More info: http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/binge-watchalypse-now-th e-heart-of-streaming-darkness-that-is-netflixs-richie-rich-reboot/
I read someone somewhere saying 'god, this must have been a cheap license to get'. Actually, most of Harvey Comics' properties had been bought by Classic Media, which was in turn bought by Dreamwork, so apart from certain characters such as Black Cat and the all-important Sad Sack, the House of Shrek owns Richie Rich et al lock stock and jack-in-the-box.
After reading that review and watching the trailer, I had to watch the first episode for myself. Well, the first half of it. I lost interest midway and went to the kitchen to look for the cheap plastic tumblers I bought last night. I couldn't remember if I washed them or not. They were still in the sink with the price stickers. Here are my thoughts:
Richie's money manager is named Murray but should be called "Heeb Jewinsteinburg" for all the stereotypes they cram into that character.
Like every show targeted at a youth market, Richie and friends are obnoxious in their precociousness and blatant pandering. Richie manages to utter a punchline starting with with the word "hashtag."
The robot maid looks like the younger but not quite as pretty sister of Inara from "Firefly." I imagine they have her in the show to give the dads stuck watching this with their kids something to look at and to having stray thoughts about.
In keeping in step with lazily appealing to kids, Richie's dad is incompetent at life who still sleeps on a couch and his older sister is a ungrateful bitch.
None of the child actors can act. Every line is delivered with eagerness, pronounced emoting, and shouted.
Not once did Irona the Robot Maid bend stiffly from the waist to dust something phallic. It's about the only trite and overused sitcom convention this show doesn't use.
And Jesus Christ that laugh track.
Sponsored by the Koch Brothers. #Notallrichpeople.
Seriously. What does this say about our culture that this is the best they could come up with? Did they just use their 'House of Cards' algorithm and point it at the children's section?
everything is shit i hate it fuck all yall
did not watch
Did anybody ever like Richie Rich? It seems like the kind of comic kids who weren't allowed to read anything published by EC were handed. It was subsequently turned into a dogshit movie everybody hated and now it's been greenlit as a show about rich white people to join a multitude of others throughout television history. Why? Why do this?
Rodents of Unusual Size
No, Ducktales had a few jokes that really worked, was visually appealing, and had a main protagonist that wasn't just happy, but driven and constantly under attack by people wanting his money. Richie Rich uh...what the hell did he do again?
All I remember about that show is that in the title sequence he is seen in a garbage dump which is full of gold and jewels and I used to have nightmares he was pelting me with it, which is a huge metaphor for my life.
Oh, fucking Brouses, and now Brucks?! What's next? I bet some of you are closet Brichies, too.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Ducktales is coming back with new episodes in 2017. Disney just announced it.
"Bruck" doesn't have a great ring to it. What about "Bro-Tales"?
Bruck-tales, and that is your final offer.
Clearly it would be "Brewies". Leverage the rhyme scheme already in play.
oh good, pre-teen disney-style filler, everybody get your creepy fetish check list handy (or bingo style, your preference).
also when i first heard about this i just hoped it was going to be a camera following macaulay culkin around as he ate more pizza
There's a joke about gorilla-rape at 1:49; that's O-3 on my card.
The it cuts to her smiling. That maxed out the creepiness.
In five years or so there's gonna be an uptick in robot fetish because of this.
But this one is different. In the previous Richie Riches Richie was born into wealth. This one is self made. Its empowering to children.
Not just self made, but a Green economy trillionaire. You have to be mighty bitter and spiteful to begrudge the wealth of a kid who invented a cost-effective bio fuel!
Yeah. Hitler was a vegetarian and look what happened there. Those kids might have a non-vegetarian role model but it's no match for high blood pressure and possible colon infection down the line.
Hitler didn't invent a biofuel because he ate all the vegetables he got his hands on.
So what's wrong with sexualizing robots? Of all the things that we could sexualize, I think robots would be the least objectionable to everybody.
I'll bet she's named Fifi. This shits too cliche for her name to be anything else.
You should really check paheal before you say such things, Bort; there are currently 4 pictures under the tag "Irona", plus who knows how many others on different websites.
For example, here are some SFW pictures from DeviantArt:
Honestly, I think that in the long run it would be a lot more healthy to just to just get things over with and make Irona look like Sasha Grey. Richie Rich is a teenager, and there's absolutely nothing you can do at that age to stop teenagers from sexualizing whatever they happen to see in front of them. If you tried to keep Richie away from stimulating material by locking him in a small wooden box for six years, then he would develop a small wooden box fetish. He'd spend the rest of his life browsing forums for pictures of small wooden boxes, buying rare wooden boxes online and paying domineering women to repeatedly shove him inside them.
At least letting him be raised by a sexy humanoid robo-maid would ensure that he stays somewhat normal.
So do they fuck? He seems to have sort of a thing for Darcy.
|Prickly Pete |
I'm assuming the original written dialogue at 0:29 was "kills my boner".
So netflix with all their data collection of people's viewing habits managed to crunch the numbers and determine that kids want to watch something that hasn't been on screen since john larroquette was doing movies.
This is either massive algorithmic fuck up or the human race is more irredeemable than we previously thought.
But Netflix is also airing the Inspector Gadget reboot, so I think karmically it all balances out.
I saw the first episode. I thought it was quite awful.
Yeah, the Inspector Gadget reboot (actually a sequel) has a lot of problems; Penny is a bit too ditzy and boy-obsessed, and I really don't like Doctor Claw's nephew. He's a stupid character and also unnecessary! I hope the writers kill him off.
But nonetheless, Gadget 2015 stays remarkably true to the time-honored formula (Penny is the hero, Gadget is an idiot, Brain gets mistaken for a MAD Agent, light bondage and SFW fetish references, Penny saves the day again) and, even better, Penny is voiced by Tara Strong (Harley Quinn, Twilight Sparkle)! As I've said before, Ashleigh Ball would make a far better Penny (her Rainbow Dash voice in particular is quite close to Cree Summer's classic work), but one can never say no to Tara Strong.
On a related note, if you ever want to see something creepy, look up Penny Gadget's entry on the official Inspector Gadget Wiki.
Actually, belay that, try the Animated Foot Scene Wiki. That one's worse.
It's even got an entry for Richie Rich! :| :(
It just occurred to me this kid totally has Zach Morris hair. This kids whole persona screams Zach Morris ripoff.
Fuck the haters. This teaches children valuable lessons:
1. Eating vegetables is for pussies. Real men eat meat.
2. Being rich is awesome. Pull yourselves up by your bootstraps. People with money EARNED it.
3. Food based fuel is great and will make you rich. (ethanol is awesome)
4. Beautiful women are just mindless toys/servants designed to look good for men.
5. Girls should stay away from the wrong neighborhoods and not wear the wrong things; otherwise they are just asking to the mauled(raped) by gorillas(black men) when they are wearing banana lip gloss(slutty clothes).
6. Blonde white guy is the protagonist. (As it always SHOULD be)
Rich, white, Christian males are the most oppressed group in this country. Just ask Sean Hannity. Its open season on them. Hopefully this program will give them some support.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Who says entertainment is out of touch with the heart of the American people?
|infinite zest |
Why even market something as "Ghost Pepper" if it's not spicy? Even the watered down ghost pepper salsa you can buy at the supermarket is still spicy enough to make me tear up, but real ghost pepper salt or something.. just a few shakes of that is enough to leave my mouth sore for at least 30 minutes, and I like to think that I can handle spicy food. I've got my picture on the wall at a restaurant for completing a spicy food challenge that Adam Richman from Man Vs. Food could not. So it's just dumb: like when I first started drinking alcohol, I drank amaretto sours, and 4 or so would get me pretty buzzed. Then I went to college and everybody was drinking vodka tonics. Guess I didn't think about ABV or anything and I puked my guts out after 4. Some dipshits who think Wendy's Ghost Pepper burger are going to be in for a surprise if they decide to pick some up at the local farmer's market. Don't come crying to me when that happens.
whoops.. thought I was replying to the Wendy's video. I'm going to eat some Psilocybin mushrooms and go to the hot springs.
Rodents of Unusual Size
It's a crossover episode, right? Wendy tries to earn her way into Richie's heart with finding the treasure of the ghost pepper pirate ghost. But what she doesn't know is that Richie has ties with the cocaine cartels from the same area. Watch the wacky hijinks when when they find out it was all the drug mule dressed up as a ghost pepper pirate ghost, who had been jumping up out of the water in glowing ghost peppers and spraying local people so he could take their drugs.
At that end of that episode, Wendy winds up staying at the banana republic casino Richie keeps as a tax haven, and the drug mule is fed to alligators as Richie laughs in his tuxedo from above.
Netflix instant is like some terrible, low-rent video store filled with direct-to-video shit you never heard of, z-movies no one would ever watch, and one dusty shelf of classics and brilliant obscure stuff.
They gave me "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"; that's the only reason I signed up with them.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I was excited about "The After" but then they decided not to make any more episodes, even though it was about a bunch of people running from alien demons.
They gave me Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret and Trailer Park Boys.. that's enough.. then again I wasn't paying for it. I need something new and funny to watch. Broad City was great and I loved it at first, but it's kind of turned into Girls, or Girls turned into Broad City. And they cancelled Looking, which was about a million times funnier and just better than either of those shows.
one thing I really don't care about is an "original streaming tv series" or any tv series
Well, they have a show that successfully looks like the sort of obnoxious tween sitcoms that get aired on Disney and Nickelodeon, complete with desperate mugging.
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