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Desc:Oh no big whale mad at cripple author who will win it mystery
Category:Humor
Tags:Stephen King, Twilight, fangirl, stephenie meyer, bad teeth
Submitted:Anonymous
Date:02/12/09
Views:3420
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Comment count is 36
Rovin
*Big huffy sigh* "Okay."

"...generated so much more attention then, as far as I can remember, any of your books ever did."

Um, King doesn't write teenybopper romance serial novels.
baleen
NIGHT OF THE HAMPYRE

Corman's Inferno
BUTTERMELT ROAD

NOSE LIKE A FOOKIN' SKELETON

Disaster
I love the fat chicks in party hats desc.

Camonk
That's the main reason this video is getting my stars, my precious, hard-earned stars.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Man. Kathy Bates' kid has really bad taste in writers if she thinks "Twilight" was actually good.
IrishWhiskey
I like when she has to walk back the statement that King will never write a book as good as Twilight. She pointedly defends the work on popularity, but never quality.

Also she completely agrees with King's point about sexuality in the book, but doesn't realize it.

IrishWhiskey
Not meant as a reply. Although it makes sense about Kathy's kid. After all, her mother thought Paul Sheldon was a good writer, and he wrote similar dreck.

socialist_hentai
"I don;t care but i'll bitch about it 10 minutes to the internets!"

also
"ahhhmazing" makes a come-back


socialist_hentai
also! where's "hambeast" tag!?!?

Lauritz Melchior
"A HAMMMMBAGGG?!?!?!"

lemmyisgod
Where's the "Bride of Staypuft" tag?
dueserpenti
I love this thing! Let's have some more!
Teased Vagina
Pork cunt
StanleyPain
For those unaware (I only got a few seconds into the video, I hate this womanthing) Stephen King in an interview said something like "Meyer doesn't really have much talent."

Needless to say, it started a shitstorm of CONTROVERSY amongst even surprisingly casual Twilight fans. I thin King just did it knowing that would happen.
chumbucket
what's hilarious is that the only spokes(person/thing) for Twilight fans to PoeTV is this hambeast. that says a lot right there

SteamPoweredKleenex
He's right, especially if this is truly considered a Vampire novel. The "monsters" are even more neutered than in the old cartoon "Count Duckula."

It's tailor-made for the borderline to heavy fanfic crowd. It's as formulaic to get girls to sigh over it as the average "Sweet Valley High" publication.

And I'll be the first one up with a list of Stephen King complaints, even though I devour his work like popcorn (i.e. "Cell" had some VERY odd ideas about how computers and viruses work, "Song of Susannah" was horrid, and his male protagonists almost always reflect his state of income as they were poor in his early work and now are mostly independently wealthy older guys). But King has proven himself over and over to know how to create compelling characters that you care about, so even if the monster is ludicrous, you still give two shits about what happens to them.

StanleyPain
Well, even if you think King's writing has gone into the shitter over the last 10 years or so, like me, his work, especially his early work, absolutely towers over the work of people like Meyer and this whole new generation of fanfic.net retards who now don the moniker "author."

What's especially sad is that people like this trollbeast have likely never read a King novel, and certainly none of his truly classic work, so they would have no understanding of what a real horror novel is like. They are not old enough to remember an age when horror novels were taken seriously and were not routinely Mary Sue vehicles for inbred basement dwellers and authors wrote them specifically to try and disturb and unsettle people, not so that demons and werewolves and vampires could have more elaborate fucking fantasies.

SteamPoweredKleenex
"...elaborate fucking fantasies."

Ah, so you're familiar with the work of Laurell K. Hamilton, eh? :)

SixDigitDebt
I agree that King's work has gone down some since his beginnings, but he's still cranking out some pretty damn fine gems. 'Everything's Eventual' revived my love for short stories.

5 stars for when she insults him over his nose and then retracts it.

-1 for my computer coming without a button that kills the person in the currently viewed video.

+all the stars in the universe for baleen's HAMPYRE comment that made me spew coffee all over my desk

MissLadyArtemis
Sadly, yes, I know of Laurell K. Hamilton. I have a friend who collects Hamilton, and the twilight books.

Ghoul
Twilight fan girls are the worst. They all seem to realize that these books are garbage and that the main character is a self-insertion fantasy for the author, but none of them care. Hell, I can just picture Stephanie Meyer furiously rubbing her fat genitalia with her left hand while farting out another awful description of Edward Cullen's sparkly abs and rapier wit with her right.

I'm going to 5 this because I only made it 10 seconds into the video before turning it off. What a disgusting tub of goo.
oddeye
Stephen King isn't exactly the standard by which you should judge other authors by, on account of most of his work being royally shit, but fucking hell Meyer is terrible. I can't even write her name without bile rising into my nose.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Even if you don't like Stephen King much, I heartily recommend his book, "On Writing." It's a good primer on how to be a decent writer, and he's very even-handed on various literary topics.

For one, he talks about symbolism. He says if it shows up in your novel, great, but don't try to shoe-horn it in. He gives the Harry Potter series as one that's just pure narrative with no over-arching themes stapled to it to seem deep.

He also has a lot of anecdotes about his own career, which is pretty interesting stuff, given how he got started and where he was living. It's pretty much a rags to riches tale.
fatatty
This is the scariest thing Stephen King has ever created.
ncy
Agreed. Five for the comment.

Dicknuts
I've read the twilight series. All some 1600 pages of it. NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS. It's a good example of what happens when you let a Mormon write books. She spends the whole book building up to some climactic battle that just gets diffused at the last minuet and everybody goes home.

I should have never read it, and I should have never watched the movie, but somehow it's hard to avoid when most of your friends are girls.

MissLadyArtemis
I am a girl, most my friends are dumb girls, and I totally avoided it. Does this make me a better man than you?

mr666
I knew the second I read Kings comments that this cow would moo her outrage online. Well done, Mr. King, well done.
Xiphias
this video has the most words per comment I've seen ever
Kibblesmith
"You have to be a certain kind of person to understand the twilight books... They're a wild fantasy that you want your life to be."

Holy moly. Every line in this is incredibly revealing. It's like she's cracking open the rib cage of this entire sad Twilight beast and explaining what all the organs do.
Wonko the Sane
fat
azazel
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE
punch drunk babies
"First of all, Twilight has generated sooo much public interested and sooo much.... gr... OHHHHHH SHI-"
Honest Abe
i hate the shrek series
MissLadyArtemis
What I take from this : How dare a man who writes books I'll never be able to fathom insult the simplistic drivel that I *can* comprehend!
And because that's what I took from it, it gets five stars.
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