I loved broccoli when I was a kid. It was like eating little trees!
most hate of broccoli is actually hate of terrible overcooking
I've managed to overcome most of my childhood trauma over food. I even love lima beans now. I can't get around most varieties of autumn squash and I still have a lot of neuroses surrounding pineapple on fucking pizza.
I don't understand people who flat out cannot each vegetables. How do you crap?
Interesting factoid: Seth Green provided the motion capture performance for the kid, but they overdubbed his voice with a younger actor's because he sounded too old. You can still see his body language, though.
No cat on Earth would eat broccoli.
Nothing says "great direction" than a bunch of medium shots.
|The Mothership |
Is that the voice of Joan Cusack?
This is one of those movies that went mysteriously under-advertised. It had huge ass budget (0 million) from a huge ass studio (Disney) yet even today most people I know never heard of this film. Hell, I never heard of it until a year or two after it came out, when I by chance saw it on a "biggest box office bombs" article.
I've never watched it so I can't really comment on it's quality, though it does have that totally creepy uncanny valley thing going on, like The Polar Express did, and the non-human characters are horrifying even more so. Never the less, had this film gotten more exposure through advertising, I have no doubt it would have bombed significantly less.
Seems to be the kind of project studio execs just throw money at without even knowing what they are doing. Then they realize what they have done, and try to hide their shame as hard as they can.
...why was this fucking thing even CGI? Did they really think people would enjoy the movie more if it were acted out by a bunch of glassy-eyed corpses and a weirdly weightless camera?
THE MAGICAL WORLD OF DISNEY PRESENTS: MOTION-CAPTURED VOMITING CAT
So let's run this down:
2010: Prince of Persia
2011: Mars Needs Moms
2012: John Carter
2013: The Lone Ranger
What will Disney piss away a hundred million bucks on this year?
Worldwide net (according to figures on IMDB):
Prince of Persia 5M
Mars Needs Moms -8M
John Carter M
The Lone Ranger M
Of the four you listed, Mars Needs Moms is the only one that could be fairly described as pissing away anything.
Personally, I'm *really* looking forward in two years to Star Wars 7 being as bad or worse than the prequels yet making 0M opening weekend because Star Wars. Rumors will start flying, it will sound like it might actually be cool for awhile, and people will go see it because they have learned nothing.
I'll be seeing it, because Star Wars.
Napoleon: Net never includes a film's ad budget, and Lone Ranger and John Carter both had marketing campaigns which cost upwards of 0 million.
So Prince of Persia is the only one of the lot that MIGHT have actually turned a profit.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Plus, I hate to be shallow but John Carter was terribly miscast in my opinion. The male lead had no charisma at all and in the book was arrogant and kind of had a Bruce Campbell thing going on. Very full of himself all the time, so if they hadn't tried to downplay that and had fun with it, it might have not sucked nearly as much as it did. Which just goes to show you can have an awesome idea (it was) and throw tons of money at it (they did) but put a terrible actor in the middle of the fray (hello, Hayden Christensen and his heir in John Carter whose name I can't even remember and can't bother to even look up on imdb because you were so forgettable I don't even want to be reminded of you) and you will have a ruined product.
This entire script seems utterly devoid of any kind of humor. It's like they got the hackiest writers that ever wrote juvenile fiction, pooped out a watered down version of John Carter, tried to make it appeal to the Goosebumps set (dumb children) and gave the aliens a truly weird but not in a good way look. I think it's the cross of styles between cute and weird and "buttlike" but the shape of their heads disturbs me.
It just doesn't have the same dialogue on par with their other projects. It's just dull. I'm shocked no one noticed it before. Again, the protagonist is NOT INTERESTING. His mother isn't interesting. Even the cat vomit isn't interesting and the fat fumbling spaceship dude sure as fuck wasn't interesting. You have no momentum to the plot or reason to watch it.
Bloom County was the most brilliant newsprint comic strip of all time.
Holy shit though did Brethed's work exponentially get crappier with each comeback. It seems like his work got worse and worse the more he made it about parenthood.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Every attempt at a joke in this clip just made me sneer with contempt.
|Jet Bin Fever |
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