to Disneyland during the 4 months of the year it's Jack Skellington Village or venture into the other half of the park where it's Disney Princess Fantasy Realm.

spikestoyiu
Aw man -- they fucked with the ride? THEY DIDN'T ADD EDDIE MURPHY TO THE HAUNTED MANSION, DID THEY?

IrishWhiskey
If that movie hadn't flopped, I'm certain they would have. That's a scary thought.

cognitivedissonance
The gag is that "The Corpse Bride" was originally conceived as a Haunted Mansion movie, but Disney didn't think "Nightmare Before Christmas" was successful enough. Then they realized it was a merchandising tornado and kicked themselves for it.

Remnants of the Haunted Mansion remain in the Corpse Bride plot, particularly the ending.

spikestoyiu
On the flipside, I imagine adding Christopher Walken to the Country Bear Jamboree would probably improve it greatly.

Do they still have the Country Bear Jamboree?

Paracelsus
Well, EuroDisney doesn't happen to have the Jack Sparrow crap, at least a few years ago. I've only been to that and the one in Florida. I'm not sure I know what the Country Bear Jamboree is. I do know Splash mountain is there, heavily peopled with characters from Uncle Remus, but the gentleman himself is conspicuously absent.

TheSupafly
Oh okay, I enjoyed it.
twinkieafternoon
Just when I think they're out of ammunition, they throw this at me. Jesus, I was getting used to not checking up on them.
garcet71283
So, does this mean I can like Michael Bolton now? Or is he still a no-talent ass-clown.
WHO WANTS DESSERT
Lonely Island's greatest talent is making even the most vapid and untalented pop-stars seem funny and awesome.

Comeuppance
Man, I almost submitted this. Then I submitted something else they did and it was murdered in the hopper.
Sigh.
IrishWhiskey
To be fair, Lonely Island is hit-or-miss at best, and avoiding the anti-Hulu/SNL crowd is a matter of luck.

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