I love the general whose head looks to have been photoshopped in from National Geographic.
I remember hearing about this Legendary Turd.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Looks like shit, sounds like shit, plays like shit.
We were too busy pasting lion heads unto human bodies to put music in the game.
If you remember this than your childhood was terrible!
|Kid Fenris |
Kids, I know you wanted a Super Nintendo with StarFox and all that, but this is the same thing, only BETTER.
My favorite thing about the Jaguar is how it had four times the processing power of the Super NES, yet all of its games looked significantly worse.
I like how the loading music does a bait and switch... with itself.
Does the strategy guide just say: "Never stop firing"?
If you told me this was a freeware project assembled by a highschooler in his spare time I'd still ridicule him for not bothering to include music in the levels or come up with a better name for the protagonist than "Trevor McFur."
Also, I want to perhaps drop a spoiler and more importantly harm your mind if you suffered until the end:
By pointing out the final boss is in fact a butt-plug.
This was the Jaguar's sole launch title.
A friend of mine got a Jaguar and it came with Kasumi Ninja, I'd never heard of this game before I found this video (by googling "worst Jaguar game").
What is the story behind this ridiculous game system with only the most terrible games?
Has been console market dominating company wishes to reclaim glory, throws a lot of money at a bunch of people who don't know what they're doing, leaving no money to give to third party developers, or really any money to pay worth a shit first party developers, so instead they paid some guys in a room at their offices to churn out low budget overnight shit games and spend the rest of the money on a false advertising campaign that consisted of people literally screaming at you "OUR SYSTEM IS MORE POWERFUL THEN THE ONE YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW! SO IT'S BETTER! SO BUY IT!"
This all effectively killed said company, reducing their name from the biggest name in the business to a mere brand label for a toy company's DS shovelware.
Seriously the worst controllers ever, worse than Atari 5200. There was a a membrane keypad with at least a dozen buttons, and you were supposed to swap out different membranes for different games, for starters. It was basically like a Genesis controller with the numeric keypad that shipped with Star Raiders for Atari 2600 glued onto it, except less comfortable.
But the Doom port was better than the SNES one, so at least it had that. A friend of mine got this and I blame it for his slide into becoming a complete fuckup who was partially disowned by his family and married a woman 25 years older than him who refuses to work to help support her children from a previous marriage.
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