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Desc:You think bad sitcoms and sex plushies are sad and horrifying??
Category:Horror, Educational
Tags:Cow, bovine university, slaughterhouse
Submitted:Mother Lumper
Date:10/22/13
Views:2518
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Comment count is 47
memedumpster - 2013-10-22
SUPERCOW EL RISCA*KA-CHUNK*
SolRo - 2013-10-22
I need a strong drink.
cognitivedissonance - 2013-10-22
Lest we get all PETA about it, there's a 1:1 ratio of things born to things dying, so in the cosmic flow of things it's just as depressingly well.
Nominal - 2013-10-22
Lest we get all Israel about it, all those European Jews were going to die anyway.

cognitivedissonance - 2013-10-22
Thanks to clinical depression, that is a thought I have pretty much on a constant, permanent buzz.

Sometimes I really try to put on a smiley face and I just wind up weeping alone, huddling under my desk and praying for a massive catastrophe so I can just disappear without anybody I love actually missing me. And then I get in the cycle about whether or not anybody actually loves me and it's like three weeks until I can even think coherently.

Over and over and over and over and over.

EvilHomer - 2013-10-22
Lest we get all progressive about it, Jews are essentially the same as cattle.

Nominal - 2013-10-22
Lest you get all pedantic gun nut,...oops never mind.

EvilHomer - 2013-10-22
Yes, I'm sorry, you're right, that was too pedantic of me. Maybe instead of saying that Jews were no better than cattle, you meant to imply that cows are just as important as Jews?

EvilHomer - 2013-10-22
P.S. if cows had the means to fight back, they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

#giveacowaglock

Hooker - 2013-10-22
I want to gang up on Nominal, but I don't want to spend any effort doing it, so please just consider myself on EvilHomer's side here.

Riskbreaker - 2013-10-22
Hey, this was never shown in the ads i saw when i decided to enter bovine university!
cognitivedissonance - 2013-10-22
Yes it was. That was the flipside of the placemat that advertised Hamburger University.

EvilHomer - 2013-10-22
Needs a Bovine University tag.

Hugo Gorilla - 2013-10-22
I feel the same way every time I submit a resume or have a job interview.

Except I'm not knocked out, gutted and butchered after the fact.
Monkey Napoleon - 2013-10-22
Anyone who thinks the cow knows what's going to happen instead of just being frightened by being locked in a chute amidst scary noses obviously hasn't spent any time around cows.
mon666ster - 2013-10-22
I'm sure the loud noises, and the stench of death which no doubt permeates the air, give the cow a pretty good idea of what's going on. But keep telling yourself it's humane to justify it to yourself.

Monkey Napoleon - 2013-10-22
I didn't say it was humane, I said cows don't think. They don't care or consider what it smells like and they can't reason what those noises mean other than maybe "danger". It's afraid, but it would be just as afraid of being loaded into a trailer or being put in a clamp to be examined by a vet. This *seems* depressing because we project our self-awareness onto the cow. Its entire life is a never-ending cycle of "what the fuuccccckkkk is happening". You're talking about an animal that getting its head stuck in things and then breaking it's own neck trying to brute force it's way out is a significant cause of death.

Keep telling yourself there's a humane way to conduct animal husbandry though. If you're uncomfortable watching this video, don't watch it, but don't kid yourself.

Syd Midnight - 2013-10-27
With some animals, pretty much anything you do will result in a great deal of fear and shitting everywhere and running and screaming because they are stupid as fuck and they are right smack in the middle of the food chain so some other animal is going to eat their ass dead or alive.

We're not exempt from nature, free range involves stopping other animals from eating them before we can.

namtar - 2013-10-22
In pure evolutionary terms, cows are very successful as a species due to being domesticated.
American Standard - 2013-10-22
It is literally why they exist.

The weirdest kind of animal right supporters are the ones who simultaneously fantasize about a vegan world and walks in the country communing with friendly barnyard animals that would abruptly go extinct if they actually got their way.

PeTA's always been very careful about that. Their slogans are things like "I am not a nugget," not "Please ensure I am never born."

Too existentially complex, I guess.

Also, speaking as someone who's spent time on a farm, first cow wasn't afraid, second cow was concerned but far from panicked.

Mother Lumper - 2013-10-22
That's what ran through my mind when I saw this. It's that underlying drive of making everything as cheap and efficient as possible to the detriment of a whole lot more.

I'll never stop eating meat, but I wouldn't mind if it was a little more expensive so we all had to eat a little less of it.

Mother Lumper - 2013-10-22
Screwy website, this was meant to be a reply to Jet Bin Fever.

Gmork - 2013-10-22
Lumper, I've always felt that way about meat, and I'm pretty hardcore carnivore.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-10-22
There are better ways of doing this. I don't object to killing an animal to eat it, but I think you could certainly do it in a better way than this.
jaunch - 2013-10-22
Goddamnit I JUST ate a hamburger and now I feel like shit. I've actually gone through several periods in my life of being a vegetarian (and failing due to will power). I am wondering how many others out there have gone through similar periods?
American Standard - 2013-10-22
I attempted veganism out of curiosity for a week.

Anyone who tells you it's not a luxurious first-world privilege to adopt veganism is full of it. And I only attempted the diet, not the insane policing of care products, clothing, and other consumer goods.

glasseye - 2013-10-22
I was vegetarian for ten years. It was easy and not expensive, partially due to being able to get lots of cheap and awesome veggies at the farmer's market (go in the last hour for half price stuff!).

These days we don't eat much meat, and it's nearly all local / pasture raised / etc. It's a bit more expensive, but it tastes far better and the animals have better lives.

baleen - 2013-10-22
I was a vegetarian for 5 years and I don't think it was good for me at all. I've said this to hardcore vegans and vegetarians before, and they usually lecture me like I'm an idiot that doesn't understand the nutritional value of food, like I was "doing it wrong."

I would say I'm 50% carnivore and 50% vegetarian now. If everyone would reduce the amount of meat to no more than a 1-1.5 lbs. a week, I believe the environmental and dietary hysteria over the ridiculous amounts of meat Americans (and their pets) consume would fade into the background. Currently the average is something like 200 lbs. a year. I cannot imagine eating that much meat.

memedumpster - 2013-10-22
The slaughter of plantlife outside of conscience is a sign of true natural bigotry. Some living things we refuse to consider life. I honestly think veganism is a form of delusion combined with laziness over the nature of life and food. It's damned near religious new age disconnection from reality.

jaunch - 2013-10-22
My last time to be vegetarian was after I read the book "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Foer. Basically, it was born out of guilt for how they're tortured before being killed. If you allow yourself to believe, even for a moment, that they have real emotional awareness just like us, I can't see how anyone won't feel just a little guilty about eating meat. I mean there were heart-wrenching stories in that book about the shit the animals go through to save me at the grocery store.

One thing I got all the time from other people was a kind of amused antagonism about it. I'd usually say "Well, why won't you eat a dog or a cat?" and that was usually the end of the argument.

Now, of course I'm a hypocrite-- what with the hamburger earlier. I just wish science would hurry the fuck up with the Star Trek replicators so I can eat "meat" guilt free.

memedumpster - 2013-10-22
But we kill the dogshit out of other animals that feel EXACTLY like we do so as to save a buck at a gas pump. This, somehow, is not controversial.

jaunch - 2013-10-22
Hey now. We can be both against killing humans AND animals, after all.

Syd Midnight - 2013-10-27
Haven't any of you ever spent a week on a farm? When you can witness every cycle of life, from birth to death, on a daily mandatory basis, seen animals born, and killing each other or themselves in some stupid way, you see it as a normal part of life. Compare this to what you've seen happen to zebras and gazelles.

Kid Fenris - 2013-10-22
Heifer whines could be human cries
Closer comes the screaming knife
This beautiful creature must die
This beautiful creature must die
A death for no reason
And death for no reason IS MURDER
Gmork - 2013-10-22
My Fajitas are a damn good reason.

EvilHomer - 2013-10-22
I think what the song means is that vegetarians, because they do not eat, and therefore waste, meat, are murderers.

Also, in the interest of pedantry, I'd like to point out that murder is not defined by lack of purpose. A child may die by getting crushed by a falling prehistoric rock formation; this is a pointless death, but it is not murder. Conversely, one may chop up a hooker and make hats out of her skin; her death serves many purposes - sexual, fashionable, culinary - yet it is still murder.

One wonders what The Smiths were thinking when they wrote those lyrics!

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-10-22
No, Morrissey is a hard-core vegan. I think he took someone to court for throwing a sausage at him during a concert. I guess dead animals are just one more thing he could get depressed about.

StanleyPain - 2013-10-22
Nothing like a good ol' fashioned appeal to emotion to make an extremely vapid point.
BorrowedSolution - 2013-10-22
Appeals to emotion to make extremely vapid points are categorically evil. Allow me to 5-star this properly on your behalf.

Syd Midnight - 2013-10-27
The trick is to mute it and play death metal in the background. If the video suddenly seems less brutal, it's probably not an awful way to die.

Binro the Heretic - 2013-10-22
While I don't approve of cruelty, and make no mistake, this treatment is cruel, I have to say domestic cattle literally exist to be eaten. They were bred specifically for that purpose.

That isn't to say we shouldn't give them a nice comfortable life up until the point they're ready to become filet mignon. I don't much like the way modern agrobusiness works.
pyslexic dharmacist - 2013-10-23
Mmmm, beef marinated in its own shit! That's some genuine down-home Amurican cookin'!

*continues contentedly eating fluffernutter*
Gmork - 2013-10-23
what the fuck is a fluffernutter?

cognitivedissonance - 2013-10-23
Its a sandwich made of peanut butter and marshmallow.

Gmork - 2013-10-24
where the fuck is my fluffernutter?

dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-10-23
So that was death at the very end right? What were they killing the cows with? Anyone know?

I'm pretty ignorant of (modern) slaughtering practices and this video tells me I probably wouldn't be very good at a job in one of these places.
American Standard - 2013-10-25
Yeah, it was dead. If this slaughterhouse is even remotely modern, it was done with a captive bolt gun, which was placed in the center of the cow's forehead and slams a steel rod through its skull and into its brain, essentially killing it before it hits the ground.

If you saw "No Country for Old Men," you saw a portable version of it in action. Death is immediate.

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