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Desc:From Wrestlemania VII.
Category:Sports
Tags:wwf, undertaker, Paul Bearer, Regis Philbin
Submitted:Yellow Lantern
Date:11/09/15
Views:1126
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Comment count is 34
EvilHomer
The Undertaker is the greatest champion the squared circle has ever known - greater than Hogan, greater than Cena, hell, greater even than CM Punk, if you can believe that.

What did Regis expect? That he'd interview the Undertaker and NOT be sent away in a pine coffin?!
Cena_mark
Taker is terribly overrated. I've always hated the streak when it became a thing, because it made his Wrestlemania matches predictable. I was so happy to see Lesnar end it, and the butthurt from the Taker fanboys.

EvilHomer
I told you before, the Taker *let* Lesnar win, because he knew Lesnar was the one man worthy enough to carry The Deadman's torch into the next generation. Brock and the Undertaker have had their differences, but they're both MMA fighters, both true warriors. Brock has the power, the attitude, and the jujitsu skills which allowed The Undertaker to claim the longest undefeated winning streak in Wrestlemania history.

Any "butthurt" must have come from marks, or from smarks who were cleverly trolling you! No true Taker fan would be upset about that glorious night. The Taker didn't lose Wrestlemania XXX; he simply passed the Blessing of Darkness on to his chosen progeny.

Cena_mark
Taker is a good gimmick since he lives up to the act of burying talent. The it took the Deadman over 20 Wrestlemanias to finally put someone over. Truly great wrestlers are not the ones who make themselves into stars, but who can also create new stars.

EvilHomer
True, and that's why Jericho is my favorite wrestler, even over the Undertaker. But in fairness to Lord Calaway, it's not his job to put over noobs and the undeserving. The Undertaker is in a league all his own; he cannot diminish his brand or his legacy by letting any old rookie defeat him. You have to EARN that right, through sweat and blood and authentic MMA streetcred.

Seriously, Cena, you're just hating on the Undertaker because he's the most dominant wrestler that sports entertainment has ever known. It's not his fault it took twenty-one years before Lesnar rose to the challenge! It's not his fault that John Cena will be retired while the Deadman continues to bury rookies alive.

fedex
please tell me you are both trolling

EvilHomer
Yes fedex, you and Cena, you are both trolling.

I, on the other hand, am just telling it like it is.

Cena_mark
Homer is trolling. Taker has no authentic MMA cred, he just aped a few moves. Brock Lesnar is legit.

EvilHomer
Taker has a black belt in jujitsu and was trained by none other than Rolles Gracie. How do you think he learned how to use wrestling's most forbidden technique, the Hell's Gate Gogoplata? Years of advanced MMA training, that's how.

He's also an OG member of Team Pacquiao. Check it out: https://youtu.be/fc7pI5G-SRM

Cena_mark
The Gracies are a bunch of cowards and phonies. They were tough when BJJ was a new thing, but now everyone knows how to counter it.

EvilHomer
Everyone knows how to counter it because BJJ is the single most important and widely-used tool in an MMA fighter's arsenal. It got that way because of the Gracies, the most influential jujitsu family of all time - MMA royalty, every bit as important to the sport as the McMahon's are to wrestling. And guess what? They've trained the Undertaker, but not John Cena. They'd laugh John "Fireman Carry" Cena straight out of their dojo.

Besides, I don't see too many people countering the Hell's Gate, do you? Not since the Angle Lock and the Walls of Jericho has there been a submission move so deadly.

Cena_mark
The Gracies like to shit on prowrestling, yet they stole their schtick from a prowrestler. There was a Judo master named Mitsuyo Meada, who was spreading Judo across the west, however, he wasn't allowed to host Judo matches for money, so he went into professional wrestling. He later on would go to Brazil and teach a bunch of shitbags his methods, which was pretty much Judo mixed with shoot wrestling.
Cena could whup any Gracie. He lacks technique, but he's a great brawler, plus submissions don't work on a man who never gives up. You forget that Cena mastered his own submission and has won many big matches with his STF, Kurt Angle was the very first man to tap out to it.

EvilHomer
Please, the STF is just a watered-down Crippler Crossface. It wasn't "his own", Cena stole it from Benoit, and then he made it worse by PG-ifying it.

And what do you have against Mitsuo Maeda?! Maeda-sama was one of the greatest wrestlers and judoka who ever lived - possibly THE greatest. He's the founding father of MMA, and if it wasn't for his tireless work a century ago, taking the Gracie children under his wing and training them to be the most dominant family in martial arts entertainment, then we'd probably all be watching something wussy right now - like soccer, or even squash.

I know you've got this weird man-crush on Kimura, but that doesn't mean you can't also love Maeda. Kimura respected and feared the elder Maeda; so should you.

Cena_mark
I wasn't shitting on Maeda, I respect him. I just wish he chose nicer people to teach, and not a bunch of cowardly, lying, cheats like the Gracies. The Gracies even lied about the context of Maeda's teachings. They said Maeda was forbidden from teaching westerners, to make it seem as though he was teaching them some mystic forbidden techniques. But Maeda was getting rewarded by the Judo bodies back in Japan for spreading his knowlege. They lied. They're liars.
Don't forget Sakuraba. That dude rocks too.

EvilHomer
The Gracies were Maeda's children, and Mark Calaway, by extension, his grandson. Every time you shit on one them, you are transitively shitting on Maeda.

And the Gracies weren't lying, they were building hype for Maeda through the clever use of kayfabe gimmicks! You wouldn't call John Cena "a liar" just because he sometimes pretends to be a rapper, and at other times, pretends to be a Marine... would you? I mean, *in reality*, John Cena is just a prep-school kid from the rich part of Massachusetts who got lucky straight out of college; but hey, that's cool. Kayfabe, right?

EvilHomer
I should add that John Cena didn't even have the decency to attend a top class prep-school. Cushing Academy is a notorious daycare-center for jocks; they're sub-Deerfield so far as the actual school goes, which of course is saying a lot!

But like I said, he can pretend he's a rapper all he wants. He's a wrestler and an entertainer, he's entitled to kayfabe privileges.

Cena_mark
He didn't get lucky. Cena was working his ass off till he puked.
This is all about his past right here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Uf4bnxInwY
He wasn't pretending to be a Marine. He trained at Paris Island to prepare for the role.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHSTJ_9YbxM

ashtar.
please stop

SixDigitDebt
let me see your war face

EvilHomer
Paris Island? Sounds nice. So typical of a man with Cena's privilege; I bet he spent most of his day sightseeing at Notre Dame, and eating fine escargot at a restaurant on Place Dauphine. Then he puked up all that escargot - because apparently, according to Mark, John Cena's bulimic. I guess that's how he keeps his figure: binge and puke.

You know where real badasses train? D̲e̲a̲t̲h̲ ̲V̲a̲l̲l̲e̲y̲. It's true, oh it's true.

https://youtu.be/_TTL5p4ueJw

EvilHomer
Also, LOL at that first video you posted. Promo is so full of crap. John Cena is "the definition of working class" because he "worked" hard at football practice. John Cena went to the School of Hard Nocks - not the School of Hard KNOCKS mind you, just some random gym owned by a dude named Nocks.

I'll give you this, though: I admire John Cena's refusal to give up. In that way he is much like the Undertaker, or even Helio Gracie. Helio Gracie didn't have Kimura's "Dean Malenko movelist", but he never submitted. Helio got his ass kicked, then he stood up and said "is that all you got?"

The Gracies live the John Cena code. That heart is why the Gracies (including their adopted son, the Undertaker) are the first family of MMA.

Cena_mark
Cena may have had a lot of privledge, but he put it to good use. He wasn't a rich kid. West Newbury, MA has a median household income of 2,828. That's chump change to him now. HHH on the other hand was filthy rich, with servants and butlers. That video was shown as a comparisson to HHH's video promoting their WM match. Cena went to the dungeon like Hard Nock's GYM, whereas HHH was in state of the art facillity with wolrd renowned trainers. It was like the Rocky 4 training montage.
Gracie got his ass whupped. I don't care if he didn't quit, he got his arm broken. When your arm breaks you're out. Its over. He talked mad amounts of shit coming into the match, and he lost. The Brazillain media even lied so he could save face even printing this misleading headline.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/27/Masahiko_Kimura _vs_Helio_Gracie_ude-garami.jpg

EvilHomer
Cena WAS a rich kid. Believe me; I know West Newburry. My grandmother lived there (actually, she lived in Merrimac, but that's literally just across the river from Cenaville. She probably could have stood on her porch and seen Cena's house), and I can tell you from personal experience that it is a really idyllic place. Yeah, sure, his parents probably weren't "butler and servants" rich, but West Newburry is a "send the son to prep school/ buy the daughter a pony/ own a small private plane" kinda place. You looked at the Wikipedia article, you saw for yourself: the average Male Jerk makes over 0k a year - six figures! Compare that to Greenwich, home of HHH, where the average Male Jerk makes a mere ,085.

Now, I can't find any info on what the elder Mr Cena actually did for a living, but it's reasonable to assume that he was loaded. A doctor, maybe a lawyer, small-time investment banker, who knows? He certainly made enough to have five children, and put them through prep schools that cost more than many colleges! Yeah, sure, that's chump change for a man like John Cena circa This Morning, who's currently worth something like million. But face it: he was still born a dang richer.



And so WHAT if Helio's arm got broke? It got broke TWICE, and frankly that's AWESOME. I mean, a minute ago you were going on and on about how great Cena is - John Cena obviously values having a never-surrender, never-say-die spirit, so why don't you?

You saw the headlines. Helio Gracie won a (moral) victory. He got TKO'd, sure, but he was a true competitor. ANYONE can win a judo match, but it takes a true winner to keep fighting, even after being choked out and having your arm broken in two places!

Finally, in regards to the smack talking: Helio was cutting promos. That's what you do when you cut promos - you smack talk and give the other guy a hard time. Everyone does this, from the Undertaker to the Ultimate Warrior to John "You Can't See Me" Cena himself. Give Helio a break, wouldja! They fight differently, but on a moral and spiritual level, Helio and Cena are basically the same people.

Cena_mark
I guess he grew up upper-middle class. That still made him closer to us E5 and below crumb bumbs than it did the 1%.
Smack talk wasn't really a thing back then. It was a martial arts match not prowrestling, Helio was being disrespectful.
Give me a break, a "moral victory", what kind of sports reporting is that? moral VICTORY for the Saints over the Titans Saints 28, Titans 34.
Most of all, Cena wouldn't have lost. He wins the vast majority of his matches and the few he loses are usually due to foul play.

Old_Zircon
I still thing Cena_mark and Evilhomer are the same group of 2 or 3 people doing some really long game trolling.

EvilHomer
Hey, Helio was progressive. You can't blame him for being forward-thinking and inventing modern sports-entertainment.

Which, incidentally, is another reason why the Undertaker (himself an honorary Gracie) saw fit to pass the legacy on to Brock. Brock is another progressive MMA fighter; the establishment doesn't always "get" him, they think he's a loose cannon who plays by his own rules. But those are the rules which'll bring crowds and get the story-line popping.

Cena wins because Vince lets him win; it's easy to say you'll never quit when you've never had your arm broken twice in a single match. I admire Cena's philosophy, sure, but Cena mostly just talks about it. Helio LIVED it. That's why he won a moral victory - the most legendary moral victory of all time. I really don't understand why you, of all people, can't accept that. And upper-middle class IS 1%, particularly on a global scale. Cena_Dad's a kulak, and inch'allah, he'll be liquidated along with the rest.

EvilHomer
P.S. Happy Veteran's Day, Cena. I hope you enjoy some fun freebies!

Cena_mark
I don't see how you'd think we're one troll. It pretty much defies the rational of trolling, as the purpose of trolling is to generate outrage and responses. Sure there are a few of the "Oh God, Homer and Cena are fighting about ponies again." responses, but are those really worth the rambling conversations we have?
Homer, I was talking about 1% on the national scale. Talk about a world wide scale and I'm rich. Rich Petty Officer Cenamark.
Happy Veteran's Day to you too, Homer.

EvilHomer
The ironic thing is, people going "bloo bloo bloo, Cena Homer ponies" all the time, are themselves trying to generate a response! They are the trolls, not us.

Also, if we're one troll, then how do you explain the fact that our opinions are so different? He's a fan of John Cena, I'm a fan of The Undertaker. He hates the Gracies, I love the Gracies. He's a libertarian-turned-socialist, I'm a socialist-turned-libertarian. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Sega, Nintendo, rapper, pianist, Steven Universe, Sailor Moon, hell we probably have different favorite Sonichu characters too (mine is Punchy).

What we DO, is have debates. Spirited, lively, intelligent debates, about important social issues! We're basically two old intellectuals sitting together at a Parisian cafe. Perhaps the same one John Cena visited while he was relaxing on Paris Island.

Cena_mark
Silvana Rosechu is my favorite. I'm a total mark for redemption arcs and face turns.
Didn't know you played the piano. I can't really "play" the piano, but can do enough to add some fly synth to my mixes. I use a Roland XP-50 as a midi controller.
I've been meaning to reach out to you outside of here, Do you check your PMs on your Deviant Art page?

EvilHomer
Usually, no. I haven't checked any of my messages on DA for like the past year, not since those jerkass cosplay nerds were trying to launch their jihad against me. If you you want to send me something I'll try checking my messages this weekend. Usually the best way to contact me is via my Facebook fursona, which I check maybe two or three times a week depending on how drunk my IRL friends are; IZ knows who I am, and I think maybe I'm following your rap band FB page?

I play piano. I've never recorded or uploaded stuff, but I'd like to do so, one of these days. Personally I don't think I'm very good, but I do play at the VA sometimes, and the old folks seem to enjoy my Baroque renditions of Pantera, LazyTown, and assorted Swedish viking metal standards. If I ever figure out how to record, just let me know if you'd like anything!

Scrimmjob
We should have saved this video as a RIP Regis video.
Jet Bin Fever
haha, my thoughts exactly.

The Mothership
I've played some dead rooms before....
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