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Category:Advertisements, Crime
Tags:lies, republicans, political ads, conservative comedy, bold lies
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 24
Killer Joe - 2015-07-30
You can pick this one apart yourself, EvilHomer.
Xenocide - 2015-07-30
I look forward to hearing how this relates to Twilight Sparkle.

Old_Zircon - 2015-07-30
The future's overrated.
The Mothership - 2015-07-30
God I just love school districts where republicans have sway. They always know that the best thing is to provide for nothing.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-07-30
Vote Republican.
Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
HarrietTubmanPI - 2015-07-30
The GOP - where convincing people that it's the government holding them back when it's instead the rich and their corporations that are the problem. Nothing to see behind the curtain, oh gullible republican voters!
Xenocide - 2015-07-30
"Nice first draft, guys, but can we change the line 'no more school lunches for darkie children' to something about government staying out of our way?"
TheOtherCapnS - 2015-07-30
Shots of kids = no abortion

Society open to all = especially for bigots

Where government stays out of our way = even more deregulation

Where families can get ahead = eliminate estate tax, excuse me "Death Tax"

Where good schools are available to anyone = as long as they have money

Where good jobs are there for the hardworking, where every one of us has the opportunity to succeed = pull yourself up by your bootstraps; the poor are lazy

Where all can look forward to a better and more secure future = rich getting richer

5 for evil. They still got it
memedumpster - 2015-07-31
So, they made a list of everything they hate and want to destroy, then made an ad saying they're for those things.

Political strategy by Billy, age 4.
Binro the Heretic - 2015-07-31
"So, this new ad we're working on."

"What about it?"

"We should probably slip some...you know...'ethnic' people in the ad. A lot of those people vote now."

"Okay, but don't make them too 'ethnic'. A seventy-year-old with poor eyesight should be able to mistake them for regular people."

"I don't know...some of those people tend to have very...'ethnic' skin tones, even the ones with normal facial features."

"Just make sure you put those people in shadows and have enough regular people to offset that and we should be good."



"Well, you know...putting regular people around...those people..."

"Oh yeah...well, don't put any grown ones in the same shot as regular people...unless they're female. The female ones are pretty docile. Well, not the ones with VERY 'ethnic' skin. Here, take this paper bag. If an adult's skin is more 'ethnic' than this paper bag, don't use them. And don't let them catch you holding the bag next to them for comparison. Paper bags seem to trigger their primal instincts, I think."

"Okay...but it may be hard to find enough 'ethnic' people willing to endorse our party. They don't like us for some reason."

"Well, legally, we're not required to tell them what the commercial is for. A lot of them will be happy just to get some money."
Caminante Nocturno - 2015-07-31
If this were a parody, I would've given it one star for laziness.
Hooker - 2015-07-31
When has America ever been about anything except right now?
Old_Zircon - 2015-07-31
Since the beginning, and that's a big part of why things ended up the way they are (the good and the not so good). The early colonists and their fucking Doctrine of Predestination.

infinite zest - 2015-07-31
I put that robotics story in the hopper, and the thing the story doesn't really get into (tangentially it does but it doesn't say it) is that the potential jobs being created by creating Mister Handys to replace workers aren't going to help anyone but the young: do you really think a 50 year-old working at a Lowes is going to lose his or her job and go back to college to get a degree that allows them to learn robotics? I mean, unless they make robot manufacturing as easy as running a POS, lots of people are fucked here.

And the fucked up thing is that more money went to robotics research during the Obama administration than any other; if the Republicans actually believe in the survival of humanity and a Presidential candidate comes along who wants to cut all funding for robots except for the ones who obviously protect us, then I dunno where I stand.

Also lolwut
15th - 2015-07-31
The only thing more important than time passed is time that doesn't exist yet.
dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-07-31
This came on before every Youtube video I clicked on the last couple days. I was sitting in the living room with the tv on about an hour ago and in a 20 minute timespan it came on twice.

Maybe they think if we hear it enough it will become the truth?
fluffy - 2015-07-31
[little white girl]
For her future

[two little white girls]
For their future

[little black girl]
(uncomfortable silence)

[statue of liberty]
Our future
dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-07-31
They know their target audience well.

Binro the Heretic - 2015-07-31
You forgot the little black girl carefully concealed behind the white blond woman.

I don't blame you for not spotting her, though.

Binro the Heretic - 2015-07-31
Also, I just re-watched the ad. One of those "two little white girls" is either of Indian descent or indigenous American descent.

fluffy - 2015-07-31

cognitivedissonance - 2015-07-31
I'm such an idiot, like, Idiot Supreme, they had me going for it for a few seconds.

I'm an idiot.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-07-31
We as a nation are doomed because no one cares about any of us. Neither party wants any of those things, they all do as their corporate masters dictates and we won't be rid of the massive corruption until either Bernie Sanders is elected or we pass an amendment, but the more likely outcome is we experience a mass exodus of 50 million people from global warming as Republicans tell us it's a coincidence and Democrats tell us lines about how sad global warming is. We're doomed.

My commercial is the best, and you can use the exact same imagery with my narration.
Bort - 2015-08-01
I'll think Sanders isn't just trolling, Trump-style, when he explains why Green Mountain single payer failed in Vermont, and how he plans to keep the same thing from happening to a nation-wide program.

By the way, I can tell you why Green Mountain single payer failed, even if Bernie won't: because medical costs are yet too high to deliver universal quality care on the cheap. Single payer might provide 15% or so savings over private insurance, but that's it -- basically inconsequential when medical costs are 200% higher than they should be. So the next problem to solve isn't the health coverage mechanism but overpriced medical care.

If Bernie were serious -- if he looked at Green Mountain's failure with an eye to understanding and solving the problem -- he'd pivot over to medical costs and quit making single payer his focus. But he's not serious; he's at best just another devotee to the mythology built around single payer, and at worst a con artist plying a gullible demographic.

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