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Desc:One of my favorite local ministry commercials.
Category:Religious, Advertisements
Tags:Jesus, ACTING!, second coming, say what?, question mark
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Comment count is 23
The Riddler's videotaped threats to the city have gotten more and more abstract.

wrong number
"The sun and moon will darken, the stars will fall from the sky, the power of the heavens will be shaken, the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, the tribes of the earth will mourn, they will see the Son of Man coming in the clouds of heaven. And he will send his angels to gather his elect from the four winds.

This generation will not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. Matthew 24:29-34
"Jesus is coming!"


"Jesus is coming!"


"Nobody knows! Are you ready?"

I hate houseguests who can't arrive on a damn schedule. THE BROWNIES AREN'T FINISHED YET
A disturbing proof that, when it comes to humans, a random reward with an infinite interval works the same as one with an actual payoff.

After scratching his chin in thought, Mr. Maurice Wayne answered the woman, "I am not ready. I feel I need more time to think about this. Thank you for calling me about the news that Jesus is coming between now and infinity years from now. Goodbye."
Well, technically he's coming sometime within the span of a human lifetime about 2000 years ago.

My personal theory is that the Resurrection was the exact moment when he gave up. If somebody promised to serve your life sentence in prison for you and you saw them 3 days later at the grocery store, would you really assume that they'd followed through with the plan?

Good thing I expatriated to Agartha a few months ago. This is out of your jurisdiction, Christ!
Jet Bin Fever
Jesus is going to be pretty pissed off if he visits my house.
She doesn't work for a church or anything. She just likes calling people and listening as they take stock of their lives. Every tenth call ends in sobbing and some sort of confession of a horrible misdeed. Then the blackmail starts.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I would just keep interrupting myself with other voices and act like nothing happened to convince her I was possessed by a demon.

Billy the Poet
Then... you'd better let him out?
No phone number or contact info of any kind are needed.
The Mothership
Rodents of Unusual Size
I am picturing him saying in the same non-acting voice "Then! You'd better! Pull out!"

Okely dokely

I mean seriously, what the fuck does "soon" mean if it can involve waiting 2000 years. Why the fuck didn't I immediately find all of this fucking stupid?
Rodents of Unusual Size
The irony is delightful.

"God says no one has any idea when Jesus is coming back. But Jesus is coming back real soon. Get ready!"

um uh


Quick, look busy..
Looks like she's calling him from the exact same room.
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