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Desc:Patton Oswalt discusses the most painfully, insultingly sappy song ever written about Christmas.
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:christmas, Patton Oswalt, Christmas shoes
Submitted:Caminante Nocturno
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Comment count is 22
Glad I've never heard that song. Wow.
And that's a really bad publicity photo of Patton.
It's a horrifying song from the "Jesus needs Republican votes" school of country music.
My mom has been listening to this song when I see her over the holidays for the last couple years. It's pretty much the worst thing that's happened to christmas.
Billy Buttsex
MY mother's mother? You mean... MY GRANDMA???? Oh Grandma, what evil have you wrought?!

Jeff Fries
The song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNsvE33pRSw
not a good song
My ex's mom used to have a very short CD she burnt herself that had this song at least 2 times on it. Starting in november it would play on loop in her house whenever we saw her. I'm pretty sure I heard it at least 5-10 times on average per visit.
it's really awful.
Affordable health insurance would probably make mom smile a lot more. Might even cure her, thus making this song even more worthless than it already is.
Dummy Rum
But it won't make her look pretty for Jesus, will it?

i like pictures that move.
I have never heard this song, but it sounds like every other schmaltzy country tune about people drinking themselves to death or little girls dying of cancer.
Country songs about guys drinking themselves to death are awesome and sorely missed these days compared to the garbage country music turned into.

I was referring to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWVpKb7MIZc

Honest Abe
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck non videos
Oh no! How will I enjoy the audio without moving pictures to hold my attention? I have far too many chromosomes for that!

A Jumping Spider!
I've never heard this song before, but now that I've watched this, there will be no escaping it for the next few months. This is what will happen. This is how things work.
christ people just enjoy the standup

Also this song is indeed cloyingly awful. I see even more problems with it. Why isn't the kid with his mother, since she's on her deathbed, with no use for shoes, and could croak at any minute? Is he such an annoying little shit that dad sent him on a pointless shoe-buying errand without enough money?

The youtube comments for the song itself are highly irritating. One fat housefrau after another saying "I love this song, so sad :("

Apparently there was also a Christmas Shoes movie, an idea which simply horrifies me.
That movie would have to be what like five minutes long? At most? I'm not saying it wouldn't be awful, just that it would also at least be short.

That Christmas Shoes song is terrible, but the movie was worse. I think it ran on UPN last season.
Oh good, looks like the whole damned thing is on youtube. Whoopeee!

Anybody know what album this is from? The internet says "A bootleg of an unknown show" but it doesn't say what the bootleg is called or how to find it.
Corman's Inferno
It's not from an album. It's from a bootleg of Patton's set at one of the Yo La Tengo Hanukkah celebrations. I would guess you could find it on IRC or another file-sharing network.

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