do you have any idea what it means to establish a scene

...and miss the Im getting married in two days comedy gold? Is a minute and change too much to handle?

"I'm getting married in two days. If something happens to this plane and I die, I will hold your flight attendant ass responsible."

I wonder if his insurance covers this.

Look, you don't understand. It would be really bad if I died right now.

key phrase

"WAS"

I guess the wedding's... off.

YEEEEAH!!!

You see, a P-51 crashed into the shark's grandfather during WWII, so he's been plotting his revenge for decades now, eating and eating until he was big enough to take down a 747. Today, he avenged his grandfather. And yet somehow the victory seems hollow.

Hollow... as a 747.

YEEEEEAAAHHHHH!!

Oh. That makes sense, then. My apology, Anonymous.

who randomly blurts that to flight attendants?

in fact, when do you ever SEE one those ladies that close to you?

never.

I got food poisoning/pneumonia/mono while on a church group trip in high school, so I spent the last couple days holed up in the hotel room. I was all alone one afternoon when there was a knock at the door. I answered it, and there was this smoking hot blond MILF, who explained that she was a flight attendant and would be sleeping during the day and leaving for a flight late that night and wanted to alert her neighbors that it would be nice if noise could be kept to a minimum. I told her I was sick and wouldn't be making much noise myself. She smiled, thanked me and went back to her room. I thought to myself that this was just a bit odd, but didn't give it much though.

I'm not an adventurous man, and I don't regret many things in my life, but GOD DAMMIT.

here dicknuts, have some stars...

You should have told her you were getting married in two days. Then she could have told you to please return to your seat and a giant fucking shark would have eaten your hotel.

At first I thought you were going for a haiku.

Lorenzo Lamas
And Deborah Gibson are
In the same movie.

Stupid megashark, airplanes aren't food. Although they do contain food.

At least we know now who Jacob really is. THE MEGASHARK.

Dude, a statue commemorating the plane being eaten by a shark in mid air. What else?

Stars.

this should be the whole movie. They could put that dumb Smash Mouth song that's in every kid's movie ever in the end credits for the extra "wtf?" factor. Everybody just died and they're all 'all that glitters is gold...'