"Did he talk to Adam and Eve before he wrote that I DOUBT IT."
"Somebody is seriously wrong."
"You could learn a lot in 900 years."
"The big ones were big, the little ones were little."
"There are all kinds of reasons for putting babies on the Ark."
"Noah probably never saw a Chihuahua in his life."
"We'd like to show our students how dumb you Christians really are. I said 'I would be honored to come for that.'"
"There is no absolute scientific proof that it [the Ark] is even on the mountain."
"The liberals are really good at getting us to argue about the wrong topic. They're always asking me 'should we be teaching creationism in public schools?'... there is another question we need to ask first: 'should we have public schools'?" [applause]
"Back in those days they called them DRAGONS."
"Man if you could figure out a way to kill a dragon you would be a hero."
"You don't believe in fire breathing dragons do you? OH YEAH."
.... and that's just the first half an hour.
Cryptozoology is a highly regarded theory amongst the homeless guys in Canada who threaten cops with knifes. Also doughy men from the internet with neckbeards
-Roman swords discovered in Arizona with dragons on them
-Ancient stones depicting brain surgery and steam engines
-Marco Polo watched dragons pull chariots in China