EvilHomer
I'd like to think that, 2000 years from now, internet historians will stumble upon this video and it'll be viewed as the earlier millennial Beowulf. Linguists will publish it in leather-bound volumes alongside 40th century English translations. Academics will ponder the origins of this folk hero "Haggar"- was he a real man? Mayor of New York City during the tumultuous Early Internet Period, perhaps? And NeoHollywood will release a series of holo-CGI Haggar movies, all of which will be met with scorn and derision from traditional critics who see them as cheapening the gravitas of such a pivotal figure in the Anglo-Saxon tradition.

gmol
From three heros you must now pick.
The red ninja with a backfist as quick?
The street fighter, that can punch through a wall of brick?
No.
The joystick will move twice to the right and you will fight.
Raining suplexes and piledrivers in a mustachioed barrage.
You will pick Mike.
Haggar.

Oh my car.

eatenmyeyes
Well done, gmol.