I think I have some kind of curse when it comes to Valentine's Day. I've had a few disastrous V-Day dates but this week beats all.

I fell in love. With a man who made me feel more loved than I'd ever been in my entire life. He couldn't do enough for me. We spent almost three wonderful months in love after knowing each other most of the year. Then last Saturday I found out from a good friend of his that he is a meth addict. He has been for ten years. I confronted him. He had used that day. He fell apart. I can't even describe how bad it was. He went with this friend to get clean. He came over tonight after a whole five days of not doing meth and I talked with him for two hours very seriously about how we could still be friends and I still loved him, would always love him, but I had to break up with him. He was just talking about how NOW it was different and NOW he knows he has to stay away from it and start a new life. But I don't think he is going to stay off of it.

I feel like I've been stabbed with Cupid's stupid bow a thousand times over.

He will still be living in a house filled with other addicts (three of his other roommates also do meth, which explains why we always went straight to his room and he didn't want me talking to them too much) even though I begged him to go live with his parents. I talked on the phone with his mom and dad a few times and he comes from a genuinely amazing family. He just has terrible self esteem and has ever since he lost a really good management job ten years ago. He used to have an executive position making 50K a year and now he barely gets by as a handyman.

ARROW STAB

Yeah man, meth's rough. I was seeing this girl for a while who was doing meth and heroin and she didn't drink, and I drank and smoked weed but didn't do meth or heroin. Other than that we were kind of perfect for each other. I mean, I know what I was doing with my body (I drank a lot more back then) as I'm sure she did, and never did she become that weird methhead cliche nor I the cliche alcoholic one. But as time went by it became more difficult, hanging around her tweaker friends or trying to get her to get a drink at the bar and just having to accept our differences instead of embracing each other. Last I heard she's cleaning up, with a lot of help from her parents who moved her back to South Dakota, and I still end every message with "I love you" even though our paths might never cross again.

Part of what make this so hard is I don't really want to admit its over. I keep picturing myself comforting him, being this presence of love in his life. I pictured us together. We were talking about the possibility of getting married.

The most difficult thing is I don't want him to fall into a depression that sends him straight to meth because he feels lonely without me and I told him this, told him that I would support him emotionally and still be in his life, just not in the same capacity.

His dad told me he has already had stomach surgery over this. If he takes meth further his stomach could rupture. That and he sustained an injury because he slipped and fell down some stairs (ironically while he was getting clean) and went to the hospital right after seeing me made me want to be there for him and hold his hand. It made me feel like a horrible person even though I knew everything I was doing for my own good, and also his because if he thinks he needs me to get clean, I have to take away that notion now. My presence wasn't enough to make him want to get clean in the months we were together. The only thing that has changed is now he knows he can lose me.

God fucking damn Valentine's Day.

Man, I thought I had it bad. Sorry, ROUS. You've always seemed like an awesome dude.

well thanks, I appreciate that.

I'm meeting with him and his parents tonight to discuss his moving back in with them so he can stay clean, and the rules that come with that ie weekly drug tests, etc.

Check your local hopper, Mr. the Heretic. :)

Personally, I'm a bit offended by it. I don't know how deep it goes into BDSM culture but I've known (and dated) plenty of people who are into it and the concept of a plagiarized Twilight that makes housewives blush is as offensive as a "OMG it's like a regular love story but they're gay" type of reaction. It almost wants me to copy and paste the Rats of NIMH or Redwall and change all the names to MLP characters and see what happens.

Yeah, I heard an ad for that on NPR today. Fuck our dumb society.

They should have got Max Hardcore to direct the sex scenes, they could have permanently scarred some soccer moms!

Vermont Teddy Bear's always sort of had that "buy her this and she'll have to go down on you for Valentines Day" sort of attitude in their ads though; they're like one step away from the phone sex ads so it doesn't really surprise me that much.

Oh come on, this is totally POE. Do watch the last scene of this clip, it' quite funny and to the point.

I actually wonder if ANYBODY's going to see this movie. Kind of like Snakes on a Plane, everybody's quoting it and talking about it before it's even out, and then it's released and people are already like "meh"..

That being said, I was on a first date years ago and we saw Secretary, not really knowing what it was about, but she wanted to see it because it had Donnie Darko's sister in it. We left the theatre and asked "uh.. what did you think" at the exact same time and laughed about it. So I dunno.

Secretary was a great film. Like 50 Shades...with talented actors, believable characters, and a brain.

The tragedy is that with more artistic license, this thing could have been a smashing dark comedy or cruel satire. Instead, it's exactly what's on the tin.

Worst first date movie? I took a date to the opening of Cronenberg's adaptation of JG Ballard's "Crash". I'd read the book and knew exactly what to expect... so no excuses here.

Hahaha.. I remember trying to sneak into Crash when I was 14 and I got caught. So I went to the library checked out the book mostly out of spite and went back to the theatre and sat in the lobby and read the whole thing right outside of the movie theatre so the usher could see me.

Actually, worst "date" movie for me was The Other Crash. An ex of mine was in town and I was already (very recently) married but she was trying to steal me back, or something.. it was very unclear. But without telling my wife I went to see it with her, and to this day I never told her (not that it matters anymore since we're separated..) Nothing happened but she was kind of holding me during the "magic bullet" scene with the kid and I just started laughing out loud, pissing off everybody in the theatre. I kinda did it on purpose so she'd stop her advances, but god that scene is so bad!

My worst date movie: In the Company of Men.

Yeah I've been curious about the books. Like, BDSM is not rape any more than regular sex. I was with a girl who liked Popsicles in the summer time, if you know what I mean. It was outside of my fairly vanilla Skinamax sex, but sure why not? It didn't mean that we wouldn't then go to the park or ride bikes or whatever afterwords. If you have that link, I'd like to read it, since I don't plan on reading the books.

http://50shadesofabuse.wordpress.com/chapter-analyses-master-list/