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Desc:Astoundingly depressing on so very many levels.
Category:Advertisements, Short Films
Tags:Chess, screech, dustin diamond, child actors
Submitted:parlagi
Date:04/25/09
Views:3626
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Comment count is 34
citrusmirakel
So, are certain people just born without dignity? Or do you just gradually let it slip away over time? What exactly is happening here?
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Guess that would explain why he hasn't offed himself yet.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
:(
Knuckles
This caused me literal pain to watch. Like being punched in the chest.
Aunt
Clearly one of the most underrated character actors of our time.
simon666
I disagree. I believe that "Screech" was Dustin Diamond restraining himself, and this is the "true" him.

Wonko the Sane
jesus
voodoo_pork
So when do the chicks come in?
allcaps
What's sadder? That Screech has come to this, or that international chess masters are apparently cheaper to rent than proper lighting?
Rodents of Unusual Size
Someone got access to a Halloween costume shop and somehow put that, chess, and Dustin Diamond together in their minds. This literally has to be the work of an insane person.
mashedtater
needs a different tag.

dustin diamond is not and never was an actor.

he is a black hole of a person, the personification of an "um" in a sentence.
Chancho
Do I have to wear a costume while playing chess?
delicatessen
you don't?

sosage
Stars for the car wreck.

WTF is his last costume? King of the tomatoes?
Jimmy Labatt
From the Youtube comments:

"This is easily the most depressing video in the shortest amount of time I've ever seen in my life. I don't get the feeling at any point while watching this bizarre spectacle of failure that Diamond, the so-called "International Senior Chess Master", or anybody involved with this film at any point had even the smallest amount of fun or good feelings about it. Everyone was miserable. Diamond was, as he has always been, painfully conscious of his status as a grade-A loser and has-been (or rather, never was), the I.S.C.M. wasn't even sure who Diamond was or what he, the I.S.C.M., was doing there, and anybody in charge of filming was enveloped in a cloud of loneliness, despair and utter misery that few human beings have ever been subjected to in the history of the world."

Yep, that pretty much sums it up!
Xenocide
And so the game of chess was ruined forever.
Jimmy Labatt
So...you up for some backgammon?

The Faghorn
Fuck you, Parlagi. I'm worse off now than I was before.
BHWW
Dustin Diamond is a classic example of a has-been who never was, as the previously quoted Youtube comment above put it. Yet another talentless Z-lister who acquired some dubious fame for awhile which soon faded and instead of accepting it and moving on will do anything that might get them some of that feeling back, anything for attention even if it means reducing themselves to the status of a walking punchline.
KnowFuture
What in the hell is that third costume even supposed to be?
kamlem
From the wiki...

"In 2001, Diamond released the video Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess in which he shows various techniques for becoming a better chess player. It is punctuated by appearances by Diamond, in various costumes, such as dressing as Screech, Liberace and AL JOLSON-STYLE BLACK FACE."

Clip is incomplete!
William Burns
Dustin Diamond is one shotglass full of semen from being Chris-Chan.
Camonk
Urkel snorts derisively at this guy and says, Fuck off, loser.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
I'd take this moment to point out he's likely able to kick your ass.

+5 for this fucking disaster video.
kingofthenothing
he's not likely able to kick my ass. Not that I'm special, I just believe I could point out the existence of this video and make him cry, and that would be my edge.

delicatessen
Hey, um, so this confirms the existence of satan, right?

SolRo
Nope, this proves the athiests are right.

delicatessen
I have a feeling that we can both be right. :(

benchmark
Is that Dustin Diamond's actual voice? If not, then why is he talking like that?
rev.dinosaur
The poster forgot the ACTING! tag.

Cleaner82
The Vern Fonk guy has more talent in the upper half of his cowboy hat.
snothouse
The only way that could be sadder is if it was an interactive CD ROM.
IrishWhiskey
On November 13, 2006, Diamond's sex tape Screeched, aka Saved by the Smell, was released by Red Light District. It features a bride-to-be, Summer Price, her bridesmaid, and Diamond all engaging in various sexual acts, including Diamond receiving a Dirty Sanchez and a Cleveland Steamer. According to Diamond, the tape got out because he and some friends allegedly exchange such tapes and he believed that the tape was not leaked by any of those people, but that it may have been the significant other of one of them. Diamond's manager acknowledged there was hope that the tape would raise his client's profile. - Wikipedia

So... I guess this isn't the most degrading thing he's done.

Rudy
Eh, I'd call it a draw.

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