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Desc:A human being, a child of Adam blessed with reason and intellect, thinks Dexter is the better show
Category:Classic TV Clips, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:dexter, the escapist, Breaking Bad, the event horizon of nerd culture, white males
Submitted:Sexy Duck Cop
Date:02/27/14
Views:1173
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Comment count is 22
SolRo
Outraged fanboy
Sexy Duck Cop
Outraged fanboys.

TheOtherCapnS
Title, description, and tags are worth five
baleen
Who wants to place a bet that these guys are the insufferable shitstains in your film class or writing workshop that will not shut up, who's every criticism is a dagger of pain in the side of your ears, and who's faces you frantically doodle in your notebook surrounded by firing guns, emptying poison bottles and exploding explosives?


Gmork
Dexter sucks!
William Topaz McGonagall
"Dexter is required viewing because you have to watch it."

Reason and intellect, you say?
William Topaz McGonagall
Also I kept trying to think of who the guy arguing for Dexter reminds me of and I just realized he looks like that guy from Half in the Bag only fat and with bell's palsy

Prickly Pete
For some reason up until starting the video I kept reading that as "Dexter's Lab," which would have been an even more surreal discussion.
That guy
I made it 0:16.
This atrocious creature has the charisma of an ochre jelly.
I did not have the courage to witness the horrors of the second creature. I fled back to town.
yogarfield
:07 here.

FABIO
I liked the first two seasons of Dexter, and now I'm determined to watch it all the way through because I need to see how low the rabbit hole goes.

Season 3: low point
Season 4: Moderately better thanks to Jon Lithgow
Season 5: Should have gone back to awesome thanks to no more Rita, but not only do they immediately throw in a substitute for her (negating the whole point of getting rid of her), but it's a repeat of the whole BFF angle from season 3: the single worst part about the worst season.
FABIO
What really bugs me about the show's progression? They totally whitewashed Dexter's character. I had totally forgotten about it, but I rewatched the first two episodes and he used to horribly torture his victims, cutting them up alive! You were on edge because he was a frightening character. A true serial killer who killed because he had a compulsion to, kept in check only by his father's code giving him proper outlets. His message to every serial killer victim was, "I understand you, but I need to kill and you're it." The entire show was all about a frightening character with no emotion outside of murder keeping up his facade around his coworkers. The only reason for other characters to exist was for Dexter to react to them.

But then the cat lady viewers who writer love letters to serial killers took over, wanting to live vicariously through Rita and "change" Dexter into their ideal man. Suddenly Dexter cleanly dispatched his victims with a single stab to the heart, all dismembering taking place entirely off camera. He stopped being a serial killer and became a run of the mill vigilante. In the first season he picked his targets based on cold case records. In every subsequent season, he chose his targets based on the pleading puppy dog eyes of their victims' family members.

Suddenly he had FEELINGS and every other character got their own subplots involving their FEELINGS (even fucking Masuka!). Harry wasn't needed for the story to explain Dexter's origin anymore, but the actor had a contract so they started including him as Ghost Dad and now the whole show is just a lame procedural cop drama meets vigilante Wonder Years mess.

FABIO
Breaking Bad is great though!

The scene opening with an extreme closeup of what you think is meth pulling out to reveal margarita ice is one of my favorite transitions of all time.

Cena_mark
I agree Breaking Bad >>> Dexter. I only watched the 4th season of Dexter and though it was pretty good, I've heard it had too many downs for me to have carried on with the show.
You talk about how he used to torture his victims and how he stopped which really makes the rolls and rolls of plastic he uses really unnecessary. Really since he just became a normal vigilante then he could just use a gun.

Sexy Duck Cop
"now I'm determined to watch it all the way through because I need to see how low the rabbit hole goes."

YES. Do this. Dexter jumps the shark harder than any TV show I've ever seen. By the end of the final season, it's not so much bad TV as the fever dream of a stroke victim who is also bad at making TV shows.

As you mentioned, Dexter's character is rapidly watered down to absolve him of any consequences, moral or otherwise. His killings are neat, his enemies cartoonish, and by the end even his victims are tearfully telling Dex he's the best person in human history and the world owes him nothing but its awe.

And he never learns a goddamned thing. Ever. Even though pretty much every season ends with Dexter saying "You know what? I learned something today. I can't have a brother/girlfriend/friend/mentor/girlfriend/mentor/mentor/gay friend/sister/surrogate mother figure/Zac Effron/girlfriend. My life is just too dangerous." He is the most naive, trusting serial killer in human history.

The subplots become cancerous. They grow and multiply and sprawl across the show like spongy tumors in pastel polo shirts. Characters and stories show up only to mysteriously vanish. People forget enormous events the way Metal Gear guards relax after exactly 90 seconds.

Space and time break down. In one scene, a person knocks on Dexter's front door. He opens it and says "We can't be seen in public!!!! Come inside." Then Dexter shuts the door and WALKS OUTSIDE.

Season 6 is the worst. It's boring, stupid, and pointless. Tom Hanks' son is the big bad. The season's theme is "religion," and it's handled as elegantly as you'd expect.

Season 7 has a deceptively strong start, so at first you're thinking the show caught its second wind. Then about halfway through they kill off its extremely compelling villain so we can have three episodes where Dex twirls in circles trying to catch a lame 11th-hour baddie instead.

Season 8 is the greatest aesthetic work of all time. I could describe it to you, but it'd be faster to just read Aristotle's Poetics.

Nominal
Oh god, the pointless subplots. DEAR WRITERS, THE OTHER CHARACTERS ONLY EXIST FOR DEXTER TO FAKE NORMALCY IN FRONT OF!

Having a subplot where comic relief pervert Masuka is sad because everyone hurt his feelings...jesus christ.

The internal affairs cop who harasses Deb into informing on Quinn (aka Robert Patrick 2.0), shows up to lay down empty threats for half a season, some pointless backstory on Quinn that goes nowhere, then disappears forever. I swear she was only thrown in because the actress was banging a producer for the part.

Angel's (aka Detective Fedora) painful to fucking watch love life. Ex wife we don't care about. Vice detective with psychotic trust issues (who goes nowhere and breaks up between seasons). Lieutenant Laguerta which is totally out of character but they needed more wacky drama hijinks to mine.

Deb's never ending parade of men bringing out her self-destructiveness. Look, writers, you did this in season 1 because it was important for the serial killer plot. Season 2...I guess? I'll give that a pass since season 2's A plot was so strong. Everything after that was just pointless mimicking.

R.I.P Doakes. Killing him off was the stupidest move they ever made.

(seriously why did Doakes bother going to Haiti with the blood slides? What did he need to confirm? Why couldn't he have just told someone or handed them over in the states? Why couldn't he have them tested on the down low at a lab in the states? Even if he could only do it in Haiti, why did he leave the slides in his car at the Miami airport instead of taking them with him? His plan was: leave slides, travel to Haiti, find out if they could test the slides, travel back to Miami, grab the slides, travel back to Haiti, test them, travel back to Miami with the news???)

Sexy Duck Cop
What's your favorite horrible Dexter subplot? I've got a couple.

1) Masuka's daughter. She appears halfway through the last season out of nowhere as a long-lost sexy twentysomething who shows up for one minute and 45 seconds of every episode. She says exactly one or two things per episode, and since they're all insane nonsense, her entire character arc consists of: cheese sandwich, not a con artist, tits, feung shui, weed, diet coke.

2) Quinn and the Sergeant's exam. For weeks, Quinn and Angel make a big deal about how Quinn is ready to become sergeant and all he has to do is test well on the exam. We see preparation. Debates. Talks about the future. For like five episodes. And then he doesn't get the job. It goes to a completely inconsequential character we never see or hear from again.

3) Dexter kills an innocent man. Never brought up again.

4) Dexter adopts Zac Effron, implicitly to molest him. Toward the end, there's a tease that Dexter is going to train this sexy young serial killer to be his replacement, and I guess he kinda does for like half an episode, but before he can be of any consequence the Melon Baller scoops out his brains.

5) Dexter kills an innocent man. Never brought up again.

6) Quinn is suspicious of Dexter. Spends all of Season 5 convinced Dexter is Dexter, sends Robocop after Dexter, stops thinking Dexter is Dexter when Dexter throws away his shoes or something. It was retarded.
Nominal
All the stuff I mentioned above. The romances between cops were all the most painful things to sit through. Deb & Quinn, Angel and vice detective, but especially all the contrived drama of Angel and Laguerta. The subplot of the IA cop harassing Deb was probably the most pointless. She shows up half a dozen times to pressure her into becoming an informant, Deb says "no" half a dozen times. THE END NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

I'd have to say the season 5 subplot about the machete killer brothers. Just for how glaringly contrived it was. "We must grab them while they're outside the night club. To do this we will station all our people inside the club, for no reason. We will only have 4 people inside to arrest 2 armed and dangerous suspects, for no reason. I, Lieutenant Leguerta, will decide last minute to personally be there and take charge, for no reason. Oh no the brothers snuck inside the club through THE SECRET ENTRANCE we didn't know about! Not that it matters because we weren't covering the front door anyway. Because I, Lieutenant Leguerta, am here and in charge, I will make an obviously horrible call that will end in a bloodbath. Oh no! Captain "I completely disappeared for the 3rd season and only pop up now for the dumbest of reasons like when I stepped in to complain about how three 0cops were 'being paid to sit around sipping cocktails' in a MOTHERFUCKING UNDERCOVER BUST TO NAB MASS MURDERING MACHETE PSYCHOS but hohoho cocktails bitch bitch" is upset and someone has to take the fall! Good things I, Lieutenant Leguerta, made that contrived effort to personally go along and take over the operation so now I can create drama by shoving Deb under the bus."

It's like, after two seasons of super nice supportive Leguerta, they suddenly remembered she was supposed to be a heartless Machiavellian bitch so they stumbled over each other coming up with that awful subplot to reestablish "Leguerta hates Deb" after two fucking years.

What I would give to hear some behind the scenes stories of that show's writing room.

Syd Midnight
Stars for the description, mostly. Ice burn.
Koda Maja
Let's forget about the clearly absurd question of Dexter vs. Breaking bad.

Here's a better one: What show is more ridiculous, Dexter or True Blood?
Nominal
Without a doubt, True Blood.

Here's a better one: which show has had more fat romance novel fans masturbate to the characters, Dexter or True Blood?

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