No Safe Way

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No Safe Way

Desc:	Christians can't have fun, so they don't want you to either.
Category:	Religious
Tags:	sex, condom, christian rock, protection, Everything is Terrible
Submitted:	Smellvin
Date:	05/11/09
Views:	1957
Rating: View Ratings	Register to vote for this video Favorited 2 Times
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Billy the Poet

WHORE!

anvill

Commissioned by the Texas board of education.

Comeuppance

"85% Live
15% Don't"

CRITICAL CONDOM FAILURE

Innocent Bystander

When a condom fails (and it will because 15% is like all the time) YOU WILL INSTANTLY DIE AND NOTHING CAN SAVE YOU NO WAY JOSE YOU'RE DEAD DEAD DEAD.

The Faghorn

The lion's share of that 15 percent, wherever they got the figure from, is probably due to a lack of education about proper condom use. Way to go, commercial, bragging about how you're responsible for many more cases of infection than necessary.

Man Who Fights Like Woman
"85% EFFECTIVE

15% DON'T"

Don't WHAT?

Comeuppance
MHFLW: See 1:47

lordyam
tried and failed?
No, tried and died!

Kumquatxop

HAAAY

IF THEY GIVE THEM TO YOU AT SCHOOL THEN THEY MUST BE SAFE

Dinkin Flicka

He's got a killer counter argument with the shit they serve in some cafeterias. Or he could watch the music video

Blue

4:09 Abstinence is awesome! You'll be way cooler than all the other guys that are having sex with your girlfriend behind your back!

Caminante Nocturno

I guess the Christian rockers can't be bothered to play for the second guy.

Nicol

Yeah, Adrock is screwed.

KnowFuture

The girl initiates the sexytime AND she has a condom.

....yeah, that happens.

HankFinch

Then she handcuffs him, rapes him and stabs him, leaving him to die, bleeding in his car.

...yeah, that happens.

Hooper_X

After 45 seconds I was expecting the girl to literally and physically transform into Satan himself, or at the very least, some kind of succubus-type figure.

mashedtater

the prescreen only aides that vision as she has her mouth open uncomfortably wide like she is about to devour his soul

GlennFinito

Stars

Bort

The condom should've been apple-flavored, just to drive the theme home.

More than anything, though, the prettyboy seems to recoil at the touch of a woman, and he seems to be much happier being left on the side of the road at the end. Near a truck stop, I would imagine.

MongoMcMichael

"No safe way anymore" implies that there was once a safe way. Christians should be getting to work retro-engineering that technology, toot-sweet.

tokiyojimbo
Pretty clever having the girl be the aggressor though.

If it was the guy, their intended message would be drowned out by either the sleazy rapist factor, or the "them girls sure don't like having sex!" crowd.

zatojones

"Have fun walking home to your parents' bible study group. I'll be somewhere else blowing someone cooler than you."

Syd Midnight

I simply enjoy the absurdity of a shitty ersatz cock rock song about being too scared to get laid.

TeenerTot

This video presents a conundrum...
Clearly, he knows sex with her is potentially deadly. Where does this fear come from? One would assume that he has at least rumored knowledge about her whoring around.
So what is a good christian boy doing out with a known slut?
Or, if he knew she was a virgin (therefore making it OK to be seen with her), why would he be afraid of catching something from her? Wouldn't she be the "safest" thing he could do?

Lindner

So... they're necking in HER car?

I think the problem wasn't his christian upbringing or personal beliefs. Clearly he has no penis, and was afraid she would discover his terrible secret.

Robin Kestrel

I think that is why he is gazing down at his own lap so much of the time.

Man Who Fights Like Woman

I'm pretty sure my school used this for sex ed.

Gojira1000

The finger thing with the lyric "a little pleasure" is funny in so many ways.

glasseye

Ahhh Christians.

Camonk

I like not having fun--I like your idea of fun--our idea of fun. I like not having that.

I like the stinger, cause there's an 85% chance that guy had a great time. Those are good odds.

Twitch

OK, Clark Kent needs to just get one decent blow job - wait, even a fucking hand job, and then he'll be hooked. Hooked on SIN!

I can't wait to play this for my Youth Pastor; that'll teach him to use condoms!

Wombles

*GASP* A condom?! ww...wwhere'd you get that!?

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