|SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-06-01 |
For a guy who says he's "not a Star Trek fan," Abrams sure seems to cram a shitload of references from the old series' into these movies.
While I find the idea of shuffling previous ideas around to make new takes on a given story (going for the alt-u thing), it eventually has to stand on its own. I don't think that's ever going to happen at this rate.
Are you saying the writers of the Transformers movies are not up to the task?
Haven't seen this flick yet, but the first movie was almost a direct copy of Transformers with ships instead of robots.
Main character is the descendant of an explorer captain. He stops to admire and dream about his future ride. He wants the dream ride to get a gorgeous girl but is blocked by jerk jocks. Villains from a destroyed world arrive seeking an object that was meant to save but can be used to destroy. Humans are tipped off to the bad guys by a masked signal only a specialist can recognize. Prick authority figures detain main character. Include tons of NONONONONONONONONO running around comic filler scenes. Villain is defeated when object is turned against him to self destruct.
|Urist - 2013-06-02 |
I was very bored during this movie.
Are we ever going to get a new trek where Kirk is on the bridge for most of the movie and Scotty is in engineering? Is Scotty being anywhere but the enterprise going to be a running gag?
Also... fuck you Kirk... you want the stupid torpedoes on board YOU sign for the fucking things.
|kingarthur - 2013-06-02 |
I had fun with it. It's a pretty bubblegum and cotton candy kind of film. I had to willfully turn off the thinking parts of my brain to have fun with it though. If you don't mind doing that for a little over 2 hours, go for it.
What we need is a new Trek tv series anyway... on board the Enterprise, post-Kirk.
I don't know. After the movies, I'm almost hoping they get a REAL reboot, like BSG, making Star Trek be about our era's future, and not the 1960's-70's idea of the future.
The closest they came to it was the final season (minus the finale) of Enterprise. The stories were good, the writing was decent, and the shows were 2-3 part arcs, but... it still had the crappy can't-act cast.
Nikon: A few caveats:
1. They need a head writer. Fuck this jazz of letting whoever wants to write a goddamn episode that could be about any sci-fi setting. Characters need arcs, events need to develop, and stand-alone stories that have nothing to do with anything need to become few and far between.
2. The whole cast doesn't have to be in every episode. I know there are contracts and shit, but you can always tell when Counselor Troi or some other unimportant character had to be shoe-horned into an episode because they have to get X number of lines per season. It's even worse in the movies.
3. Reconsider the TNG/DS-9 era setting. Why? Because they had too much goddamn technology running around. Seriously, if they'd actually figured out how half of the stupid "this almost killed everyone" gizmos they discovered worked, humanity could kick Q's ass and make him our gimp. Even as it is, they've got godlike tech that they don't use in any reasonable manner. F'rinstance, transporters have been shown to cure just about every disease and even reverse the aging process. Humans should be immortal, or at least re-constructable from their transporter patterns. Whoopsie, did the captain die? Just beam up a new one, no problem.
And these are just the three biggies that bug me most. There are many, many more. That's one reason I think the whole thing needs a restart. The only reason to call it "Star Trek" is to make people give it a chance, since it should bear little resemblance to classic Trek beyond the Federation and some of the initial black box tech like warp drive. If people insist on keeping it in the same universe, either the Federation needs some kind of serious setback that takes a lot of the space magic away from their starship crews, or Trek is going to turn out even more facepalmingly lame than the Star Wars expanded universe.
I think this is as good a time as any to mention this website:
Homepage of a budding science-fiction show writer/producer that is basically Wolf: TAS as envisioned by a PBS fetishist. He's got a solid business plan and a couple science-fiction shows drafted out in his head, now all he needs now is money/ actors/ somebody to care about his vision! Riveting essays, including "Proof that Hollywood isn't that important", "The Thrill of Illinois (Where my show would be produced) ", and a rather depressing list of actors who died before they had a chance to star in his hypothetical science-fiction show. Also includes the single most exhaustive episode-by-episode critical analysis of Star Trek: Enterprise on the web. As for you, Kleenex, I think you should read "Proof a Large Cast can work", wherein our hero PROVES that science-fiction shows need every episode to be about every character on the ship. No faceless extras here!
I'd be totally up for a new Star Trek television series, but only if they put FirstTVDrama Guy in charge.
Isn't turning away from self-contained episodes and into dramatic character arcs what started sinking the franchise in the first place?
That's like saying X-Files needed more UFO conspiracy episodes instead of monsters of the week *frowny*
|StanleyPain - 2013-06-02 |
I saw this about 4 days ago and walked out of the theater just dumbfounded.
They spent so much effort in the 2009 ST film trying to basically kickstart the new ST into a canon for itself that was relatively free of the original series and they just totally took so many steps backwards in Into Darkness. The first one was not a masterpiece or anything, but it seemed like it genuinely wanted to break away from the old ST, so it's especially mindblowing just how.....awful this movie is. It goes through so much effort to attach itself to everything it possibly can from the original ST (including this awful storyline to re-introduce Khan) that in the end it's the most silliest thing ever.
I mean, the original Wrath of Khan, even if you think it's overrated, was at least a relatively smart movie and didn't devolve into cheesy action movie cliches. Into Darkness ends with a fucking FISTFIGHT. A street chase and a FISTFIGHT. That's the ending.
All that aside, the Half In The Bag episode about it is much better than this sort Plinkett thing.
Sillier than Nemesis' ripoff Khan ending? If Khan was The Enemy Below, then Nemesis was an even dumber version of Independence Day.
I found the campiness to be par for the original. Space Seed ended with blunt force trauma with a metal object too.
It could have at least been a space fistfight. Like where Spock is fighting Khan and he grabs like a bottle of wine only it's SPACE WINE so the bottle is neon metal or something and he uses that as a club and Khan is like "A VERY GOOD VINTAGE!" and Spock is like "Technically, it is not wine, it is Romulan Ale, you have assessed it's contents incorrectly" and keeps wailing on Khan (who is super-human, but apparently vulnerable to Vulcans only). Then Khan runs into a Starbucks but it's a futuristic SPACE STARBUCKS so everyone is drinking weird green-colored coffee or something and talking about "The Splembulator's have been improperly calibrated" and then there's a sight gag the coffee is actually supposed to be bright neon blue (cuz it's space coffee, see) and the green means it was made wrong, but anyway they keep fighting and Spock is all "I have assessed that you are harder to defeat than a certain robot I knew called NOMAD at three dimensional chess!" and Khan is like "Oh, I am going to be MUCH harder to defeat!! Even harder than THE BORG, and you don't even know who I am talking about, do you??? HAHAHAHAHA" and Spock comes back with "A CERTAIN CAPTAIN PICARD TOLD ME TO WATCH OUT FOR YOU!" Khan's like "WHO???" and then Spock defeats him by saying "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, BIOTCH!" and every sort of looks funny at Spock cuz they're like "What, he's a Vulcan that's odd what's a biotch" and then the whole crew of the Enterprise have tribbles at the end and Kirk says "To infinity and beyond. Warp 6, Mr. Sulus" and he says "I have a bad feeling about this." and they all laugh and the credits roll.
|glasseye - 2013-06-02 |
Deus Ex Tribble.
|memedumpster - 2013-06-02 |
I refuse to judge this movie, it was a fun summer action flick. I saw it the second time in 3D and it was fucking better. BETTER. 3D MADE ME LIKE IT MORE.
Get away from me.
I saw it in 3D, and I thought it was pretty good. There were a lot of plot holes, the acting was adequate at best, and that chase sequence at the end, boy was I complaining about THAT at Buffalo Wild Wings afterwards (the waitress agreed with me).
But it was a fun movie all the same. This apparent backlash against it kind of reminds of me this:
The more things change, right?
I found that chase scene, before the tweest when I thought shit had gotten all real, to be one of the finest moments in a Star Trek movie. I really do appreciate that Reboot Trek does something that Star Trek absolutely hated doing in all incarnations : showing life on Planet Earth.
I think I am just learning to relax about movies really, I'm getting old.
EvilHomer, thinking of someone with buffalo wing sauce all over their mouth, complaining about Star Trek while a waitress slowly backs away going "Uh huh!" really made me laugh.
I had called the tweest way before the movie came out, I just wish they showed a hint of cojones and saved everything after the Trimble twitching for the next movie to at least pretend that they were willing to take a risk.
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