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Desc:TRIGGER WARNING: Gets super spooky at the 7:00 mark.
Category:Horror, Horror
Tags:spooky, roundhouse kick, creepypasta, gunstar heroes, camping madness
Submitted:Sexy Duck Cop
Date:04/14/15
Views:659
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Comment count is 10
Binro the Heretic
Did any of the old guard happen to record any of the dramatic readings of bad fan fiction that used to be read during our TF2 sessions?
Sexy Duck Cop
I'm not in the loop, but this is a real fucking thing:
https://youtu.be/LeEJdq2K3n8

Sexy Duck Cop
I knew this was gonna bomb, but this past week I've been addicted to terrible Creepypastas. There's something about how strangely uniform they are in their awfulness that I find mesmerizing.

Like, 95% of them follow this bizarrely specific pattern:

1) I found a video game at a garage sale/ebay.
2) The game's label was filed off and replaced with something else.
3) I booted up the game and (familiar mascot) had "hyper-realistic" blood gushing from his eyes/mouth. The colors white, black, and red will be prominently featured.
4) The game started like normal, but (main character) looked very worried and stared at me through the screen.
5) The screen went black for (extremely specific amount of time) and (vaguely threatening message) appeared.

EVERY. TIME. There's a sociological statement you could make off the specificity of these things. And it definitely involves Asperger's.
Binro the Heretic
My generation's creepypastas weren't much better. They also followed a set pattern:

1 - Horny teenagers
2 - Secluded or isolated location
3 - Sound that must be investigated
4 - Discovery of mutilated corpse of investigator
5 - Insanity of surviving party

Sexy Duck Cop
But at least those stories had a tangible threat beyond "I bought a video game and it didn't work." I mean, when horny teenagers would respond to the snapping twig with "It's probably just a cat," at least it would turn out to be Jason and not, you know, actually a cat. The problem with game-related stories, beyond the obvious autism, is that at one point the narrator will say "This is obviously a stupid ROM Hack and I should stop playing" AND BE TOTALLY RIGHT.

The true horror of these stories is not death, but a life not lived.

EvilHomer
>>The true horror of these stories is not death, but a life not lived.

Which, I'd argue, is an even more real and tangible horror than "Jason might jump out of the shadows and murder me". How likely is it that anyone you know will ever get murdered by Jason? Not very likely. How likely is it that anyone you know will waste their lives on frivolous pursuits? Actually quite a bit.

EvilHomer
Could you post some links, SDC? I would like to read some of these creepypastas.

Binro the Heretic
http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Creepypasta_Wiki

Knock yourself out. Pretty much any random page is a steaming pile of crap.

I blame Eric Nudsen.

EvilHomer
It took me five Random Page visits before I found my first vidya game creepypasta. 95% is an exaggeration, surely?

They are all awful, however.

Sexy Duck Cop
EH: I've got a friend coming over in a few, but check back tomorrow and I'll have eleventy billion for you

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