So can you make a good living writing boilerplate garbage? Because I'm, like, 95% sure I could pump out a script like this every month if I were properly motivated.
Only if you're a washed up actor from LA Law.
Why would they pay someone to write this script? Get an intern at the dating site to write one up.
Rodents of Unusual Size
This is what occurs to me when I watch various Syfy monster movies. It's not like it would be tremendously hard.
I need to pitch an idea to Syfy. I'm serious. I hate to work.
Your friend is awesome. I've been through many phases of trying to write but I never got a job where you could be paid to write (I am assuming) thinly veiled "unintentionally" funny bullshit and have it green-lit into a tv movie.
So the idea has to get approved by the Hallmark Channel? Because I just read one of the saddest stories I've ever seen over on the My Little Waifu forums, and I'd love to turn it into a Hallmark Channel screenplay. It's about a violent stalker facing serious jail time, who takes solace in the imaginary arms of his tulpa.
However bad this might be, it's got nothing on HBO's The Leftovers. 75 user reviews, 40 of them are red.
The writing is staggeringly bad.
Oh wow. That Guy, you weren't kidding. The hell is up with that?! The Leftovers is a really good show!
I thought the backlash was going to be coming over the show's blatant Illuminati messages, but the negative reviews seem to be coming from people who think it's either too slow (yet everyone loves Mad Men...?) or too artsy (I'm not even sure wtf that's supposed to mean!) Is everyone still mad about Lost? Is that what this is? Seriously, what the hell people, it's no My Little Pony, but it's a really fun show!
They're probably the same dorks who ragequit over the ending to Battlestar Galactica.
I really liked the Leftovers novel so I'm curious. I think it's about 5 eps in now so I'll check it out if you guys say it's good. Now that Californication's over I don't have much to watch.
I am not saying it's good!! The writing is like an elephant playing piano, and it deserves all the bad user reviews it gets.
He is saying it's good. The writing is like an elephant who trained at Juilliard. His interpretations of Rachmaninoff are considered amongst the best in the world, and he plays a piano whose keys were made from his very own ivory.
My favorite episode so far was episode six. I won't spoil anything, but: best use of Slayer I've heard in a good long while.
The show goes over a lot people's heads, lots of dream sequences and not enough fucking, but you'd probably enjoy it.
The show goes under a lot of people's butts, amirite.
As long as it's the daughter's hot friend's butt. Mrrow she's a would!
|Jack Dalton |
I know I should be cynical and think this is total garbage, but I thought it was kind of charming, and I hope that Farmers Only and Our Time round out the trilogy well.
All those record scratches really help sell it.
It's actually called Christian Mingle: The Movie?
John Holmes Motherfucker
She totally makes me want to stab Caesar, if you know what I mean.
(Not really, but I couldn't resist.)
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
I praise god for making Lacey Chabert. Not for this movie, which I suspect He's going to hate this movie, too.
Why would anyone lie to join Christian Mingle? Why wouldn't she just go with EHarmony , or OverbiteFetish.com?
GOD obviously made her sign up in order to turn her christian since he couldn't have had the exact same thing happen with a different site. Plus there was a sale on.
I know Lacey's cousin, and the strange thing is even in family photos Lacey looks as heavily made up as she does on film. It's strange. I don't know Lacey personally and honestly didn't have any desire to meet her, even though I probably could have. She must be hurting for a paycheck if she took this gig, though.
John Holmes Motherfucker
Acting is one profession where if you're working, you can consider yourself a success. Her IMDB page shows a hard-working actress who isn't too picky. She's got the female lead in four movies in post-production. This is one; the other three all look like they could all be for Hallmark (two have "Christmas" in the title.) She's also done a fair amount of video game and cartoon voice-over, including 13 years on Family Guy.
She wasn't on Family Guy for very long. They fired her ass ages ago (possibly after the first or second season?) and replaced her with the younger, prettier Mila Kunis. Seth McFarlane still makes cruel jokes at her expense.
John Holmes Motherfucker
From I MDB, it looks like she filled in for Mila when she was off doing movie work. She's credited with 13 episodes from 1999 - 2013
I dunno, IMDB gets a bit wonky with dates sometimes; my guess is the credit listings are based off the show's air dates, and not necessarily the actresses involvement. I'm very rusty on Family Guy trivia, but I don't believe she's done anything for them since the first or second year of it's run, with the *possible* exception of one episode where Stewie goes back in time to the pilot episode (IIRC, they just reuse her audio, she does not record any new lines) I don't know precisely why she got fired, but I get the feeling it wasn't very amicable, and I don't think she's had any contact with the show since.
|The Mothership |
Morgan Fairchild, Nooooooooooo!
Two of them.
|Binro the Heretic |
"Look! She's riding a bike, wearing man-clothes, drinking expensive coffee and focusing on her career. Hey! She just met a devoutly Christian dude she likes and now she's wearing more dresses, spending time out of the office and seems more interested in being around children!"
OKCUPID: THE MOVIE
Can one quirky single girl find love with someone who thinks cuddling is "very important" but thinks enjoying books is only "somewhat important?" Is it worth the sacrifice?
TWITTER: THE MOVIE
Can one quirky single girl find love when her cognitive disorder prevents her from speaking more than one sentence at a time?
GOOGLE: THE MOVIE
Can one quirky single girl find directions to a nice Italian restaurant within 20 minutes of her house? Yes.
FACEBOOK: THE MOVIE
Can your quirky divorced uncle stop sending you links to Worldnetdaily stories about how Obama wants to take his guns?
TUMBLR: THE MOVIE
Can one quirky film director make a movie consisting entirely of reblogs from other movies? Is "reblog" just his term for stealing entire scenes from other films and pasting them together? Is this illegal?
POETV: THE MOVIE
Can one quirky single bouncer find a jar of genuine wolf urine before midnight? Is he one semi-obscure WWE reference away from getting a bunch of five-star replies? Find out when Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
It's "The Social Network" meets "God's Not Dead"!
What is it with Christians and this fantasy about nonbelievers stumbling into salvation? Many Atheists and Agnostics quit church after spending their childhoods being mulched through indoctrination but these movies would have you believe that no non-Christian has ever heard of Jesus.
As someone who grew up with foster parents that had a huge hardon for this kind of crap, I can say that the idea that people once believed in and left their religion makes them extremely uncomfortable. The idea that someone could know their faith back and forth, and leave it for something else, rather than the other way around, ruins their mentally established narrative.
The thing that bugs me most about this is the whole premise; why in the hell would a non-Christian sign up for a Christian dating website? It just seems so silly. And then she ends up going to church and converting because that's what it'll take to stay with the so hawt guy who's a Christian that she wants to screw?
Jesus, Christianity, you sure do like making your religion look like whores R us.
Maybe the twist is he's baptist and she wants to be catholic so they share a last kiss, hold hands and jump into an industrial rock crusher.
After the credits there is an Easter egg of them burning in hell with Skeleton Hitler.
"If you're not careful you'll be the last one standing."
Oh! Record scratch!
I've hung out with Christians quite a bit recently. They are no different than you or I, my friends. Some were closeted gays, some were rebellious daughters and some were kind-hearted people who suffered a big loss. I liked them, and when religion was brought up (hardly ever) we had a calm discussion about it. I say I'm atheist, and we have a discussion on what that means to me personally. Then they discuss what Christianity means to them personally, we find out we agree on 90% of the same morals and values and that is where it ends.
I've met my share of hypocrite evangelicals too, no doubt. I think for the most part, religious and non-religious people have much more in common than either one would care to admit.
Hate the people, not their religion.
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