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Desc:(Hint: It's Baraq U-baw-maw.)
Category:Religious, News & Politics
Tags:lightning, prophecy, obama, Antichrist
Submitted:MagickPoultry
Date:07/31/09
Views:5547
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Comment count is 34
zatojones
my decision: you're a retard
Bort
So why's a Rabbi reading the New Testament again?
charmlessman
Welp, I'm convinced.

Honey, get in the bomb shelter.
Nithing
The birth certificate is in HELL!
StanleyPain
If you read Obama's birth certificate aloud it opens the door to the Netherworld.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
In the tiny palm print there's a feint 666.

Riskbreaker
Rosemary's Baby was a documentary about Obama.

fermun
Lightning "Hussein" From the Heights is not my president!
mashedtater
i will vote for that man in a boxing match, however.

jangbones
hold on a second, I saw this exact video like twelve years ago, except "Antichrist" translated to "Wil-Hulm Clin-Too"
Xenocide
If Jesus wanted to warn us about the name of the anti-Christ so badly, why didn't he just SAY WHAT IT WAS? Why bother with all this Da Vinci Code bullshit?

Because, obviously, he foresaw the birth of Youtube, and knew that his last prophet would ascend to glory on its back.
Oldmacho
On a chariot made of chocolate and feathers.

manfred
At work today I read a magazine published by the classics students of the local university. It had an interesting article detailing a great list of the striking similarities between Christianity and the cult of the deified Julius Caesar.

Examples include:
1) The rivalry between Caesar and Pompeius seems to have inspired the story of John the Baptist.
2) Both Jesus and Caesar were reportedly miracle-makers. Caesar miraculously survived a storm and brought back the "honors of Marius" from Hades.
3) Both made a triumphant entry into a major city; Caesar on horseback, Jesus on a donkey.
5) Before their deaths, both enjoyed an intimate supper among their friends and colleagues. Both foretold their imminent murders. The betrayers (Judas and Brutus) were among the guests.
5) Death dates are similar (15th of Nisan and 15th of March)
6) Both were resurrected (Divus Julius). Octavian later adopted the title of divi filius (son of god).

And the list goes on. I know that the theory linking Jesus and Caesar has received a considerable amount of criticism from scholars, but still, the parallels seem obvious, especially since it is known for certain that the early imperial cult gained its most ardent followers from the Levant (especially Syria and Anatolia).
SteamPoweredKleenex
Go look up Mithras. For a comedic take on it, here's Stephen Fry on "Q.I." noting the similarities to Christianity:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zComMh8Vclk

A lot of apologetics will say it's all bull, but these are the same people who think the gospels are a whole work detailing similar events (they aren't; they're wildly different on a number of points, and Luke's borrows more from the Roman myths than most. It's also the gospel the Christmas traditions draw from, as no other gospel has the whole virgin birth and manger thing).

BOOSH
A number of Mediterranean-based religions have similar stories - its not particularly uncommon (Dionysian/Bacchus mysteries, Osirus cult, Orpheus, Sol Invictius, Tammuz, etc), especially after Alexander the Great's Hellenization the region and imposition of a similar language.
When the Jews and other peoples of the region began developing syncretic faiths, "interesting" things started to happen


Udderdude
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcpa.htm Lots of good, well-researched info on Jesus and similarities to other religious figures.

Rudy
Also, Jesus had a secretary who warned him against preaching the gospel. Her name? JULIUS CAESAR!

Julius also had a secretary named Pam Witmann but she was a pretty shitty assistant, really. She was only hired because of her huge tits.

COINCIDENCE?!!??!!??

THA SUGAH RAIN
FOURTH DIMENSIONAL REPTILIAN HAARP MONSTER = BARAK OBAMAW
Xenocide
I CHOOSE YOU!

Toenails
If our president's the antichrist based on his name, what does that make his dad?
BOOSH
I'd hate for this guy to find out that a former Israeli PM was named Ehud Barak, which could,very badly, be translated as "Uniter of Lightning" or "Glory of Lightning" which is a WAY better Anti-Christ name.

Plus, the whole "Jewish thing" would open up so many more doors of crazy


Meerkat
Jesus didn't write those words in Aramaic. LUKE did. Hence the name, "Luke". See, the scriptures were written by these dudes called "The Apostles" and they each wrote something called a "Gospel". For example, the "Gospel" according to "Luke". Which meant that "Luke" had written that particular "Gospel", called "Luke" BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN BY "LUKE" YOU DUMB FUCK.
pot kettle black
The Gospel of Luke was written in Greek. It's unclear who it was written by.

Man Who Fights Like Woman
OH SHIT

HE'S GOT A DICTIONARY, AND CAN CITE EXACT WORDS OUT OF IT

AND HE MAY HAVE GONE THOUGH AN INTRO HEBREW COURSE

WE'RE ALL FUCKED NOW
mashedtater
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Caminante Nocturno
Barack Obama's first name (Barack) is only two letters away from Baraka, the evil mutant warrior with retractable arm-blades and one of the Mortal Kombat universe's most fearsome fighters.

Obama's last name, if replaced with the word FATALITY, is also suspicious.
dead_cat
So you're telling me out current president is merely two letters away from being our MOST AWESOME PRESIDENT EVER?

jerrysp702
CN made me laugh.

divinitycycle
A million stars for that comment, sir! You are a prince among men and fill my heart with joy.

dead_cat
Man, I remember back when the bible was telling us all how the name of the antichrist was Bill Clinton.
HankFinch
Wouldn't that be "Lightning Heights"
I think Jesus was trying to warn us of a housing development, kinda like in Poltergeist.
pastorofmuppets
Why am I not surprised by the accent.
ashtar.
Who put the baw in the u-baw-maw?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong?
Xero
Jesus said these words, "I beheld Satan as lightning falling from the heavens." Satan. SATAN. Not the antichrist. That would mean Barak Obama = Satan

That being said, that's fucking awesome. I am so enlisting in his army. I hope he reveals the mark of the beast soon so I can brand it into my forehead. Anyone have any advance notice on what it is?
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