Lef
stars, you.

Syd Midnight
Large muscled men, unshaven and scantily clad, maybe wearing a little leather or a loincloth, sweaty and reeking of masculine oils, ruled only by their primal lusts, battling beasts and each other for the opportunity to seize and ravish your prim and immaculately groomed flesh, your shame and civilized etiquette completely forgotten as you writhe helplessly and pound your little fists against hard hairy men who grasp you roughly and have their way with your body until you submit to the pleasures of barbaric cocklust.

He has chosen heterosexuality, intense lifelong therapy and a shrill harpy prove his commitment. But the barbarians have not, and are ever lurking in shadows and bars and dreams, waiting to MAKE him gay again. Oh no not again blessedjesuscleansemeohsufferingchrist

glendower
Thanks mom

That guy
You should record yourself for an entire day.

"Tobias, you blowhard!"

joelkazoo
Me, too.

minimalist
do you ever kind of feel that life is passing you by

like that people who actually understand things are just kind of going about their own business while you stand in a deep hole going BUHH BUHHHH BLUHHHH LISTEN TO MY DUMB OPINIONS

because you really shouldn't take it out on them

kill yourself

Billy the Poet
The whole idea gives you a little tingle, doesn't it?

kingofthenothing
That and she looks like a Lich with someone else's shrunken head worn as a mask stretched over her rotting skull.

hammsangwich
She doesn't want to introduce any chillins into this LIBRAL INVIRINMENT.

SDAusmus
They have 5 kids, which is the number of times they have likely had sex.

Chalkdust
no, I think in this case it's still "First Lady"

Pillager
Their sex tape will count as the sequel to both Eraserhead & Blue Velvet.

simon666
The props in their sex tape will be an eraserhead and blue velvet.