|Binro the Heretic |
Hollywood, I hope you never learn how computers work.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Hilariously inept. I hope the ghost uses emojis. "I'm going to (gun) your (smiley face)."
I hope some chatroullete prankster wearing a garish, intricate costume shows up in their chat, and refuses to break character despite everything that happens.
terrorists used wingdings to plan 9/11
Basing a slasher flick off of a real-life case... yeah, I'm sure nobody's gonna have a problem with that.
Blair Witch made hundreds of millions of a TRUE STORY murder case.
It didn't hurt Psycho. Or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
|Caminante Nocturno |
I'm punching up a script for a movie about a haunted Let's Play that murders anyone who tries to retsupurae it.
I'd look forward to a sequel where a Redditor who committed suicide after racking up too many downvotes comes back for revenge, and forces people to keep posting to the various subreddits he used to post in...or else.
Seven Arts/H8 Red
"What happens on Tumblr once the walls of your reality...COME TUMBLING DOWN?"
What the fuck is retspurae?
Gmork, "tsp" is not a valid Japanese consonant cluster, you dork!
My screenplay is about an Ask Pony who murders anyone you tell it to. Then it murders YOU.
The name will be something like, Light the Whinnygami.
You're joking when you say this was shown in a theater, right?
WARNING!! THIS is SCARY but TRUE in 2014 a teenage girl watched this trailer and one starred it and didn't FWD it to her friends, so a crazy hookhand killer went into her house and cut her face off!
FIVE STAR THIS VIDEO AND FWD TO FIVE OF UR FRIEND OR THE HOOKHAND KILLER WILL COME FOR YOU NEXT
My faith in the fine folks at shocktilyoudrop.com may never recover
|Seven Arts/H8 Red |
So, what you're saying is, someone decided to base a horror film off Freakazoid.
2:18 - "WHYZEECOWNEEDOW???!!"
|Mr. Purple Cat Esq. |
Do real people actually hang out in multi-person video chats?
Yes, actually, they do! Sad to say. Multi-person video chats, like Google hangouts, are surprisingly popular amongst a certain set of netizens. Skallagrim talks swords with his buddies, GentlemanGamer runs Vampire the Masquerade campaigns, and Nick Bravo gets drunk and makes rape threats against popular Youtube vloggers, all via the wonderful medium of multi-person video chats!
If this were a real video chat room, at least one of those guys would be holding a roll of toilet paper and masturbating.
Harder and harder as people were killed.
I know which dirty little lier killed me kast summer
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Can the killer also take care of the screenwriter responsible for "Ted 2" in the related videos because ew.
Ted 2? I haven't seen the original but doesn't seem like there's much more to go with that premise. I have heard the original's good from several sources whose comedic opinions I respect, but "From the Creators of Family Guy" is kind of like "A Film by Robert Zimmeckis" to me: I like FG and disaster films if there's nothing else on and I'm kinda drunk but that's about it. Is it any good and worth 700-odd MB?
*Roland Emmerich. I always get those two mixed up for some reason.*
Ted is garbage but so is your taste, so yes, please download the movie and risk the wrath of the copyright popo for teddy bear dick jokes.
Sudan is filled with cunts.
Haha ouch. That's what it should say on the poster.
The premise of Ted 2 is that no one saw that western shitshow Seth McFarlane came out with last year and he's getting a little desperate.
I was in tears at the blender scene.
I TOLD YOU I WAS HARD CORE
|infinite zest |
Goddamnit.. I can't remember what video it was.. I think the (legitimately cool) facebook movie that's all shot in real-time on facebook and deconstructs a jealous guy's breakup, where I said that it'd be cool if someone did this but for a horror movie. :(
Yeah that's the one. I can't seem to find it on here though, maybe I posted it on someone's facebook wall. The bummer is this *could* potentially be cool, assuming it's filmed entirely on computer screens like the Noah short, and believable with a no-name cast in a found-footage kind sort of way. Hell, when I was sixteen I would've totally been fooled into thinking it was real, save for the fact that I worked at a movie theatre at the time and we got all the promo shit as well as a little pamphlet explaining to us how people might think it's real (and that we as movie theatre workers should treat it as such) and how to handle the situations for anybody who freaks out about it. But the cat's out of the bag with the trailer so what's the point? Either they figure out a way to stop her or they die, she comes back anyway, who cares? Yeah it's The Ring and Serial Experients Lain had a baby.
man it's weird to be the one guy that ISNT the hater, but even if this is going to become hilariously dated within a year or less, it's at least trying for a fairly unique framing device within the "revenge from beyond the gwave" concept. I don't know how many people will be able to handle 80 minutes of skype and alt-tabbing on a theater screen, though.
|Prickly Pete |
1:21 "Who would hack into a dead girl's account?" Right, that goes against the internet's Geneva Conventions! Nobody who uses the internet would do something THAT caraaaaazy!
It's so hard to hack into another person's Skype, too, first you need to open up Skype and then you need to do nothing because it automatically logs you in by default.
Does anyone remember Serial Experiments Lain? No? Never mind.
Haha.. It's been a long time since I saw it, but wasn't the girl just happier being in the digital world and didn't really have a vendetta against anyone, besides being the kid in the background and once she figures it out she takes her physical life? That's a little different than slut shaming, but yeah pretty much the same thing, just 1000% more idiotic.
Also, does Universal have to pay for all the trademarks? Publicity's publicity I guess, but seems like facebook and liveleak and youtube wouldn't want their names associated with something like a death video, which they actively censor and remove in real life.
DQL - countdown to Hollywood execs killing themselves in horrible ways, each clutching a smartphone with a single email - sent from Nakamura's account.
From the first couple seconds of music I was hoping it was going to be "Avenging Annie":
I feel like they missed an opportunity by not calling this "UnfrienDEAD". Five stars anyway, for the dead girl's icon being an egg emerging skyward out of someone's butt.
From the producers of "Doge of the Dead," "Snapchat Your Instagram...IN HELL," and "Scream for Your Memes."
So the trailer shows who posted the video and the order people die in? Thanks for making me not have to see it I guess?
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
Found footage horror movies are the worst, but at least this looks better than "Megan is Missing". Cool title, though.
I thought you liked Megan is Missing?
John Holmes Motherfucker
To be fair, I can see where you'd get that idea, but what I said was that Megan is Missing is "Classic Exploitation filmmaking" By that, I didn't mean that it wasn't a vile piece of shit. (I'm not sure if I'd actually seen it yet when this was posted) I meant that it follows a classic exploitation marketing strategy, one that is as old as cinema, portraying a taboo subject and pretending that it's supposed to be some kind of public service.
Here's another "classic example", Wayne Esper's Sex Madness (1938)
Dwain Esper's films are at least quaint and silly, but "Megan is Missing" is so extreme, and so divorced from reality, as to be nothing but teeny torture porn. I'll admit that I was curious to see it, so I downloaded it from a torrent, and when I did, it was yucky.
And in classic exploitation tradition, it's bullshit. There's very little evidence that this kind of thing ever happens. Serial sex murderers don't need to search the internet for victims, and engage them before abducting them. They just pluck them from public places when no one is looking.
John Holmes Motherfucker
Also, when I said this looks better than Megan is missing, what I meant was that it looks like it does a better job of understanding the technology. It could hardly be worse.
I didn't mention this at the time, but ever since that submission, "teeny rape" is both what I think of when someone mentions that movie (no one does, except for you), and what I think of when I think of you watching that movie. It is a profoundly creepy, almost too-aware tag (teenY, not teen, but teenY - a porn industry term usually associated with scandalously young, faux-jailbait material), and is nearly perfect in its JHMFness.
In other words, it's an awesome tag, and I wish you'd find a way to link it already, Mr Holmes!
While we're talking about Megan is Missing, I want to remind everyone that the director of that movie made an ass out of himself in the comments section of the YMS review.
|Maggot Brain |
They shot this for under a million, no way is this going to lose money. I have to admit I really like the set up; rape victim commits suicide and comes back to haunt the ones the wronged her, that stuff is gooood.
|Monkey Napoleon |
Still will probably be better than 95% of horror films this year. Being a horror fan kind of sucks ass.
I think I will wait till it comes out on RiffTrax.
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