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Desc:Extremely NSFW
Category:Cartoons & Animation, Horror
Tags:horror, mlp, dakimakura
Submitted:Callamon
Date:03/01/14
Views:2975
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Comment count is 54
Cena_mark
This is exactly how most Applejack hater are.
EvilHomer
BG PONY!

Cena_mark
Hardly. That's an old joke, that's long dead. AJ is practically Twilight's right hoof mare.

EvilHomer
That's funny, I've seen like one episode this season where AJ had any speaking parts at all, and she spent most of that episode hitting on hipsters and trying to act like Rarity.

Besides, Twilight's not been getting much attention lately, either. Nearly all of the episodes this season have been about Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, or Pinkie Pie - the only Twilight episode in recent memory was last week's, where she played second fiddle to the CMC (third if you count how much screentime the Sugarlump Rump Bitches got)

Cena_mark
She hasn't had her own episode yet this season, but it runs in cycles. AJ has been a strong supporting character in many episodes thus far like Bats, Pinkie Apple Pie, and Simple Ways. Also she wasn't hitting on hipsters it was the damn hipster hitting on her. She only acted like Rarity because Rarity was trying to act country.
She wasn't in Twilight time but neither was anypony from the mane cast but Twlight and Pinkie.

EvilHomer
Wait, was she in Pinkie Apple Pie? I can't remember. I know that episode had Big Mac in it... and there was Apple Bloom... and of course Goldie Delicious, who can forget her? And who else? Wasn't there one more pony on the wagon with Big Mac and AB and Pinkie? I think it was Apple Fritter. Yeah, must have been.

So where was AJ? Was she there at the beginning of the episode, seeing Mac, Bloom, Fritter, and Pinkie off?

Cena_mark
You're clearly just trying to get my goat man. I know you don't really believe AJ to be a background character.

EvilHomer
A little. Honestly though, I do have a tendency of forgetting she's one of the Mane Six.

She's not my LEAST favorite mane pony; she's usually four or five, fluctuating with Rarity. But I can see why many fans consider her a background pony.

Cena_mark
If anypony is easily ignored its Fluttershy. Always being quiet and hiding behind her hair and shit.

EvilHomer
Hay. That depends on whether you're speaking from an Equestrian perspective, or an audience perspective. Within the universe, yeah, it's been established that Fluttershy's is often ignored by the other ponies (except for when she's twerking). But any human watching the show will quickly see that Fluttershy is the mane attraction, and this is confirmed by hard statistics, which show her consistently ranked number two or three in fan popularity.

And I think the writers are coming to realize this, as evidenced by the last few episodes. I think it's quite obvious that they're looking to transform Fluttershy into a Fanservice Pony - in Filli Vanilli, you had references to Flutterguy (by name!), the duckface shot, the shower scene with some rather obvious nods to the Flutterdash theory, all the explicit ass shots that cannot have been coincidence, you know they knew EXACTLY what they were doing, especially in the school window bit. And then in this latest episodes, we had "yay" and more ass shots and the stare and, of course, the ready-to-be-meme'd Flutterbee, cutest thing since Flutterbat (which was also fairly recent, and further supports my fanservice theory). All of this taken together demonstrates quit conclusively that the writers know Fluttershy is what the fans want to see.

Of course, she's still only second best pony, after the original Iron Pony Rainbow Dash, whom I'm sure we can both agree, is least ignorable pony, on account of her awesomeness and her swag.

EvilHomer
Think about it like this: if MLP was wrestling, Rainbow Dash would be CM Punk, Fluttershy would be Daniel Bryan, Twilight Sparkle would be John Cena, and AJ, she'd be Big Show.

You're a Big Show mark.

Cena_mark
Now you're making some low LOW blows.

EvilHomer
Hay, I could have said Hillybilly Jim! But instead I took the high road and gave AJ a two-time World Heavyweight Champion... whom nobody actually cares about.

That was very fair and generous of me.

Cena_mark
Yeah, RD is all in your face I'm reminded that she's there by my urge to strangle her. Fluttershy was getting all that attention in Filli Vanilli because it was a friggin' Fluttershy episode! AJ will be awesome too when her episodes come this season. She was freakin' awesome in Simple ways.

EvilHomer
Simple Ways was a Rarity episode, and AJ was amusing when she was _trying to be Rarity_... albeit not as awesome as Rarity when she was trying to be Applejack.

I hate to say it, Cena, but the season's more than halfway over, and looking at the announced episodes, it doesn't look like AJ is going to have a single solid episode. There's an AJ-centric one with the Flim Flam brothers set to air at the end of March, but we all know the real star of that one is going to be Granny Smith.

(P.S. speaking of upcoming episodes, I can't fucking WAIT for Maud Pie!!! I hope she's as cruel and cold-hearted as my headcanon says she is! The writers have a perfect opportunity to explore Pinkamena and the trauma-scars of Pinkie's harsh Puritan upbringing, so I hope they don't let us down)

Cena_mark
And who will Pinkie go to for help with her family issues? Who got Rarity and Sweetie Belle to reconcile? Applejack, that's who. I'll bet she plays a big part in that episode.

EvilHomer
Naw, she's gonna go to Rainbow Dash, nod and a wink to Cupcakes and all.

Applejack will probably side with Maud, seeing as they're both farmers and all - one apple, the other rock. Farm ponies stick together.

Cena_mark
"a non to cupcakes" this is what's wrong with the fandom. All they want now is for the writers to pander to the bronies.

Also AJ and PP are possibly distant cousins... which I guess would make Maud her cousin too. Either way AJ is more loyal than RD and will have PP's back.

EvilHomer
But the writers ARE pandering to the fandom. I don't see why this should be a bad thing (assuming, of course, they don't actually hurt my little Dashie) but whether you like it or not, it's happening, and will continue to happen. Also, I'm sorry, but WHICH pony represents the Element of Loyalty? Apparently you've forgotten - it's Rainbow Dash! Dashie is all about loyalty; AJ? She's just honest, which means she'll bluntly tell Pinkie all kinds of mean things and make Pinkie cry. Thank goodness RD will be on hand to cheer up Pinkie with a cool Cupcakes-inspired prank!

And nothing was ever confirmed re: Pinkie and AJ. Personally, I don't see what the big deal would be even if it were true; of COURSE AJ and Pinkie are related. All those mud race Earth Ponies are related to each other; the farmer clans are so stationary and inbred that it's inevitable.

Billy the Poet
Dust of and nuke this thread from orbit.

Cena_mark
I want the writers to make a funny show and maybe have the occasional fandom callout, but they do it too often. It keeps the show from being organic.
AJ is far more Loyal than RD and honest too. If PP came to her for help she'd probably say some shit about the Wonderbolts and fly off.
And no they're not all Related like that, and there are a lot of mixed ponies out there. So ALL ponies are related in that sense, but there is still chance that PP and AJ are distant cousins.
Don't diss the Earth Ponies. They are by far the most noble of the tribes. If you don't like that then don't eat.

Shut up Billy.

EvilHomer
Dude, now you're trying to argue with THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY. I think they know what they're doing, seeing as they're like the fundamental building blocks of all magic. You might as well argue with the Laws of Thermodynamics! Haw. Rainbow Dash is the most loyal, accept it.

And I'm not saying the mud ponies don't serve a purpose, it's just that we both know there's a natural order to things. Pegasi are at the top; they are brave and adventurous, constanty pushing boundaries; they are explorers and engineers, and the future belongs to them. Next comes the unicorns. They are creative and magical, but also decadent and weak, slaves to their base emotions. They have the Capability, but lack the Will, to be a true Herrenpferd. Finally comes the Earth, who are physically strong, like the Pegasi, but simple-minded and docile, good for pushing plows and pulling carriages. All castes are valuable, all castes are necessary, and all ponies have their place, whether it's soaring through the clouds, or standing in the background.

EvilHomer
Yeah Billy, I bet your favorite ponies are the Breezies.

Cena_mark
Adventurous? Its the earth ponies who are the pioneers. They're the ones creating settlements on the wild outskirts of Equestria like Appleloosa. You want to talk creativity, who are the fashion elites of Equestria? Why is it that when Rarity wants to get to the top of the fashion world she's always kissing the ass of an Earth Pony like Hoity Toity or Photo Finish? Earth Ponies excel at anything they want.

EvilHomer
Oooo yeah Appleloosa, I'm real impressed. NOT. Any jackass can steal land from buffalo and build a podunk place like that; hell, Appleloosa ain't even a Wal*Mart town. Meanwhile, the pegasus ponies are building cities on the fucking clouds. CLOUDS! You show me one other species who can even come CLOSE to building cities in the clouds. Not even humans can do that shit, that's how awesome Pegasi are.

And sure, there are some nouveau riche Earth ponies, but that doesn't change the fact that they are, as a whole, a miserable and downtrodden underclass. Unicorns let a few of them trapse around Canterlot for the same reason that fat white music executives let African-American hiphop artists bounce around on television. I guarantee you, behind every millionaire Earth pony, is a billionaire unicorn exploiting the applesauce out of the poor naive Earthie. That's what they do, those greedy hook-horned witches.

Thank Celestia the Pegasi are above all that racist exploitation - they care about the rights of the less fortunate, even though, as the best ponies, they don't have to. Who was it that sided with the noble buffalo against the evil genocidal Earth pony oppressors from Appleloosa? Wasn't it........ Rainbow Dash?!?!

Cena_mark
Pegasi can't be pioneers because they can't produce food. They'll always have to live around earth ponies in order to survive. They'll push a few clouds around and get some hay in return. Its more than just Appleloosa. Ponyville was established by not just earth ponies, but the Apple Family.
All they did was plant trees on on the buffalo's stampeding grounds. It was all a big misunderstanding. It wasn't genocide.
You say they're the least racist? Yeah, that's why they live up in the clouds where they don't have to share space with any the other pony races.
The Unicorns may have the suck up city of Canterlot, but earth ponies have Manehattan.

EvilHomer
So I guess you're gonna say that Buzz Aldrin wasn't an astronaut because he didn't cook his own burgers from cows he raised himself? Or claim that the research team at Los Alamos didn't exist because the eggheads there weren't spending all their time growing corn and mopping their floors? Don't be ridiculous. Pegasus ponies don't need to grow food. Pegasus ponies already have the most important job - they control the weather. They build rainbows, WITH SCIENCE. They keep Equestria safe from hurricanes and dragons and they're the only ones risking their plots doing humanitarian missions, like Operation Help the Breezies. Every single day, those brave ponies are out there, soaring above the clouds and punching the face of heaven, while Earth ponies are rutting about in the dirt, lurching lazily through their meaningless routines.

And it's not the Pegasus ponies' fault that the lesser races can't walk on clouds. They may live in gated communities, but they are very enlightened and totally empathize with the world below.

Cena_mark
I'm not saying Pegasi aren't adventurous or brave. I'm just saying pioneering is the earth pony's strength. They expand Equestria's borders. Pegasi may explore but they aren't building new settlements. Every day Pegasi are rutting about in the clouds in their daily routines while Earth Ponies are punching holes in the earth.

I'm sure we can at least agree that unicorns suck.

EvilHomer
Pegasi are all over the place, constantly building new cities and exploring new horizons. We don't see many of these settlements, for the same reason we don't see that much of Cloudsdale: because the show takes place on the ground, and three of the six mane ponies cannot fly! But Pegasi frontier towns certainly exist all over Equestria, as evidenced in Hurricane Fluttershy.

But yes, unicorns suck ass. Always gentrifying up the Earth pony neighbourhoods... Do The Right Thing, you dang unicorns!

duck&cover
The fedora is a nice touch.
SteamPoweredKleenex
I never wanted to think about the placement of equine mammaries. This made me wonder why they could be in so many places and now I'm depressed.
Callamon
Yeah when I saw that I knew I had to bring this here.

EvilHomer
That's one of the many subtle details in this video, which show that whomever made this truly understands his source material. Even I didn't get all the references the first time I saw it. Guy did his homework, that's for sure!

Adham Nu'man
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/282/6/f/rainbow_dash_dakima kura_by_omegadavid99-d5h9ksj.jpg

EvilHomer
I have that same Fluttershy figurine. :(

Also, Jesus Christ, he's got at least SIX pony dakimakuras, plus a rather glum-looking inflatable alicorn (which he calls a pegasus, for some reason). I hope "99" isn't a reference to his year of birth, because that would him my brother's age, and I really don't want to think about my kid brother getting sucked into a world like this.

Adham Nu'man
What I love is how fucking disgusting and decrepit the whole room looks.

SteamPoweredKleenex
The peeling paint on the wall is nice, but nothing screams "all my money went to my wank-pillow" by what appears to be a CRT television set next to the bed.

Billy the Poet
It's great that there's a MLP poster covering an astronomy one. He was human, once.

takewithfood
Why is the other pillow case wet you know what never mind I'm good.

M-DEEM
who gives a shit anymore
poorwill
Up yours, this is high comedy.

yogarfield
PEOPLE PEOPLE

post-holiday depression is a real disorder. DEEM will appreciate this mid-June/July.

Old_Zircon
No it isn't.

bit.ly/JZ4OCb

EvilHomer
See, OZ's comment is a perfect example of why I love poe. We can take a simple story like a man fucking his Rainbow Dash pillow, and turn it into something both fun and educational.

Ghost stars for OZ.

yogarfield
Was only kicking up shit; post-partum riff. I wasn't even aware the Christmas Blues had reached pseudo-scientific levels.

fedex
the nasty nest of cheeto dust helped make it
DavidBowiesLuckyTennisBall
The related videos are always a potential minefield, but I did not expect the man trying to carve something out of his toe with a needle.
Binro the Heretic
"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" is my favorite holiday song.

Fuck everyone associated with this abomination for tainting it.
Lurchi
Daikatana for Cristmas
Spaceman Africa
Did they get someone's grandfather to voice this?
Old_Zircon
I hope so.

Xenagama Warrior Princess
Five stars for BrutaMod and CatFood McFly.
Sudan no1
lots of fun details, like Snow Crash on his bookshelf.
pyslexic dharmacist
......*looks at bookshelf*......*rewatches*.....

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