misterbuns 
Those sacraments are so silly.
The only magic spell you need to know is " i accept jesus christ as my personal lord and savior"
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The Head of John the Baptist
"When you left the Church, Mother cried and said it would make you sound like you were proselytizing over a landline."
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Jet Bin Fever
That Satan voice is hilarious.
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chumbucket
When "salvation" gets used this much I find myself just tuning out. Kind of like when I try to read the bible.
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jangbones
What are the differences between any religion and a hate group?
Seriously, I don't know.
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dead_cat One is still more socially-acceptable than the other.
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MrBuddy While hate groups do exist, it's been used so loosely it's become a means of labeling any group you don't like, ironically causing hate in people who sincerely want to end hate. Usually what I hear is the two-wrongs-make-a-right fallacy. "I hate [group you don't like] because they hate [group you do like]." The problem is two-wrongs-make-a-right can be used to justify any action. For example, "She would have eaten my lunch so it's OK to eat hers." or "A convicted murder killed an innocent person so it's OK to execute the murder." or "Someone killed women and children in our the US so it's OK to bomb unarmed women and children in some other country." But as Socrates said 2300 years ago, "One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do an injustice."
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cognitivedissonance
I've never been a fan of conditional salvation. If Jesus is God, and God is perfect and never wrong, why would he allow himself to die and then have that not finish the job?
Catholics and Americanized Evangelical Pseudo-Calvinists, fuck you all.
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Binro the Heretic
"Oh, wait, you're a woman and according to the religion you chose, we don't have to listen to you. In fact, since you're out here acting like a preacher doesn't that mean death by stoning or in the very least a sound beating from your husband?""
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pastorofmuppets
Catholicism, like Judaism, makes no bones about the fact that it is very old and very weird. Also, the sacraments are based on life cycle events. They're rites of passage.
It's protestantism I never got. It's like protecting your house with a pack of dobermans but removing their teeth and claws. It's all whitewashed walls and youth groups. Where's the blood? Where's the ritual? I mean, if you're going to believe in magic you may as well go the whole hog.
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SteamPoweredKleenex You've apparently never seen some of the Southern Baptist, Pentecostal, or Seventh Day Adventist flavors of Protestantism.
Also, the white walls, shirts, and skin conjure up the phrase "banality of evil" more often than not.
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deadpan
Eh, poor-man's Chick tract.
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MrBuddy That's what I was thinking although it would have been more entertaining with that special brand of crazy unique to Jack Chick.
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