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Desc:It's a teddy bear...that swears and smokes weed! The money prints itself!
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:Family Guy, awful, Seth Macfarlane, TED, wilfred
Submitted:WHO WANTS DESSERT
Date:04/02/12
Views:2260
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Comment count is 64
fedex
god this looks hideous
5 stars for evil
fedex
and call me slow but I just realized this is basically "Paul" with a teddy bear instead of an Alien.

Cena_mark
A teddy bear that sounds just like Peter Griffin. Way to flex your voice acting chops Seth.

Binro the Heretic
He's pretty limited. Brian is just his own voice slightly deeper.

Besides, do you really think this would be any better with decent voice talent? It would probably poison anyone who touched it. No matter what they did in the past or went on to do in the future, they'd always be the person who did the voice for that fucking bear.

Screwtape
He does a decent Paul Lynde

Cena_mark
Obviously better voice talent couldn't save this. Bill Murray couldn't salvage Garfield. I'm just getting at Seth's lack of creativity and effort. Essentially this is Peter Griffin as a bear. This is bearly good enough to pass as a Family Guy cutaway gag.

Cena_mark
Hey Brain, remember that time I pretended to Mark Wahlburg's teddy bear?

fedex
Garfield made $200,804,534 worldwide

RocketBlender
Hahahaha! Bearly good enough! I love you Cena Mark.

Aress
@Fedex: Paul was decent. The trailers tried to make Paul look like a stoner flick which it wasn't. I've read the script for this. It's exactly that and everything else you expect.

subduralhematoma
i had to look it up on IMDB before i believed this wasn't a fake april fool's trailer. seth macfarlane is evil incarnate.
fedex
and youve got an AWESOME name

themilkshark
This irritates me. Ugh, this is going to be a huge hit. Fuck. There's gonna be toys, and controversy over whether it's kid appropriate, and it will air on comedy central with all the profanities dubbed over ALL DAY.


FUCK YOU McFARLANE. YOU'RE HORRIBLE AT THESE THINGS.
BHWW
In a better world, Family Guy would have stayed cancelled back in 2000 and rightfully joined a bunch of other awful prime-time sitcoms in television's graveyard and been forgotten over time, slipping beneath the waters of well-deserved obscurity.
PegLegPete
This is pure, utter, shit. I thought mcfarlane was a little bit above this. Then again I can't really stand Family Guy anymore, or the man's perpetual announcer voice.
jangbones
if you ever want to hate yourself, just think about how much money macfarlane has

plus he has the ability to make whatever project he wants

life is terrible
That guy
AAAAAAARGHHH!!
I ASKED YOU TO START LYING TO ME!!!!!
This is really the topper to everything said above it. He could probably walk into a studio and point to his butt and they'd get him a Line Producer to start budgeting it.

Sudan no1
" I thought mcfarlane was a little bit above this"

Hahaha...... Nope
Triggerbaby
I read this as Todd Macfarlane rather than Seth Macfarlane. That said, the expected of quality would be roughly the same in either case.
Triggerbaby
Jesus Christ my grammar.

fedex
***** phantom fairy stars for your shitty grammar which made me lol

deadpan
And as a final insult the branding of the TED conference is ruined forever.
spikestoyiu
Still looks better than "That's My Boy".
jangbones
Seth MacFarlane and Adam Sandler, together at last! In a new film directed by Uwe Boll!

themilkshark
IT REALLY DOES.

"comedy"

joelkazoo
Dammit, Spike, I wanted to say that!

Cherry Pop Culture
Everything Seth Macfarlane touches means it's crappy
TeenerTot
Supernatural did it right in two minutes.

Also, I like to think there's a multiverse where Seth MacFarlane didn't get famous, and is simply "the funniest guy in the office."
It must be nice in that multiverse.
Meerkat
He would not be the funniest guy in any office if that office were staffed by two or more guys.

Jim Quin
Because these two leads had such great chemistry in the Max Payne movie! Also, there's an alternate universe where Seth McFarlane made it onto that flight on September 11th, 2001.

Caminante Nocturno
There's also an alternate universe where Seth McFarlane is a gritty, crime-solving detective/priest.

Gmork
But sadly, no multiverse where he's talented.

RocketBlender
Who keeps giving him money?!
cognitivedissonance
If it keeps away from the writers for "American Dad", and he just shows up to do voices, it's okay by me. I won't pay to see it, but I'll be quietly watching "American Dad" with the other quiet kids in our quiet and lonely bedrooms.
Binro the Heretic
This past week's episode was weak sauce.

It makes me nervous. "American Dad" is the only thing he's done that I actually like.

Xenocide
American Dad has always been hit or miss. But the fact that there are hits at all makes it light years better than anything else Seth has ever been involved with.

spikestoyiu
Thank God I'm not the only one who enjoys "American Dad". You guys have lifted an enormous weight off of my shoulders.

IrishWhiskey
For whatever reason, American Dad's episodes on religion tend to be their best, while Family Guy gets their most humorless and preachy.

I thought the "white trash name" joke was genuinely funny. Too bad everything else in the trailer looks like crap where the only joke is that something cute is doing something inappropriate. How original.

Spaceman Africa
no
no no no no
Chalkdust
on top of everything else, this movie also stars Mark Wahlberg doing an impression of Mark Wahlberg
Riskbreaker
You never go full Seth Macfarlane
Hank Friendly
well I think this looks pretty good
StanleyPain
Didn't they already try this with "Greg The Bunny" and it was terrible?
candyheadrobot
both that, and this, bear a striking resemblance to Unhappily Ever After's Mr. Floppy. I'd love to curse McFarland, but I gleefully supported him in the original run of Family Guy. I made alot of poor decisions in my youth...

Gmork
I got the Mr. Floppy vibe from this too.

StanleyPain
This makes Family Guy look like carefully nuanced humor.

dead_cat
This makes Greg the Bunny look like Citizen Kane.

dead_cat
It's sound is completely fucked, too.

Xenocide
At long last, Seth Mcfarlane is working in a medium where he can use the word "fuck." Thank god this man is finally being allowed to reach his full potential.


Bonus points for the bear having almost the exact same voice as Peter Griffin. Seth's not even trying anymore.
Rodents of Unusual Size
A lot of people are saying this is going to be like Wilfred but I don't think Seth is smart enough to copy something that actually works.
sosage
Every key on McFarlane's keyboard is bound to ctrl-c. We can expect more than just Wilfred being copied here.

hammsangwich
They only called it Ted because they couldn't call it Fuck!!!!!!!111 apparently.

dairyqueenlatifah
Even the Jack and Jill trailer was more amusing than this.

Oh yes, I went there.
Jet Bin Fever
So, the "plot" is that Marky Mark has a talking anthropomorphic bear and some girlfriend doesn't like it. And uhh, the rest is long-winded poorly conceived "jokes". Did I miss anything?
dairyqueenlatifah
Nope, you got it.

I bet this movie will have at least three "like the time I..." moments, otherwise it will not stand out as a Seth McFarlane production.

Rodents of Unusual Size
What they didn't show in the trailer is he makes a magical wish as a child for his teddy bear to come to life, which he then does, only for this to be the result.

It looks about as realistic as any cartoon he could have written. It's thoroughly unfunny, and cost

Rodents of Unusual Size
more money than all of us have combined. And Seth MacFarlane also got an award for being a humanitarian.


Robin Kestrel
Seth McFarlane is a GENIUS. A goddamn GENIUS.
The God of Biscuits
Fuck this, but at least Seth McFarlane convinced FOX to make a new COSMOS series with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
FABIO
This made back 6 times its budget =O
WHO WANTS DESSERT
I saw it and it wasn't bad. It was basically an R-rated date movie.

Kabbage
My dad, a fairly average 55 year-old man, utterly loved this movie.

Spaceman Africa
69% on Rotten Tomatos is way too high for this
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