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Desc:Bill Gates has ruined them newfangled computer machines!!!
Category:Humor, Science & Technology
Tags:Old People, Bill Gates, Andy Rooney, Why is that dang switch always moving?
Submitted:meamlegion
Date:12/02/08
Views:2674
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Comment count is 39
Frank Rizzo
"I'm an old man. I'm confused! I thought I paid for it. What's my name? Will you take me. home?"

oh grandpa...
citrusmirakel
I've submitted a couple Rooney videos before, and they always get voted down in the hopper, which is a shame. This one literally had me in tears with laughter.
IrishWhiskey
If Bill Gates is so smart, then why don't computers dispense milkshakes? My typewriter never asked for a password, and it never threatened me with a prison sentence! It once told me I needed to kill a hooker or it would burn down my house, but that's a different story. Where was I. Oh yeah, I had an onion on my belt...
charmlessman
... which was the style at the time.

baleen

my word processor gave me gonorrhea, and it DID cause dick dripping, and we COULD NOT get rid of it, and WE LIKED IT THAT WAY.
Caminante Nocturno
DIE ALREADY
IrishWhiskey
I'm not mad at him for being clueless. I know many older people who don't understand computers that are fine, intelligent people. But at least they would have the sense not to go on TV and pretend they do.

futurebot
And really, it's not even completely his fault - 60 minutes is the one putting him on the air. At what point does an Andy Rooney segment become exploitation of the elderly for the public's amusement? And how are we not depraved voyeurs for watching this?

Syd Midnight
That's my take on it, someone spends 5 minutes goading him into a rant by pretending to completely agree with everything he says, then they slowly back up until they're off camera.

It's not exploitation until he's in a wheelchair and can't come after you. Up 'til then it's respecting his opinion.

DerangedGoblin
What is this medicine? With my typewriter, I just died when I got sick. Now that doctors use computers, I have to go on courses of antibiotics and steroids.
BHWW
And what's with these kids today, with their hula-hoops and their rock and roll?
Xiphias
he raises some very good points regarding interface design and human factors
Frank Rizzo
oh like what, the MAIN POWER SUPPLY BUTTON THAT NO ONE TOUCHES BUT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THAT IS LOCATED ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK WHERE THE POWER SUPPLY IS!!!!

yeah fuck that button no one touches ever.

Goofy Gorilla
Hey I didn't know you posted here!

Are you talking about the start button to turn off the computer? The generation of people that finds that confusing(the people that have to relate computers to automobiles since that's the only piece of post iron-age equipment they have any real knowledge of) is dying off in droves. See: this really old dude and Gallagher.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I believe he's referring to the fact that when new computers are introduced for model and year the only new part is very very small but incompatible with previous models for the very purposeful reason of heightening profit.

That having been said, Andy pretty much flushed his point by WAH WE DIDNT NEED SECURITY BACK IN MY DAY WE COULD HAVE JUST USED A SAFE BACK IN THE 40S PASSWORD SHMASSWORD

Flux
No he doesn't. Assigning undue importance to the human language meaning of labels used in software is a cripplingly debilitating habit that you would do your users no favor by indulging.

Syd Midnight
I thought Bill Gates huge crime against humanity was retarding computers down to the point that just about anyone could use them. Rooney seems unable to or unwilling to meet it half way and learn how to use the damn thing, preferring to just complain instead about how much better his typewriter was.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Why can't computers be as fast as my mule?

pastorofmuppets
Buying 7 computers in 6 years is not your everyday technophobia. He could have spent that money on an assistant who could explain to him what the manual does.

I'll start the rumor now: Andy Rooney was Apple's first choice for "I'm a PC", but the turkey neck didn't play well with focus groups.
Chancho
His life would be much easier if he used Linux and vi to write his stories.
RomancingTrain
They've got a big cell phone for old people, maybe they need a computer for them too. Maybe it loads a word processor on start-up, maybe it only has that and a spreadsheet and solitaire. An you only have to click shut down once.
Bruce182
Am I getting in or out of the shower?
chumbucket
jesus christ rooner! just say windows sucks balls and be done with it!
Hooker
I'm assuming he had to buy seven computers in six years because, due to Alzheimer's, he'd keep forgetting the passwords he set.
coprolalia
I'd tell him to buy a Mac, but the concept of the Apple key alone would probably sent him into a fit.

Doesn't he have any kids to help him figure this stuff out?
UnderANeonHalo
Hey, Andy Rooney is funny!
boba.
the best is how the announcer is trying not to laugh at him after the segment
Cleaner82
Yeah, you're welcome Andy.
Cleaner82
Also, I enjoy how your standard old person will move seamlessly from bemoaning the modern man's lack of self-reliance and responsibility, and whining like a crippled monkey when they are pressed to do something.

Spit Spingola
Andy Rooney rules.
Ersatz
Um, Andy, the tubes on old TVs took about as long to warm up and display a good picture as your computer takes to boot.
HarrietTubmanPI
And next on 60 minutes is an old person whom we give things so that he will be confused and write about them.
Camonk
And can you believe the way Ted Turner designed the TV so I'd need three remotes just to lower the volume? Why if Ted Turner had designed the computer, you'd need four keyboards just to type in your password!
Rudy
Dude's got a point about the "Start" button. It should be re-named the "Turn Off And Do Other Stuff" button in order to unconfuse the elderly.
CharlesSmith
Yeah the "You have to click START to STOP!" bit was gravy

pastorofmuppets
He didn't write it though. I think it used to be the sideways message on Bazooka gum wrappers.

Also, if Rooney used his PC for porn, like you're *supposed to*, he'd understand what the passwords were all about.

meamlegion
truly this is Andy Rooney at his most ornery.
Pie Boy
and now let me talk about that goatse thing
hammsangwich
Besides the fact that Bill Gates has probably never built a computer in his life, and he has probably had 0% input on the UI since Windows 1.0, then, ya, this is pretty accurate.
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