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Desc:Edward picks an unusual opponent for a game.
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:video games, cows, vidja games, AC4, fuck you this game is awesome
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Comment count is 15
Sanest Man Alive - 2014-01-01
I could've sworn "fuck you this game is awesome" had been activated already.
Hooker - 2014-01-01
You have to hand it to EA. They took a game that just sucked balls and managed to grow it into this sprawling series of games that nobody seems to particularly like.
Hooker - 2014-01-01
Nevermind. This is apparently an Ubisoft franchise. Even more impressive!

garcet71283 - 2014-01-01
Its not that any of the games are particularly bad...its just all the dumb scifi crap shoehorned in for no better reason than an explanation of the games HUD and menu system.

If the games were just about Assassins vs Templars throughout history it would have been fine.

StanleyPain - 2014-01-01
I've never played an AC game, but I know a few people who were huge fans of the first two games and as near as I can tell, the general consensus among AC fans is that everything after 2 was pretty shite and badly made, but that Black Flag sort of makes up for it. Yahtzee Crosshaw sort of brilliantly summed it up when he said that Black Flag is cool, but it feels like it's just part of a long line-graph of titles that EA has pre-planned out and that someone keeps stapling more graph paper to the end as they go.

Adham Nu'man - 2014-01-01
The games are pretty bad.

They look great, the historic settings are awesome, the narrative itself has been between average and very good, but gameplay wise they are never any fun, just more like a list of homework you need to do in order to get to the next cutscene. The environments are sprawling, but there is virtually no emergent gameplay.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-01-01
"If the games were about assassins..."

You mean if they were about assassins AT ALL. Jeeze, the Discworld novels create a more compelling view of a career in assassination (or as they'd put it, "inhuming a client") than these games have. You're basically a random killer when the plot isn't involved, and not a very good one at that. Any hint that this might be even remotely related to the stealthy killing of key personas flies right out over the ol' haystack in short order, but they keep the name and silly costume anyway.

Riskbreaker - 2014-01-01
These games are the prototye of the interactive movie crap the industry has become today. As Adham said, no real gameplay, just some minor stuff to do to move from one cutscene to another.

oddeye - 2014-01-02
Yeah but in this one a cow can get in the way of your boardgame.

Hooker - 2014-01-02
I only ever played the first one because the appeal of it was so great. The Sands of Time-style acrobatics gameplay in an open-world setting where you have to assassinate targets? I'm on board!

Then the game turned out to be just agonizing tedium.

Hooker - 2014-01-02
What's most distressing, though, is that the games never seem to try to capture the first game's promise, though. From what little I can gather about the games at all (the advertisements seem very cagey about telling you what the games actually are), they're just Devil May Cry knockoffs.

Adham Nu'man - 2014-01-02
Brotherhood had some "tombs" which were basically short linear levels in the vein of Sands of Time but not quite as brilliant.

Those were good.

There were only 4 or 5 of them.

candyheadrobot - 2014-01-03
@Hooker let's be honest, most modern action games are DMC knock offs.

Hooker - 2014-01-03
Sure. But that's my point.

candyheadrobot - 2014-01-03
From the title, I thought that this was going to have something to do with Yugioh. I heard that they had some Mario Brothers to kill in one installment so...
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