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Desc:Give this guy ten bucks and you might be the lucky one. Worked for me in 5th grade
Tags:Star Wars, Contest, jj abrahms
Submitted:infinite zest
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Comment count is 22
Mister Yuck - 2014-05-24
I guess what I'm wondering is, is... uh Whose shtick is he ripping off with the calculated uh... pauses and repeated words... which... seem to be meant, uh designed even, to give an impression of authenticity, folksyness, and... eccentric genius? Is it Ira Glass?

Cause it's really fucking annoying. We know that's an affectation, you hack. If I had to work for you, I'd kill myself.
infinite zest - 2014-05-24
Yeah it wouldn't surprise me if the Cantina band was Beiruit this time around

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-05-24
Hey, I like Beirut.

infinite zest - 2014-05-24
OK ok ok sorry. Devotchka. :p

infinite zest - 2014-05-24
(I love both bands btw, just hate how they're used on This American Life)

infinite zest - 2014-05-24
umm.. not that I listen to the show or anything.. I listen to this American FUCKFEST 2014! WOOOoo

memedumpster - 2014-05-24
AAAGGHHH!!! *has seizure from racist chinese merchant caricature alien causing Episode I flashbacks*
Jet Bin Fever - 2014-05-24
At least it is a practical effect and not a stupid fucking CGI blob that'll look like shit 5 years later. Yeah, the design sucks, but still.. it's a THING.

memedumpster - 2014-05-24
I bet that action figure's name will be Meso Awien.

chairsforcheap - 2014-05-24
five for meme

also i agree with your point jbf

cognitivedissonance - 2014-05-24
Can I file a request to be excluded from Star Wars VII and get a Disney Store gift certificate?
boner - 2014-05-24
Star Wars Episode VII: Beating the Dead Horse
cognitivedissonance - 2014-05-25
Star Wars Episode VII: Because Technically A Kid Who Saw Phantom Menace Could Have Reproduced By Now

Nominal - 2014-05-24
Let's see, a JJ Abrams Star Wars...

I'm betting it'll involve some GRAND MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY that will be the entire hook of the new trilogy, but only 5% of the run time will be about it. The other 95% will be soap opera shit. People will catch on, too late, that the 5% mystery was just spinning its wheels to run out the clock.

At the end, it'll all turn out to be TIME LOOP BUBBLES.
chairsforcheap - 2014-05-24
i know, isn't is such a bummer that GEORGE LUCAS isn't directing it?

Nominal - 2014-05-25
Once you delve below the shit line, degrees just stop mattering.

infinite zest - 2014-05-25
I'm pretty excited for it. I was born just before the Return of the Jedi came out so I didn't get to experience the "THRILL OF STAR WARS" like all my older friends. My mom went into labor at the theatre when they were seeing Star Wars IV so that's why my brother is named Ben. So when episode I came out I saw it on opening day.. waited in line forever.. I convinced myself that this was the BEST THING EVER!

It wasn't and everyone knows it.

I haven't seen any of the new Star Treks but I guess it kind of does what Godzilla did.. just forget what you knew about what you know. I'm doing my best to stay semi excited for this when I'd rather just see a fan-made one like the Our Robocop Remake thing in my 30s but hopefully it'll be good.

DerangedGoblin - 2014-05-25
I'm actually really excited for this :(

Screw you guys...
CuteLucca - 2014-05-25
*high five* me too. :(

I think Disney will do a good job. :(

infinite zest - 2014-05-25
OH FUCKING SHIT! I forgot that Disney has this, even though it was in the video. Disney has these weird employee rules (I didn't work for Disney but when a Disney musical came to town you had to obey them or be fired.. it was humiliating but I did it anyway. You were owned by a fucking mouse.

I'm not really sure how this works: I've never been to a Disneyland/world/euro or whatever but I know there's an Indiana Jones ride, but as much as the 4th one kinda sucked (kinda.. it really wasn't that bad) it still opened with the classic Paramount Logo turning into a prairie dog hill. The Lucasarts logo is probably second to that and I'd hate to see it replaced with that stupid castle. :(

infinite zest - 2014-05-25
the "in fifth grade" thing in my description was about a role in this movie they were filming in my neighborhood called "Dr Giggles" btw. Starring the bad guy from Darkman as an equally evil guy as a doctor? They told everyone at my elementary school that if they left their bikes on the rack overnight for a scene they'd give them 10 bucks. That never happened because they shot their financial load far too early so they just got the cafeteria to give us extra milk and cookies. Yes the shitty cookies that come with hot lunch. Burn.

That guy - 2014-05-28
UNICEF can never wash the turd off of this piece of shit franchise. Also, the franchise is stuffed with poo, and it smells like crap.
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