This is the best tie-tying instructional video I could find online - there are some hilariously bad ones with these goofy little kids that are POETV material in their own right, but I posted this one because it's pretty damn solid.
Of course, wearing a tie means you have to leave the wolf t-shirt in the closet, so I don't know why this is even on the internet to begin with.
I checked out the Windsor video. I've been doing it wrong for years.
Today I learned about tie autism:
Number Sequence Name Self-releasing
1. Lo Ri Co T Small knot No
2. Li Ro Li Co T Four-in-hand Yes
3. Lo Ri Lo Ri Co T Kelvin No
4. Lo Ci Ro Li Co T Nicky (self-releasing Pratt) Yes
5. Lo Ci Lo Ri Co T Pratt No
6. Li Ro Li Ro Li Co T Victoria Yes
7. Li Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Half-Windsor No
8. Li Ro Ci Ro Li Co T Half-Windsor variant Yes
12. Lo Ri Lo Ci Ro Li Co T St Andrew Yes
18. Lo Ci Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Plattsburgh No
23. Li Ro Li Co Ri Lo Ri Co T Cavendish No
31. Li Co Ri Lo Ci Ro Li Co T Windsor Yes
44. Lo Ri Lo Ri Co Li Ro Li Co T Grantchester Yes
54. Lo Ri Co Li Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Hanover No
This is how I've been tying my tie since I was 12 and I've never known any other way. Does this make me cool, unsophisticated, or neither?
Oh sweety, no. The four-in-hand is an ugly, ugly, crooked knot. You want the pratt or the half-windsor. The four in hand should only be used if you're going for the "loosened, playfully askew necktie Japanese salaryman getting his drink on" look. It has its place but that place is not a job interview.
Pshaw, sir. The windsor family are staid and so very corporate. The four-in-hand is great entirely because it's relaxed. IT SAYS I AM CASUAL YET CONFIDENT.
The half-Windsor is just the four-in-hand knot done twice. It looks a lot better without really needing to know anything extra.
I consider myself an exceptional slob, thank you very much.
Sorry, they all look dorky. Why not just get it over with and wear a bowtie?
If guys are feeling so left out for accessories, couldn't you just go back to increasingly stiff and starched collars?
Should I feel ashamed that I've made it to 30 without having to know how to do this.
4 for the Dork-in-hand knotter.
music makes it feel like this narrator was Songsmithed
|Menudo con queso |
"Adjust the knot one last time, mutter a quavering prayer, 'Please God, let this be the day I get a job again,' then put on your jacket. When waiting for the interview, be sure to check the reception area for free snacks you can stuff into your pockets."
Lord bless you craven lunatics and your knot idolatry. Another notch in the belt for things to know that imply more knowledge than they actually should.
|karl hungus |
the music is what makes it. also, only cunts wear button-collars.
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