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Desc:I don't know if they've been changing his meds lately or something, but Grandpa is on a ROLL
Category:Religious, News & Politics
Tags:christians, Climate Change, Pat Robertson, grandpa moment, everybody listen to me Im not dead yet
Submitted:dead_cat
Date:08/22/12
Views:1504
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Comment count is 28
SteamPoweredKleenex
Funny how the punishments from God tend to hit the sectors of the country that are often quite conservative or in the so-called "Bible Belt."

God has all the ironic accuracy of most suicide bombers.
TeenerTot
Indeed. Given the goegraphic/theocratic connections of this disaster, I have to conclude that god is punishing people who don't believe in gay marriage or evolution.

cognitivedissonance
In fact, the state that just legalized gay marriage and is on the way to legalizing marijuana is having the most mild summer in memory. The only places that are suffering from wildfires are those that harbor Tea Party fanatics! Hooray for Satan's homeland, Washington!

fatatty
There's also a good chance that a hurricane will his the Republican National Convention in Tampa this year. Though I'm sure Christians will only think of the gays, and not the rich man promising to cut benefits for the poor so he can lower his taxes.

SolRo
Theocratic Logic For Dummies;

If natural disaster hits unbelievers, it's because god doesn't like them/they did stuff god doesn't like.

If natural disaster hits believers, it's because they didn't oppose the stuff god doesn't like -enough-, or didn't donate enough to the 700 club, or they weren't REAL believers.

Meerkat
If unbelievers do things you don't agree with and nothing happens, just pretend they don't exist!

Jet Bin Fever
Well, don't forget that the Hebrews were considered God's chosen people, and then went on for 5 millenia of hardship.

oddeye
A shit-ton of praying didn't seem to help all those kids in the dark ages who starved to death, why would it help now?

glasseye
Daught != drought.

Five stars for religious right wing craziness.
STABFACE
If Tampa gets nailed with a hurricane next week does that mean God hates the GOP?
John Holmes Motherfucker
Pat Robertson is still alive because God doesn't want to let this grinning know-it-all into Heaven.
lordyam
im starting to think hes just a horrible muppet that keeps changing voice actors. like when steve whitmore or frank welker doing kermit

SteamPoweredKleenex
He might not be a muppet. This could be a fundie version of "Weekend at Bernies" and they've just got him rigged with strings and animatronics.

Caminante Nocturno
Pat Robertson is still alive because God thinks making Satan put up with him is a bit too much.

Billy the Poet
Thou shalt not increase the atmospheric concentration of carbon in gaseous form. Neither shalt thou do likewise with methane, nor denude the forests of trees. Otherwise thou art on thine own, assholes. I am the LORD.
Vaidency
"You know, somehow in this country we feel that we can ignore the laws of God."

I know. It's like we have something specifically inserted into our constitution that guarantees we owe no loyalty to any particular god. It's weird.
TeenerTot
Fuck you old man. Fuck. You.
Corpus Delectable
I love this guy. LOVE this guy!
Rudy
If God controls the weather, does that make meteorologists his prophets?
Caminante Nocturno
I am enthusiastically hoping that this is just a buildup to his oncoming death.
Riskbreaker
Problem is, Pat probably has like 2 extra forms after he dies.


Nikon
He probably has 998 other masks.

THA SUGAH RAIN
The scary part is that I know people who watch Pat Robertson as their main source of news.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Looks like somebody hasn't been imploring St. Peter hard enough!
SteamPoweredKleenex
I think only dust and shame would result if Pat tried doing that.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Robertson, one month from now on Good Morning America:

"Waaah! I'm the Lindberg baby! Goo goo! I want my fly fly dada!"
memedumpster
Sir James Frazer wrote about Christians of his time putting statues of the Saints in dried up fields as a punishment to God for not making it rain. It amused him greatly.
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