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Desc:'You goin' to jail.'
Category:Crime, Educational
Tags:shoplifting, schadenfreude, mom, white people, why the terrorists hate us
Submitted:Dinky Patterson
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Favorited 15 Times
Resubmit:j lzrd / swift idiot
Resubmit:j lzrd / swift idiot
Resubmit:The Townleybomb

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Comment count is 65
fatatty - 2008-05-16
You got da goods!

I love how happy the black cameraman is to see a spoiled white girl get in trouble with the law.

I love how happy I am to see a spoiled white girl get in trouble with the law.
Mad Struggle - 2008-05-16
I am also happy because of these things.

kingarthur - 2008-05-16
I am happy in the cameraman's happiness. Especially when he says "Ooo! You goin' to jail!"

Xenocide - 2008-05-16
Every time someone is arrested in this country, there needs to be a happy black man there saying "oooh! You goin' to jail!"

I don't care how much it costs to implement this.

wtf japan - 2008-05-16
I believe the statement was actually "Nah, nigga, you gwan to jail!" Also, this is the best thing ever.

Operation Cornflakes - 2008-05-16
This warms my heart.
AgentOrange - 2008-05-16
So much great. I love the camera guy, he is just full of wisdom.
Caminante Nocturno - 2008-05-16
The sounds of someone who has never had to face consequences before.
Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2008-05-16
She's an utterly spoiled brat, but I kind of feel bad watching her getting so upset. There was no need to sit on her.

They ought to show this to school kids and make out she like got maced and Tasered before being jailed. Although we all know that she got a 0 fine and her parents probably tried to sue the store.

Rape Ape - 2008-05-16
Funny, but are rent-a-cops really allowed to do this shit? I was under the impression all they can really do is try to talk yourself into giving up.
AgentOrange - 2008-05-16
You're not gonna get all Shitcock on us, are you?

William Burns - 2008-05-16
No, anyone can arrest anyone else they observe committing a crime in their presence using a reasonable amount of force. It's called a citizen's arrest.

5-Stars for the golden, syrupy white girl sadness.

baleen - 2008-05-16

That is an undercover cop, not a security card.

Severian - 2008-05-16
Undercover security guard.

klingerbgoode - 2008-05-16
the guy's a card, all right

Spoonybard - 2008-06-28
The citizen's arrest thing is correct. Some store loss prevention officers aren't allowed to physically restrain shoplifters, but that is a matter of company policy rather than legal right - the company wants to avoid the possibility of getting their pants sued off due to the actions of an over-zealous and under-trained LPO. I've never heard of a security force actually attached to a mall (rather than a single retail outlet) that wasn't trusted to make arrests by the company they work for.

steelcat - 2008-05-16
I predict a very drama-filled life ahead of this spoiled kid.
HURF BLURF DUH - 2008-05-16
He undercover! He undercover security! Ooo-weee!
Mad Struggle - 2008-05-24
I wish I have five more stars to give you.

Enjoy - 2008-05-16
Why The Terrorists Hate Us tag would be good.
Enjoy - 2008-05-16
Actually 'moans of the dying' might work as well hahaha

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-17
THE moans of the dying Enjoy, THE!

And yes, it's now a linkable tag.

God I freakin' LOVE! this camera man, he was at just the right place, at the perfect time to be there, and had everything he needed to say long-since planned out ahead of time.

It's like he just got paid his personal Reparations in full, and all it took was 2+ minutes of watching Whitey K.(leptomaniac) McRichbitch getting clobbered by the long arm of the ... Security Guards.

Still though, I think we can all fistpump and go BOOYAH for this video.

zatojones - 2008-05-16
can't do the time don't do the crime
Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2008-05-16
Where's the taser? :(
Camonk - 2008-05-18
I really think the taser would've been too much. You know in comedy, less is more.

Xenocide - 2008-05-16
You WANT your mom to see you getting arrested? Okay, then.

Of course, there's the possibility that her mom one of those incredibly permissive types, in which case this should be a learning experience for both of them.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2008-05-16
No, see, her mom would whisk her away magically by explaining to everyone how white she and her daughter are. Then this girl could go home and eat ice cream.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-08-16
This is the only way they'll learn.

Dib - 2008-05-16
From the title and trailer, I thought it was going to be a six year old girl and was expecting something much different. I like this direction much better.
gotterdamm - 2008-05-16
Every embarrassing event should be narrated by a wacky black guy.
I think the store should hire him specifically for this purpose.
Keefu - 2008-05-16
Gettin the girl, savin the day
Hooper_X - 2008-06-10
Goddamnit, I hate getting beaten to comments.


Udderdude - 2008-05-16
Black cameraman : American Hero.
kingarthur - 2008-05-17
Black Cameraman, Arthur The Weatherman, Mobile Alabama Leprechaun, Bub Rubb, and others should form a black superfriends or something.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-01-04
But who would be their archnemesis group of collaborative anti-Black Power media badguys to fight against?

baleen - 2008-05-16

I'd love to hear some of the dialog at school after this airs!
1394 - 2008-05-16
Best cameraman commentary since the "raped. in the butt" video.
dr tits - 2009-05-19
hahaha... yes.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2010-01-22



The God of Biscuits - 2008-05-16
+5 for schadenfreude tag
baumer - 2008-05-16
I am seriously unhappy with myself for not agreeing with everyone and for ruining the 5 stars

The black guy is the face of god among us and I will penitently give him a star.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-17
And you didn't even try to justify WHY you think Crackerella Whinesalot doesn't deserve the thick black verbal metaphorical cock in her mouth, did you now? DID YOU.

At least you know why I'm having to hit the brakes and call you out on your measly two stars.

Frank Rizzo - 2008-05-16
One time I got caught shoplifting a vid-ya game when I was like 14 or 15, a real deal cop came and wrote me a ticket for petite larceny. He informed me that it would be a good idea if I told my parents before the cops called them in a couple weeks to notify them of court preceedings.

I told them, and the cops never called and I havent heard anything about it since then.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-05-16
Petite Larceny? How exactly were you dressed when this happened?

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2008-05-16
Clever cops.

Nowadays your story would probably end with you in ER and posted all over Youtube.

Frank Rizzo - 2008-05-16
http://www.google.com/search?q=petite+larceny&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe= utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-05-17
Oh, you're going to have to do better than that.

Dib - 2008-05-19
The same happened to me, except I was smart enough to give a fake name and never heard back either.

Also, Petite Larceny sounds like a porn star name.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-06-17
"Petite Larceny" was the hooker with a heart of gold who I last paid money to, back in the 80s, when I was down in Vice City. She was a nice girl, but man, if you pissed her off, she'd cut you like a slice of butter. Kinda reminds me of watching that young Catalina kid growing up. She had a mouth like a sailor at the age of 5. Having that many brothers will do that to you I guess. I wonder how she's doing these days? Ah, but I digress.

Seris - 2008-05-16
You can almost hear her wanting to shout back at the guy

alarmcall - 2008-05-21
"dare go da goods... you goin jail"
fluffy - 2008-05-24
Civilian journalism.
tamago - 2008-05-25
Sassy black cameraman is my favourite since the "Dick Cheney in the Bushes" cameraman.
Chip - 2008-05-25
Pure joy.
Torture the Artist - 2008-06-24
I think this might seriously be my favorite video on this entire website.
buttnutt - 2008-06-25
dat nigga strong
plaid_knight - 2008-07-04
5 stars for schadenfreude, and I am sure this magical little flower has an exciting life ahead of her.

I'd give it another 10 stars for the wacky commentary, but five is apparently the max I can give.
bac - 2008-08-03
I'm so happy now. It's warming almost. incidentally I'm also happy I know now what the word schadenfreude means.
RocketBlender - 2008-10-09
soci-o-path - 2008-10-13
I like to think that the cameraman is also the fireman from the vid where the fat kid gets stuck in the hole.
Jeff Fries - 2008-11-06
It's like an alternate ending for The Goonies, where only Andy survives, the cave exits into a Target, and no one believes that the jewels are hers.
zerobackup - 2009-01-02
Her calling her mom while cuffed and just screaming "MOOOOOOM!" into the phone while it was held at waist level is great. It probably scared the shit out of her mother.
Desidiosus - 2009-01-05
This poor, poor misunderstood child. She shouldn't have to suffer because she felt peer pressure or wanted something she couldn't afford. My heart goes out to her.

Man Who Fights Like Woman - 2009-01-10
I love this. Thank you for resubmitting it.
joelkazoo - 2009-06-23
Seeing spoiled white rich babies get their comeuppance always cheers me up.
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