Well, it's not just the Daily Show then. Fake news is just generally more insightful than the other variety.
Data's cat had better be in this goddamn movie, is all I'm saying.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
The cat should be in the movie because he is a time traveler. I know because I just decided he was.
There are a lot of good moments in this, but I think my favorite is the old fight scene from the first series.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Has anyone asked that elderly black woman what she thinks of the movie? Maybe one of those tears wasn't meant for Obama.
The film is obviously inferior, a cut up mess by a bunch of FUCKING hacks who DON'T CARE about maintaining the canon, like get this in this ABORTION the Enterprise is built on Earth instead of the UTOPIA PLANITIA shipyards of MARS, and if they can't get little details like THAT right THESE FUCKING JERKS are just making a stupid shiny film that will please the mindless NORMALS and MUNDANES and is just a huge FU to the LOYAL TRUE FANS.
(The above is a summary of about a billion posts I've seen about JJ Abrams' Star Trek)
Really? I thought the Onion was just being dumb.
I didn't think fans of Star Trek would actually hate this.
They're going to be way more upset when they see the movie.
They're basing the reboot in essentially an "alternate universe/alternate history" so that they don't have to give a shit about beardo continuity ever again with this series.
The idea of 'canon' is usually security-blanket OCD bullshit.
"way back in the 40s or something"
I can't shake the awful feeling that this is viral marketing.
But five "I may be a tool but it's funny damnit" stars.
UPDATE: After seeing the movie I have deemed that Star Trek may live. For now.
Five stars for the premise, but -1 for The Onion's usual lack of creativity beyond that.
Or five stars. Whatever.
Give 'em the fives stars.
They've lowered our expectations enough that pulling off a competent bit is worth five stars.
this five is specifically for the "way back in the forties or something" line.
|Maggot Brain |
Can't wait for the director's cut.
You know, it doesn't really take Asperger's to think that a movie with kindergarten Kirk pulling a Thelma & Louise isn't going to be that great.
I just want another Star Trek IV =\
Did you know they already made Star Trek IV? That you can watch it on your VCR machine since you're stuck a hundred years in the past? And that it's objectively not very good?
Objectively...to people with crippling canon issues.
|Innocent Bystander |
Good gags on the shot of the forum topics as well.
|B. Weed |
And then life eclipses the Onion once again.
The bit about subtitles for Klingons was good. Five stars for that and for the Onion managing to fill two and a half minutes with two and a half minutes' worth of jokes.
So can we come to a consensus that the Onion video shorts are fairly consistently funny now or are we going to have "I can't believe i'm 5ing this!!!!!" every time one of these is posted.
i'm pretty sure we're gonna go with the latter. we always do.
Not when most of them are still stretched way beyond their ability to support the premise.
Thank god we have the people on the internet to make fun of nerds?
Turns out this movie fucking sucked.
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