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Category:Classic Movies, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Star Wars, fat, short and sweet, biggs, Porkins
Submitted:RomancingTrain
Date:02/15/09
Views:2156
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Comment count is 28
Cap'n Profan!ty
i think he was "holding" his bowels, the fat fuck
ProfessorChaos

Porkins met his death due to the fact that he was flying lower then he thought he was. He routinely kept his gravity compensation up a little higher then most pilots regularly did (perhaps as a side effect of being a fatass). As a result, he was unaware of the Necessity to pull up, since he could not feel his X-wing drifting downward, thus flying through the debris of the exploding turbolaser tower. This is according to Wedge Antilis's analysis long after the battle of Yavin in "X-Wing Rouge Squadron".

Meatsack Jones
5 stars for letting me know I am not the only complete geek to have this knowledge.

StanleyPain
"Rouge Squadron?" Wasn't that the game about the first all-gay division of rebel fighters?

allcaps
How can you feel a spacecraft drifting downwards in a vacuum? Did the Deathstar have an atmosphere? A better analysis would have to be: The generous folds of his cheery cheeks obscured the giant metal ball approaching rapidly from beneath.

ProfessorChaos
I think most Star Wars fans learn to check "Physics" at the door.

allcaps
So it didn't have an atmosphere? Because you could hear the lasers and everything.

glasseye
It was a series of novels too.

robotkarateman
I can't imagine an object of that size not having a gravitational pull. The Death Star probably had one too.

Jeff Fries
"So it didn't have an atmosphere? Because you could hear the lasers and everything."

Mass synaesthesia

Aelric
Never Forget
gazebo
I've always wondered if the actor knew his character's name was going to be 'Porkins' or if George Lucas was just being a dick.
garcet71283
Probably the latter.

oddeye
What better person to play a character called Porkins then a bearded fat-ass? Only a talking pig could top that.
minimalist
Lucas just didn't have the CGI technology at the time to pull it off. Look for it in the upcoming 35th Anniversary Special Edition! Porkins even has a musical number after his death.

OxygenThief
A well choreographed musical number with CGI Jets fight dancing CGI Sharks.

Camonk
Oh I wish you weren't just being a dick and joking about that. It'd be awesome.

Also, they should digitally replace Alec Guiness's Obi Wan's ghost with Ewan McGregor's. That'd be awesome. I'm not being sarcastic, either.

Chancho
The porkwing fighter fires butter lasers
PegLegPete
Porkins, Jek Porkins.
BHWW
In the first draft of the Star Wars script, the character's name was Lt. Chubbywubby Chubster Porko Fatty Fat Fat Fatass McFatty Boomboom.
Jeff Fries
Fat guy in a little plane
Keefu
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hootkins

Hootkins died of pancreatic cancer in Santa Monica, California on October 23, 2005 at the age of 57.

:(


R
I
P
The McK
Sonofabitch, he was in The Pope Must Die!

Urist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoy4_h7Pb3M
roughnready66
he gives a Chris Farley yell at the end
B. Weed
http://calamityjon.livejournal.com/1103433.html
blackmetallic
You sure dont sound "all right" at the end there, Mr Glass Half Full...
Evilhead
PORKIIIIIIIINS!!!!
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