Stars for the scary audio glitch. Everyone is talking in chorus.
Whoops, my kid thinks Nintendo is crack. Damn you, game pushers!
So what's the issue with the parents here?
If the parents are complaining about rampant consumerism and commercialism demanding their child buy the Super Nintendo, good for them.
If they're complaining because you can't cram the new 16-bit cartridges in the old 8-bit toaster slot, and therefore have to go out and buy a whole new system (for twice as much!), they're fucking stupid. That's like complaining because you can't shove a music CD in the Apple IIGS 3.5" floppy add-on.
|Innocent Bystander |
I'm sorry, what exactly was the point?
BREAKING NEWS: New product costs money.
So, was the issue the price? Violence? Not enough of an improvement over the NES? What are you upset about?
I remember a lot of people were upset because the old cartridges didn't go into the new system. Because once you buy the new system, you're forced to destroy the old one.
I am a proponent of backwards compatibility and the SNES was supposed to be backwards compatible but it was scraped late in the design due to it driving the unit price unreasonably high in their minds.
I learned that on the 8-4 Play podcast recently.
Kent Shocknek's torso has been fused with the little F-Zero car. They are one in the same now. Kent Shocknek's old life is over.
No, Kent! Don't attempt that jump! You can't make it in reverse! Kent, you still have so much to live for!
Kent was clearly not worthy of the gift bestowed upon him. Such is the fate of all who fail to attain Nintependence.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Don't give away the ending to Super Mario World, you dipshits! And could you have found a WORSE player for F-Zero? Jesus Christ, the lack of professionalism in this clip is infuriating!
|Miss Henson's 6th grade class |
The news lady borrowed Jem's totally outrageous haircut.
|Sudan no1 |
Kent SHOCK NECK
|Dread Pirate Roberts |
The parents/media were a bit stupid with this, but remember back in the day, Nintendo was a bastard of a company. That 80% market share they mentioned? They used it to push other competitors into bankruptcy, and would bully stores to only carry their products. Looking back on it with rosy-colored glasses might make you forget. In the 80s and early 90s, they were the big bully on the street. Now they just make you waive shit around.
The book "Game Over" by David Sheff provides an excellent account of all this. Nintendo was a Japanese company attempting to enforce Japanese business practices in an American marketplace.
|The God of Biscuits |
|Billy the Poet |
Fuck Kent. Someday I might have to explain to my kids that a woman went on television with that haircut. She looks like Rogue from a Liefeld comic.
Her hair. And repeatedly showing the wrong controller. And Kent.
"BREAKING NEWS: PARENTS CAN'T TELL THEIR CHILDREN NO AND THINK THAT COMPANIES SHOULD REDUCE THE PRICE OF THEIR PRODUCTS BECAUSE OF THIS"
Those were the days, when 0 for a new console that included everything you needed to play, and a game, was considered expensive, and anything labeled as a game console that was over that price (Jaguar, CD-I, 3DO) just ended up failing altogether because no one in their right mind was going to consider buying it.
Now it's like "Our new console is going to be 0 basic, 0 pro with the bells and whistles, and no games or modern video hookups included. And you're going to buy it anyway, BITCH."
Actual Conversation I had not too long ago.
Me: "Where's your 360, man?"
My Buddy Seth: "I had to send it off to get repaired again, its got the 'Red Ring of Death'."
Me: "No shit, that sucks man."
My Buddy Seth: "Yeah, I'm on my 3rd X-box 360 this year."
Me: "... you're on the what now?"
Not to mention that due to inflation, 0 for the SNES in 1991 is about the same as the 9 for the basic XBox 360 in 2005.
I still use a 25-year-old Commodore 64 and an Amiga 1200 that has to be nearly 10 years old.
Both of them have upgrades available that make it possible to play games without disks, using memory cards that hold almost all available games.
I'd like to see an XBox do that! And by that, I mean surviving 20 years and then running the games of a holo-stick or whatever's going to be the craze in that time.
Oh wait, it's 2012, not 2002. The Amiga's got to be like 17 years old. I'm getting too old for this.
Someone's original Xbox might survive that long, but there isn't going to be a functioning 360 left that's sitting in anyone's house being used right now that far in the future.
I just want to go back in time to plead with the parents not to buy Sonic the Hedgehog for their children if they have any sort of personality disorder.
Hey, SquareSoft didn't become dangerous until FFVII.
Those sprites were good at obscuring the terrible truth.
You return to the future.
Chris-Chan never stayed socially retarded by spending his life playing Sonic. Now he has built his own moon that is at war with humanity and is armed with his own self-lubricating sex bots.
Nerds built their own self-lubricating sex bots to help Earth, but they went rogue and formed their own faction, intent on destroying the humans AND the Chris-Chan sex bots and taking over Earth/Moon-Two for themselves. Now it's humans vs. nerd sex bots vs. Chris-Chan sex bots.
Now are you happy?
You've been reading my Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow DieselPunk crossover fan-fic again, haven't you?
|Jet Bin Fever |
Buying my brothers and I an SNES was one of the best things my parents ever did growing up.
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