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The Bandit's first plan DID sound pretty good.
who comes up with these ideas
David Mitchell and Robert Webb primarily although they do have staff writers listed here.
"It's a real testament to your BMXing skills!"
Notice how the grateful woman at 1:12 looks like Gymkhana Girl? Get going with the embarrassing fanfiction, folks.
... Nevermind, Gymkhana Girl wears a hat, it's two different women.