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Category:Classic Movies, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Star Wars, fat, short and sweet, biggs, Porkins
Submitted:RomancingTrain
Date:02/15/09
Views:2157
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Comment count is 28
Cap'n Profan!ty - 2009-02-15
i think he was "holding" his bowels, the fat fuck
ProfessorChaos - 2009-02-15

Porkins met his death due to the fact that he was flying lower then he thought he was. He routinely kept his gravity compensation up a little higher then most pilots regularly did (perhaps as a side effect of being a fatass). As a result, he was unaware of the Necessity to pull up, since he could not feel his X-wing drifting downward, thus flying through the debris of the exploding turbolaser tower. This is according to Wedge Antilis's analysis long after the battle of Yavin in "X-Wing Rouge Squadron".

Meatsack Jones - 2009-02-15
5 stars for letting me know I am not the only complete geek to have this knowledge.

StanleyPain - 2009-02-15
"Rouge Squadron?" Wasn't that the game about the first all-gay division of rebel fighters?

allcaps - 2009-02-15
How can you feel a spacecraft drifting downwards in a vacuum? Did the Deathstar have an atmosphere? A better analysis would have to be: The generous folds of his cheery cheeks obscured the giant metal ball approaching rapidly from beneath.

ProfessorChaos - 2009-02-16
I think most Star Wars fans learn to check "Physics" at the door.

allcaps - 2009-02-16
So it didn't have an atmosphere? Because you could hear the lasers and everything.

glasseye - 2009-02-16
It was a series of novels too.

robotkarateman - 2009-02-16
I can't imagine an object of that size not having a gravitational pull. The Death Star probably had one too.

Jeff Fries - 2009-02-16
"So it didn't have an atmosphere? Because you could hear the lasers and everything."

Mass synaesthesia

Aelric - 2009-02-15
Never Forget
gazebo - 2009-02-15
I've always wondered if the actor knew his character's name was going to be 'Porkins' or if George Lucas was just being a dick.
garcet71283 - 2009-02-15
Probably the latter.

oddeye - 2009-02-15
What better person to play a character called Porkins then a bearded fat-ass? Only a talking pig could top that.
minimalist - 2009-02-15
Lucas just didn't have the CGI technology at the time to pull it off. Look for it in the upcoming 35th Anniversary Special Edition! Porkins even has a musical number after his death.

OxygenThief - 2009-02-15
A well choreographed musical number with CGI Jets fight dancing CGI Sharks.

Camonk - 2009-02-15
Oh I wish you weren't just being a dick and joking about that. It'd be awesome.

Also, they should digitally replace Alec Guiness's Obi Wan's ghost with Ewan McGregor's. That'd be awesome. I'm not being sarcastic, either.

Chancho - 2009-02-15
The porkwing fighter fires butter lasers
PegLegPete - 2009-02-15
Porkins, Jek Porkins.
BHWW - 2009-02-15
In the first draft of the Star Wars script, the character's name was Lt. Chubbywubby Chubster Porko Fatty Fat Fat Fatass McFatty Boomboom.
Jeff Fries - 2009-02-15
Fat guy in a little plane
Keefu - 2009-02-15
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hootkins

Hootkins died of pancreatic cancer in Santa Monica, California on October 23, 2005 at the age of 57.

:(


R
I
P
The McK - 2011-04-16
Sonofabitch, he was in The Pope Must Die!

Urist - 2009-02-15
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoy4_h7Pb3M
roughnready66 - 2009-02-15
he gives a Chris Farley yell at the end
B. Weed - 2009-02-16
http://calamityjon.livejournal.com/1103433.html
blackmetallic - 2009-02-16
You sure dont sound "all right" at the end there, Mr Glass Half Full...
Evilhead - 2009-04-14
PORKIIIIIIIINS!!!!
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