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Desc:Long time fans say JJ Abrams' enjoyable, engaging prequel betrays what Star Trek is all about
Category:Classic TV Clips, Classic Movies
Tags:star trek, trekkies, Kirk, gorn, onion
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Comment count is 43
Dinanukht - 2009-05-05
Well, it's not just the Daily Show then. Fake news is just generally more insightful than the other variety.
Xenocide - 2009-05-05
Data's cat had better be in this goddamn movie, is all I'm saying.
zatojones - 2009-05-05
His great, great, great, great grandfather is in it.

Xenocide - 2009-05-05

The cat should be in the movie because he is a time traveler. I know because I just decided he was.

TheDevil'sWhore - 2009-05-06
Can the cat be the leader of a tribble army??

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-05-06
The cat ALREADY time travelled. He was originally in Kirk's time, probably doing important things that time travelling cats do. By the time you get to TNG he has already accomplished saving the Enterprise several times over, unbeknownst to the crew.

As I write this I am next to a cat that resembles Spot, who is most likely Spot's progenitor, or possibly Spot will come back in time and have sex with my cat who will then...but you know I've said too much already.

dementomstie - 2009-05-06
This tangent makes me want to see Cat from Red Dwarf in the Star Trek movie.

Spoonybard - 2009-05-08
Spot isn't a time-traveling cat, but he did switch genders when the writers decided he should give birth to kittens

Lothy - 2009-05-05
There are a lot of good moments in this, but I think my favorite is the old fight scene from the first series.
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-05-05
Has anyone asked that elderly black woman what she thinks of the movie? Maybe one of those tears wasn't meant for Obama.
Desidiosus - 2009-05-05
Maybe it was Nichelle Nichols trying to get the movie yanked from theatres?

Merzbau - 2009-05-06
What, seriously, Desidiosus?

BHWW - 2009-05-05
The film is obviously inferior, a cut up mess by a bunch of FUCKING hacks who DON'T CARE about maintaining the canon, like get this in this ABORTION the Enterprise is built on Earth instead of the UTOPIA PLANITIA shipyards of MARS, and if they can't get little details like THAT right THESE FUCKING JERKS are just making a stupid shiny film that will please the mindless NORMALS and MUNDANES and is just a huge FU to the LOYAL TRUE FANS.

(The above is a summary of about a billion posts I've seen about JJ Abrams' Star Trek)
Syd Midnight - 2009-05-06
See if the studio had smarts they'd have commissioned this Onion clip as viral advertisement. It makes me want to go see the movie. Now I'm expecting a fun sci-fi adventure instead of, y'know, a Star Trek movie.

(Another Star Trek III would have been acceptable though, as it was self-parody enough to be kinda fun.)

Camonk - 2009-05-06
Really? I thought the Onion was just being dumb.

I didn't think fans of Star Trek would actually hate this.

StanleyPain - 2009-05-06
They're going to be way more upset when they see the movie.


They're basing the reboot in essentially an "alternate universe/alternate history" so that they don't have to give a shit about beardo continuity ever again with this series.

sliggy - 2009-05-07
Anybody who thinks that the official Star Trek canon has any kind of internal consistency is delusional.

Cleaner82 - 2009-05-18
The idea of 'canon' is usually security-blanket OCD bullshit.

zerobackup - 2009-07-28
Thanks Cleaner, you have given shape to my previously ethereal opinions on all hardcore sci-fi fanboys, but especially Star Trek. They somehow extrapolate all of these intricate theories from what essentially, even with updated CGI effects, would be shown on fucking Tuesday afternoon on the Sci Fi channel if it were made today.

Bozo - 2009-05-05
"way back in the 40s or something"
Cleaner82 - 2009-05-06
I can't shake the awful feeling that this is viral marketing.

But five "I may be a tool but it's funny damnit" stars.
Cleaner82 - 2009-05-18
UPDATE: After seeing the movie I have deemed that Star Trek may live. For now.

Hooker - 2009-05-06
Five stars for the premise, but -1 for The Onion's usual lack of creativity beyond that.
Hooker - 2009-05-06
Or five stars. Whatever.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-05-06
Hooker's a good cop!

Camonk - 2009-05-06
Give 'em the fives stars.

They've lowered our expectations enough that pulling off a competent bit is worth five stars.

Blaise - 2009-05-06
ABoyNamedCheese - 2009-05-06
this five is specifically for the "way back in the forties or something" line.
CornOnTheCabre - 2009-05-06
i will never get sick of attractive women dissing Star Trek. never.

Maggot Brain - 2009-05-06
Can't wait for the director's cut.
FABIO - 2009-05-06
You know, it doesn't really take Asperger's to think that a movie with kindergarten Kirk pulling a Thelma & Louise isn't going to be that great.

I just want another Star Trek IV =\
Camonk - 2009-05-06
Did you know they already made Star Trek IV? That you can watch it on your VCR machine since you're stuck a hundred years in the past? And that it's objectively not very good?

FABIO - 2009-05-07
Objectively...to people with crippling canon issues.

Innocent Bystander - 2009-05-06
Good gags on the shot of the forum topics as well.
B. Weed - 2009-05-06
And then life eclipses the Onion once again.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090506/ap_en_mo/film_star_trek_fi erce_fandom
Camonk - 2009-05-06
The bit about subtitles for Klingons was good. Five stars for that and for the Onion managing to fill two and a half minutes with two and a half minutes' worth of jokes.
Keefu - 2009-05-06
So can we come to a consensus that the Onion video shorts are fairly consistently funny now or are we going to have "I can't believe i'm 5ing this!!!!!" every time one of these is posted.
StanleyPain - 2009-05-06
It's still KIND OF hip and edgy to not like the Onion, so give a year or so.

mashedtater - 2009-05-06
i never watch the onion but when its posted here its always rather funny.

frankly im not terribly picky about starring things except music. i dunno, if i dont like music i wont star it low.

that just seems means somehow.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-05-06
i'm pretty sure we're gonna go with the latter. we always do.

Camonk - 2009-05-14
Not when most of them are still stretched way beyond their ability to support the premise.

jmags - 2009-06-10
Thank god we have the people on the internet to make fun of nerds?
FABIO - 2010-12-02
Turns out this movie fucking sucked.
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