Points to schlong!

face transplant?

i saw this earlier today, the preload totally got me.

I'm OK with this.

If there's ever someone you'd want to get dating advice from, its definitely a 40 year old single woman

She chokes up like she's going to cry a few times. Weird.

The only penis jokes left are jokes about average wieners. Big cock jokes and tiny cock jokes have been done to death.

I've done some "I'm bragging about my average-size penis" schtick when it seems like the right time at drunken parties. My friends tend to think it's hilarious when well-phrased or well-timed, but with acquaintances or strangers, the variety of reactions are truly astounding.

They react with everything from the occasional "I see what you did there" laughing with me when I use it to puncture someone else's self-aggrandizement; to laughing at me in a sort of "sucks, to be you, brah" kind of adolescent way; to revulsion or embarrassment for me, like "Oh My God, how could someone admit that, and WHY?" Sometimes it's just non-specific laughter.

But most often, there's a sort of generalized response: the guys ALL act like "Dude, I'm slangin' an ocho, easy" and the girls ALL act like "Who wants to settle for average?". And then they drink more, and a few median guys go home with a few median girls, while the rest save it for the bikini model or horsecock billionaire that society promised them.

I recommend running this experiment at parties when appropriately drunk and bored.
It is most choice.

What I'd like women like "ya" to do is wear a t-shirt that says "I require a cock like two coke cans glued end-to-end or absolute devotion to my pleasure. Actually, both." and then we can skip the whole trudge to the part where you request that I declare my genital dimensions over dinner.

You're the one with the fucking fetish requirements so why don't you step up and put your cards on the table first?

My thought process :
"Wow, that kitchen is just soulless, she has no color or decorations. Oh, maybe she made this video in a house she's showing later that day... oh my god, that's her bedroom... no, that plastic thing is probably a couch, not a bed. What the hell is that weird, overlapping, rug looking thing on the left side of the screen? Oh, the video buffer ran out."

Seriously? Harpyish women are still on this tired old complaint?

Size < Skill. Unless she's got a disgustingly cavernous cooch that can only detect penetration with things larger than a breadbox, I guess.

Hey, guys! Here's what women want to hear: how big your penis is, and to be told as quickly as possible. Women are totally going to appreciate how quickly you get to the subject of your penis.

Captain, I'm detecting enormous levels of Botox from the Romulan sector.

Lady, there's no getting around the fact that after pooping out a few kids, your cooter is gonna resemble a catchers mitt. Who's fault is that?

WOMEN AMIRITE FOLKS?!

This woman is presumptuous, to say the least, to think that she speaks for everyone on this. I think most women want to avoid the topic of penises as much as possible.

Wait, guys aren't "do whatever" by default? Oh yeah, I've never had a problem in either of these areas.

Points for saying "video blog" instead of "vlog".