|Dread Pirate Roberts |
I remember this commercial! I remember it being bad at the time as well.
they still show this. the graphics are updated but its the exact same progression.
Going to the movies is like a rollercoaster! A rollercoaster of advertising!
AND FOR YOUR FEATURE PRESENTATION
STARRING PAULY SHORE AND STEPHEN BALDWIN
Holy shit, let me tell you about the goddamn Bio-Dome. It's amazing.
The real-life Bio-Dome was called Biosphere 2. It was run by an aging rich hippie named John Allen, who preferred to go by the name Johnny Dolphin.
HIGHLIGHTS OF BIOSPHERE 2'S FIRST TWO YEAR MISSION:
-All the insects in the dome died.
-Except the cockroaches. This is not conducive to a healthy ecosystem.
-To fix things, they added lots of ants.(?)
-This resulted in lots of ants and cockroaches.
-The ecosystem was pretty fucked up by the end.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SECOND TWO YEAR MISSION:
-It was aborted after six months.
-This was because someone purposely contaminated the mission by forcing an outside door open.
-The culprits were two scientists from the first mission.
Once again, real life proves more entertaining than Pauly Shore.
|The Mothership |
Let's go out to the lobby.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Oh, no! We're being attacked by Raisinets!
Careful through the deadly Cola fields!
Look out! The deadly Twizzler Wall!
We're being bombed by popcorn! WATCH OUT! Phew, that was a close one!
Well, there were a few close calls there, but it looks like Supertrain got us to our movie.
Shittiest golden saucer ride ever.
This will be so much more entertaining when they change the graphics to reflect reality. Of course, they'll have to fly a giant video disc past another video disc, and you won't really be able to see the giant cola tanks as they pass beneath you, but that's advancing technology for you.
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