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Desc:FOR EVERY ANIMAL YOU DON'T EAT I'LL EAT THREE! BEAT YOUR KIDS! PIRATES! NINJAS!
Category:Humor
Tags:not funny, the internet, masculinity, maddox, tough guise
Submitted:WHO WANTS DESSERT
Date:12/17/11
Views:2741
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Comment count is 25
Xenocide
I foresee a bright future for the "Tough Guise" tag.

Maddox is trying so incredibly hard and yet accomplishing so very little. When you come in with an outfit like that, you'd better be prepared to deliver your remarks with all the bombast of a coked-up wrestler cutting a promo for his title fight against Triple-H.

Instead he just kind of sits there and mutters stuff that may have been kinda-sorta semi-shocking five years ago. The guy moves so little and talks with so little energy it's like I'm looking at a Disney robot from the Hall of Presidents.
FABIO
5 years? His brand of internet humor hasn't been relevant since 1998, back when ANYONE with a website got famous. He's even more of a dinosaur than Something Awful and 10 year old webcomics.

Quad9Damage
Oh look everybody, it's Tom fucking Green except he's dressed as a king instead of in scuba gear. Yeah, this was pretty painful to watch. This guy needs to stick to his website. Expanding his horizons was the worst thing he could have done.

Raggamuffin
Like the silent film stars of old, web stars from the days of pure text couldn't adapt to the changing world...
moral sex
Maddox is not funny. Maddox has never been funny. His shtick has been done by others before him, and by people with actual talent. Thus, this video is doubly depressing: first for him trying so hard to be humorous, and second for him never being humorous in the first place.

It's like beating a dead horse, except the horse is imaginary and never existed in the first place.
CornOnTheCabre
oh come on. There's no arguing that his shtick is straight-up embarrassing now, but it's not like he was genetically manufactured in a marketing department -- he did have a vitality to him that a lot of people were organically drawn to, and even if it sounds cool to just call all of those people out-of-touch, misogynist, racistlabelslabelslabels, i think there was a good reason for it.

just like Raggamuffin said, it's just that his brand of humor required a level of "intimacy" with his content, and intimacy simply isn't a part of the internet anymore. this was back before everyone and their brother had a tumblr or a podcast, and it was really novel to follow someone who was essentially just goofing off on the internet at that point. you didn't see this creepy bald dude in a crappy robe, you were actually allowed to use your imagination and endow this freak on the internet with whatever grandiose or horrific physical attributes sold the joke better.

i miss the internet :(

Cena_mark
I liked him until he wrote his first book and became too good to update his webpage. Back when he was good he'd update it it 2 or 3 times a week, but then he stopped updating and still acts like he deserves to be popular.

poorwill
The thing where he graded children's artwork was good. But that's it.

Jet Bin Fever
Well, he does look better with the beard, I'll give him that. But he and Seanbaby should've just stayed away from the cameras.
FABIO
You really think Seanbaby's personality and presence is on the same level as Maddox?

That's all kinds of wrong, but I'm curious to hear why someone would think so.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
If anything, Seanbaby can at least back up his persona by being mohawked martial arts dude in real life. The fact that he has infinitely more screen presence than Maddox doesn't hurt, either.

Jet Bin Fever
Well, no Fabio, I guess you're right on that. I remember being disappointed in some of the dumb shit Seanbaby was appearing in but the guy must have needed to make a buck. So, I'm not equating the two, I suppose. Bad wording on my part.

Quad9Damage
I suppose one's opinion of Maddox may vary but it seems he's a lot better at writing than he is at being an on-screen presence.

When Seanbaby first got in front of the camera he started off with some shitty shit. I think his first gig was when MTV got him to host some dumb show and basically invented his personality for it. But after that he got way better and went on to make history with Broken Pixels.

BHWW
hey guyz maddox is aawesom u r just jealus lusers!!!!

Whoops! Sorry, that was a little too literate for one of Maddox's remaining fans.


fluffy
It inspired him to get better!

Not that he did, but still, he was INSPIRED.
duck&cover
Burger King is looking a little seedy nowadays.
split tail
My initial reaction: Who is this guy? Why does he look like Burger King?

memedumpster
His dad really should have lied to him.
joelkazoo
Well, the host sure thought he was funny!
FreeOJ
Maddox was funny, when I was like 12.
hammsangwich
Go fuck yourself you 19 year old.

FABIO
The saddest part of this (beside its existence) is not the tired child's drawings bit, but the fact that he had to rip off a page from his trapper keeper and show that he could do better. If it was a barely competent drawing of a person it'd at least be keeping in line with the joke, but he actually wanted to show off his ability to draw a Rob Liefeld tank.

Unfunny awkward dork making a living out of an unfunny braggart persona? He's the Tucker Max of internet humor. Go search for some video interviews of Tucker Max. He has the exact same brand of "can't back it up awkwardness" where he unconvincingly recites his meticulously memorized fictional stories about his CRAZY college adventures.
CornOnTheCabre
how exactly is Tucker Max not the Tucker Max of internet humor?

Quad9Damage
His recent post about Sasha Grey (he's been updating his site more frequently lately) was pretty funny actually.
Riskbreaker
Humor - none
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