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Desc:I'm with Horny
Category:Classic TV Clips, Humor
Tags:creepy, Incest, bill maher, purity ball
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Comment count is 36
zatojones - 2008-01-10
Funny, but I'm not sure Bill "WHORES!" Maher is a great source for views on sexual morality
waxeater - 2008-01-10
It seems to be he's commenting more on the creepy, incestual overtones of the whole thing rather than the "morality."

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2008-07-15
Yeah, well who would you rather hang out with? Him or the people he's making fun of?

don piano - 2008-01-10
Bill Maher is not funny.
Billy Buttsex - 2008-01-10
Funny, but you've gotta recognize how sick our society's gotten when you can't recognize the beauty of a father/daughter relationship, and instead only recognize "incest."

It's a father's job to protect his daughter and see her into a strong relationship with a strong man, and until she gets into that relationship, it only makes sense that the father is the man in her life. If he's not, chances are the bitch is gonna get knocked up by some loser. Shame on Bill Maher and everyone else for making fun of this.

What's wrong with you guys?
Caminante Nocturno - 2008-01-10
Dad's job is to get into funny, slapstick situations while his daughters' other two father figures try to talk over the incessant laugh track.

So shut the bloody Hell up.

jaunch - 2008-01-10
What's creepy is not the idea of a dad trying to protect his daughter's virginity. What's creepy is that they do it in a prom / wedding atmosphere with 30 - 100 old dads and 30 - 100 very young girls where they focus, for an entire night, on the image of penises being inserted into vaginas. It's creepy as fuck.

Imagine, if you will, if your dad and all your friends' dads had a party for you and your friends, where the whole thing was about how one day you would be anally penetrated by someone's cock. And you wore shirts that said "My anus is being protected by my dad!"

Wouldn't that be just a little bit odd?

Billy Buttsex - 2008-01-10
You know, in order for a father to protect his daughter from getting impregnated by some wigger jock, sex is gonna have to be brought up at SOME point, and THAT'S THE POINT. The truth is that women need a strong man in their life to protect their vaginas from being invaded by losers. THAT'S WHAT BEING A GOOD DAD IS.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-01-10
Being a good dad involves being a pipe-smoking widow who never does anything beyond dispense fatherly wisdom from his couch. And play the field in a non-explicit manner.

Shut up.

zatojones - 2008-01-10
You understand that there's a difference between looking out for your daughter's best interest and having a public ceremony where she pledges her virginity to you right?

TrafficCone - 2008-01-10
Wrong. It's the father's job to ignore his daughter totally or treat her like a piece of property totally overlooking the fact that she's actually a human being just like he is with real feelings and thoughts. What's wrong with you?

TrafficCone - 2008-01-10
What the hell kind of world do you live in? I don't know what you think the US is like, but, as a pretty normal woman, I haven't had tons of men running around like dogs trying to sniff my vagina so that it needs any kind of "protecting". Do you think "daddy" is going to follow his daughter around every where she goes to make sure that she won't get raped? That's absurd, it doesn't happen. Why don't you start by saying to yourself, "A woman is a human being just like me. Even a bullet can kill me in one shot. I am really not as strong as I think I am." and continue your thoughts from there.

Thatcher Pennywhistle - 2008-01-10
This is not funny at all, but +1 star because Billy Buttsex is a brilliant troll.

Quad9Damage - 2008-01-10
11 and 12 year olds naturally do not have the mental capacity to understand sex. Sure, they might know about the basic mechanics, but the physical and emotional implications are beyond reasoning. So, in the same way a child molester uses naivety to get what he wants, a purity ball is the perfect opportunity for Daddy to sweep in and have his daughter sign a contract that says she'll never, ever open her legs until she gets married- a contract that's BOUND to DADDY.

Flash forward three years later. Her sexuality is awakening, and she suddenly realizes she has needs and desires that she didn't know about when she went to that purity ball. She might not have the will to act on those desires from the outset,but now she realizes that if she did, she'd not only be breaking a promise to Daddy, but to God. Any sexual activity that she gets involved in would be followed by feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Beside that, there's the whole thing about pretty much MARRYING your dad. Rings, exchange of vows, a ceremony.. it's all there.

IrishWhiskey - 2008-01-10
The gay-bashing, Bible-thumping guy named after Buttsex defends purity balls? Never saw that coming.

Billy Buttsex - 2008-01-10
You're goddamned right I'm defending purity balls. Listen, I realize there's potential for abuse, so these things can look kinda iffy, but when it comes down to it, the relationship between a father and his daughter is an important thing and it has to be established as a protectionary relationship, and he SHOULD be the only man in her life until she finds someone who's responsible, caring, and isn't gonna leave her. Then the father passes the torch. The potential for abuse with women is a lot higher than it is with boys, so it's only logical that a father should take a stronger stance in relation to protecting her from negative attention that could result in getting her stuck with a loser.

The fact that we don't have a lot of ceremonies to signal the beginning of this relationship at the dawn of the kid's puberty is a shame. It leaves a lot of room for sexual confusion on the part of the girl, who's told jack shit about sex and practically thrown to the wolves, and then leaves her to find out about sex from her friends, who are the LAST people you want to teach her about sex.

And yes, I realize my name is Billy Buttsex.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-01-10
Hey, everyone: Imagine how incredibly creepy and unsettling all of this would sound coming out of me.

I know, right?

Roachbud - 2008-01-10
These purity balls are put on by fathers in the twighlight of their daughters' childhood, fathers who are loosing their grip on their offspring and try to grab on tight. They need to let go. Their daughters need dick from strange men.

Quad9Damage - 2008-01-10
I could offer more counterexamples for Billy Buttsex, but they've already been listed by everyone else. He just doesn't understand.

Quad9Damage - 2008-01-10
Actually, no. I changed my mind.

Billy Buttsex: What's wrong with sitting down and talking with your daughter, explaining the difference between good and bad people, and encouraging her to make informed decisions? You mean to tell me that as an alternative to that, you'd throw a big party entirely centered around her vagina and have her a sign an agreement that she's too young to understand?

You'd do that?

takewithfood - 2008-01-11
The "father/daughter relationships = important" argument is bullshit. There are a million and eleven ways for fathers and daughters to bond that don't require ceremonies, paperwork, oaths before god, and the transference of hymen ownership. Purity balls are _not_ primarily about fostering father/daughter relationships.

They also aren't really about preventing unwanted pregnancies. While the cause is worthy, the methods are ridiculous. There is a pretty big gap between practicing safe sex/abstinence, and _symbolically marrying your fucking father_.

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I get the impression that purity balls are, not surprisingly, about "purity"; they're about assigning a value to a woman on a scale of "acceptable" to "not". In the eyes of their fathers, these girls are, in some sense or another, "worth" more with their virginities intact. Don't hide behind fringe benefit arguments that you think are more palatable to your audience. It is transparent and undermines your defense.

Billy, it frightens me to see how little you think of women. You seem to take it as a given that women have no self control, as though when confronted by any and every willing man they shrug to themselves, drop their panties, lie back and think of England. That is seriously messed up, dude.

Every time purity balls come up, I ask myself the same ugly, admittedly cynical question: How many of these girls are just going through the motions because they're fucking terrified of their fathers? If your dad is the kind of dad who openly and proudly threatens to empty a shotgun into anyone who so much as looks at his daughter the wrong way, chances are you don't have a whole lot of choice about the purity ball thing.

Really, though, people can do whatever they like; as long as the girls involved aren't being pressured into signing away their free will, nobody is being hurt, so I don't care. I just find it really sad that so many fathers happily tell their daughters to their faces: "Honey, you're too stupid and slutty to be trusted with your own body. And no, your word isn't good enough, I want it on fucking paper," and call it love.

Billy Buttsex - 2008-01-11
Oh, takewithfood... you're killin' me here. Thanks for the respectful reply, though. I mean, I don't completely disagree that the whole Purity Ball thing is kinda strange, and maybe I wouldn't do this with my own daughter (who I don't have anyway), but I certainly wouldn't make fun of a guy who would.

My personal experience with women is that they're incredibly easy. I haven't slept around a whole lot (less than 15 in my lifetime, and I'm 24), but with the exception of one woman, I've gotten into almost every one of their pants on the first date. One girl held out until the third date, and only one girl outside of this group didn't have sex with me at all, nor did she have sex with anyone else to this day.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that girls ARE incredibly easy to sleep with, and I've kinda come around to realize that if a father wants to keep his girls from guys like me-- hey-- I wholeheartedly support them in their endeavor, however they do it. Ultimately, a woman who hasn't slept around with a lot of guys IS more valuable than a total whore, and fathers know this well, and to expect them to not promote good behavior and abstinence is a little silly.

Not to mention that-- who are we kidding here?-- this idea that "any man who steps in the way of a woman's sexuality wants to keep women caged" is a little 1975. Listen, morals keep you caged so that you can avoid the most horrible unpleasantries of life, and any father with any common sense realizes that he has to establish norms for behavior, and some of those norms involve keeping your daughter from fucking whoever she wants. I know it's not totally pro-feminist, but feminism's been a load of shit anyway, and look where it's gotten us: to a nation full of unfathered children and horrible divorces.

I support a man who does everything he can to keep his daughter from being the town slut.

Roachbud - 2008-01-11
I don't want a virgin on my wedding night, I want someone who I've been fucking for a long time and who can suck a mean dick. I don't care if they practiced on other guy's before me. I want someone who knows what they're doing. Sexual experience is a wonderful thing.

All feminism has done is unleash 50% of our population into the intellectual and economic worlds, making us better. All those shithole countries that keep women locked up are missing half of their potential.

Also, these guys aren't trying to stop their daughters from being sluts, their trying to stop their daughters from having any sex at all. It's a fools errand, I've seen other episodes of Real Time where they laugh at "devout Christians" who have tons of anal sex in order to save the holy hymen for marriage.

jaunch - 2008-01-12
Billy, you're only 24 and you've had sex with nearly 15 different women? And this isn't sleeping "around a whole lot?" Maybe I'm a prude, but I think 15 women by 24 is kind of, well, sleeping around a whole lot.

Maybe if your mom had forced you to symbolically marry her, you wouldn't have had so much sex from all those vicious women just waiting to take advantage of you. You poor thing. How did you survive the terror of nearly 15 vaginas robbing you of your innocence?

takewithfood - 2008-01-13
So, wow, Billy. Can we just take a moment to recap your comments?

You begin by claiming that purity balls are designed to protect the innocence of barely pubescent girls from losers and/or "wigger jocks" who only want to "invade" their vaginas, presumably without protection. You then insist that this is necessary because all women are whores - and you know this to be universally true because you have made it a habit of sleeping with a growing collection of them out of wedlock, and, it would appear, as early as is humanly possible.

Am I missing something, or are you gleefully admitting to being a prime example of why purity balls are as necessary as you seem to think they are? Please set me straight here, because I'm baffled as to how this makes sense to you, and how your morals are constructed so as to allow it. (I'm also terribly curious to know whether you're a loser or a wigger jock. You may be happy to know that you don't strike me as a wigger.)

And can I maybe suggest that, as a 24 year-old guy who lists his sexual conquests online and considers having ~15 meaningless sexual partners to be not sleeping around "a whole lot", you aren't qualified to decide who is or isn't a whore?

Billy Buttsex - 2008-01-13
Yeah, you guys are totally right. I was a total jerkoff, but the thing is that I've admitted it and come around, and now I defend abstinence and the kinds of parents who know there are guys out there like me and want to keep their daughters from them. I never once said that I was proud of myself or anything like that.

Cleaner82 - 2008-08-24
You might reflect that the world doesn't revolve around you, and women are sentient beings like men are, and it was those fifteen womens' choice to sleep with a scumbag like yourself. Daddy can't protect anyone their whole life, and a father's job, a PARENT'S job, is to prepare the child to go out into the world as a responsible adult, not to coddle them until they're 18 so they have no fucking clue what's going on.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-01-10
None of the shirts they made up were as unsettling as the real ones.
Innocent Bystander - 2008-01-10
My (kitty) Belongs to Daddy.
Aelric - 2008-01-10
girls should not be guilted into keeping their virginity when get to the age of consent. imagine, if you will, if there were the same pressure put on us guys? do you think we would follow through? probably not. in fact, i don't know anyone who waited till they were married to have sex, man or woman, religious or not. it's simply not practical. think of how things were when it was fairly normal, or at least widely accepted, that everyone would wait. there were alot of loveless marriages, unwanted newlywed pregnancies and eventual divorces. this is just ritualized crap.
coprolalia - 2008-01-10
I had never heard of purity balls until this aired, and ignorantly assumed it was something going on in, say, Saudi Arabia.

Should have known it was good ol' American white guys.
cognitivedissonance - 2008-01-10
My question, of course, is where are the Purity Balls for the sons? Or is using the word "Balls" inappropriate there?
Quad9Damage - 2008-01-10
Treating your son like an object instead of a person makes less sense. There aren't any liberation movements to weasel your way around.

dead_cat - 2008-01-19

...don't ask me why, but that sounds even creepier than the others.

takewithfood - 2008-01-11
"What happens in Vegas happens to someone else" made me giggle but not much else was funny, and the guests had nothing to say. Fun comments here, though.
kingarthur - 2008-01-11
Having lived in the belly of the bible belt beast in Mississippi, I can tell you a few things about this evangelical crap:

1. Most of the women who support these things are either your stereotypical soccer mom or had kids out of wedlock and then married the father, less because of any relationship and more because he knocked them up.

2. Mississippi has the highest teen pegnancy and pre-teen pregnancy rate in the entire U.S.

3. Number two has a helluva lot to do with religion.

4. Statistics on incest and molestation are amazingly high there.

5. Physical abuse of women by males is also really high, especially the more rural the part of the state you live in.
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