Hoarders. Disgusting.

Fuck these things, and this burn is 100% necessary. I had to deal with these in an apt way back in the day.

Friend of mine was a home inspector / pest control guy, and he told me some horror stories about the places on my block. If there’s a shit house were they can set up a nest for a short period of time, they will run the block.

They reproduce at such a exponential rate that it doesn’t matter how clean you keep your place, they will still overcrowd. It doesn’t matter if you don’t even use your kitchen if your apt-adjacent neighbor is a slob. If you see these things not running from you, that’s because the walls are literally crawling with these fuckers.

I didn’t really believe they were that serious, so one night after getting home from work I set up a camera on the kitchen counter, put a single piece of dog kibble on a bit of sliced cheese, hit record and walked off.

I was expecting to parse some long footage in the morning and see if any stopped by. They completely swarmed it within a minute of me leaving the kitchen. I found a new place.

Memories of the magical year and a half I spent upgrading gas meters.

A relative of mine was a hoarder so this hits close to home.
I couldn't save them from themselves and they ended up falling and refusing help until it was too late. It was like fucking scaphism, man. When the doctors described their injuries. They were eaten alive.

When I visited my brother at the crack house he was living in that month, it was not far off from this.