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Comment count is 18
yogarfield - 2013-12-04

when i was a kid i had a neighbor who masturbated onto his don't wake daddy. also on his turtle van.

Steebis - 2013-12-04

Well did it wake Daddy?

infinite zest - 2013-12-05

Well I suppose it's safer than masturbating onto the "Operation" guy..

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-05

And he's in jail now, right? I mean, you can't really come back after a thing like that. It's all or nothing.

yogarfield - 2013-12-05

no jail, actually. as for other institutions, no comment. he remains one of my best friends to this day.

Prickly Pete - 2013-12-05

I need more information. Was this on purpose? Like was the Don't Wake Daddy/ Turtle van part of what got him off, or were they just civilian casualties?

Cherry Pop Culture - 2013-12-05

I love you guys

The Mothership - 2015-03-28

This is why I come here, for the banter!

yogarfield - 2013-12-05

if i had to guess, daddy was already awake.

yogarfield - 2013-12-05


Caminante Nocturno - 2013-12-05

The only way into the kitchen is through Daddy's room. Either that, or Daddy's bed is in the middle of the living room.

Sanest Man Alive - 2013-12-05

Daddy's been forced to sleep on the couch since losing one too many games of Don't Rattle Me Bones when Mommy really wasn't in the mood. Sadly, he just thinks she's mad that he keeps losing at Perfection, so he doesn't even think to say Sorry!

Sexy Duck Cop - 2013-12-05

.......there's gotta be a 13 Dead End Drive joke in the midst of all this.

Kid Fenris - 2013-12-05

I wonder if this thing started off as a burglar-themed board game, with the easily awakened daddy clutching a shotgun.

Explodotron - 2013-12-05

Now its time to take a lackadaisical ride on the Back-in-the-Day cycle...

While I was in college, I was hanging out with a good friend named Dan at his mom's house. We had just bought some really shit weed from a kid we met on the MUD that Dan admin'd (Act of War) and decided to get stoned at about 2 am on his porch.

We snuck back inside and raided the kitchen (he got pretzels and I grabbed a box of ice cream bars) and proceeded to sneak upstairs where Dan had a room with TV, Xbox, computer etc. The problem was that Dan's sister and her two toddlers lived there too and the stairs were littered with toys and other kid related detritus.

Being reminded of this game, Dan whispers "Don't wake Daddy!" (which was really funny because a. we were hella high and b. his Dad just left his mom because it turned out he was gay).

The only response I could muster was "By Parker Brothers!" in a very off putting falsetto voice.

We both bursted out laughing, and realizing the jig was up, ran up the stairs. We tripped on every single toy and step on the way up, laughing and screaming and making a general ruckus the entire way up. We jumped into Dan's office and slammed the door shut, waiting to see who was going to wake up and discover our illicit drug use.

No one woke up.

And to this day, I cannot suppress a huge shit eating grin whenever someone mentions Don't Wake Daddy.

By Parker Brothers.

Prickly Pete - 2013-12-06

That story rocked. I don't know if you think that's one of those "You had to be there" moments, but I wasn't there and that story almost made me laugh to tears for some reason. It tickled me just right.

oddeye - 2014-03-12

Yeah, but WTF is the stomping grounds and why do you need an internet username for it? I don't understand.

The Mothership - 2015-03-28

great story.

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